The HP Beholder reveals went up two days ago and I can now openly and properly thank [livejournal.com profile] florahart for the inspiration and [livejournal.com profile] bethbethbeth for giving me the opportunity to write goblin smut. Serious, non-cracky and non-squicky (well, as non-squicky as it gets, given the subject matter) goblin smut:

The Dog's Days of Summer, Griphook/Aunt Muriel and Arthur Weasley/Arabella Figg, NC-17

I was given the sweet and wistful Swings and Roundabouts by [livejournal.com profile] strav: There's the hopeful story of Dudley's coming of age and coming to terms with girls and with the magical world, interwoven with the poignent and melancholy exploration of Petunia's past almost-love and regrets.

Ever since Big D's worst memory, Dudley has become one of my favourite male characters to be explored in fics, and I love the character development he undergoes in Swings and Roundabouts. (The other surprising favourite among the boys is Aberforth, on whom I have developed a rather embarrassing crush. To think that I've got to compete against goats!)

I have realised that, unlike in the early days in fandom, when it was all about hot guys getting it on with each other, I have become much more interested in exploring the mindsets and sexuality of elderly women. So far I have written:

Minerva McGonagall
Augusta Longbottom
Petunia Dursley
Poppy Pomfrey
Aunt Muriel
Arabella Figg

I've also written Molly Weasley, but I don't like her and can't bring myself to write anything nice for her. Well, she gets to have sex with Remus and Harry respectively, so that's something, I suppose.

Oddly, I don't feel like writing Sybil Trelawney or Pomona Sprout. I would love to tackle Professor Grubbly-Plank, though. Perhaps next time, eh, Beth? *hinthint*
Since everybody's doing it, here's my fic round-up for 2009. I actually did manage to write three things. Fancy that!

Frozen, Poppy Pomfrey/Severus Snape, PG-13, written for HP Beholder 2009

The Full Circle, Doctor Who crossover, Remus Lupin/Tenth Doctor, rated R for some sexual contents and general emo-ness

Not the Model Boy of the Village, gen, Sirius-centric, R (for language), written for the Big Bang Blackout and based on Mark Twain's Tom Sawyer

The last one, I am rather pleased with, as I managed to create a Dumbledore who's so ambiguous that even I myself are not sure whether I can trust him or not. I found myself believing him, even though I knew I shouldn't, seeing as I wrote him and knew what he did last summer.
I have been checking out the fic folder on my harddrive lately and have come across several fics that I have started writing at some point, liked the concept of, but never finished. This is one of them: I started writing it long before DH and have now adjusted a few details to make it fit into canon a slightly bit better. It's not exactly completely canon-compliant, but hey - it's just a PWP!

I have always been quite amused by the indignant outcry regarding Ginny's resemblance with Lily and how much Harry/Ginny smelled of unresolved mummy issues. Because if Ginny resembles someone, surely that someone is Molly. And there has been ample fodder for Harry/Molly in canon. To quote but a few instances:

GoF, Chap 31: "She bent down and kissed him on the cheek."

GoF, Chap. 36: "Mrs Weasley set the potion down on the bedside cabinet, bent down, and put her arms around Harry. He had no memory of being hugged like this, as though by a mother."

HBP, Chap. 4: "'You are sweet,' beamed Mrs. Weasley."

HBP, Chap. 17: "Mrs. Weasley sobbed harder than ever as she enfolded Harry in her arms."

HBP, Chap 19: "…now Mrs. Weasley seized hold of Harry and hugged him very tightly."

And in OotP Harry leaves the party following Mrs Weasley upstairs in "The Woes of Mrs Weasley", which, as I'm sure everyone will agree, clearly indicates that wild cross-gen orgies were supposed to happen upstairs.

Reasoning thusly, I decided to write the sadly underrepresented pairing Harry/Molly myself:

Title: The Infernal Machine
Author: Donna Immaculata
Pairing: Harry Potter/Molly Weasley
Rating: R
Warnings: Harry/Molly. Set during DH, Harry is 17. PWP.
Summary: Exhausted from the hunt for Horcruxes, Harry wants to go home.

A/N: The title is plagiarised from Jean Cocteau, whose play of the same title retells the story of Oedipus.

The Infernal Machine )
All this nightmare scenario-related talk about Molly and my dislike of her, in combination with [livejournal.com profile] camillabloom's delightfully filthy and squicky Molly/Sirius rape fic, and with [livejournal.com profile] sistermagpie's discussion of the Weasley twins and casual cruelty in HP made me think that time is right for explaining why, exactly, I don't like Molly. It's not, as one could assume, because she was "nasty to Sirius" in OotP (although this is one of the factors). It is because Molly represents exactly the image of motherhood that makes my hair stand up and my insides squirm with disgust and annoyance.

I know she's got her reasons for being protective. She is also widely considered a "strong" mother figure and her love for her family is often used as an explanation for her behaviour. But love can go horribly wrong and loving someone does not make us infallible.

Here's what I think and don't think about Molly. )
I made a pledge. Remember my pledge? It includes the sentence "However... given sufficient crack and an infinite number of monkeys, here's how a Remus/Molly shag might happen (though I sincerely hope it never does, and if it does, I just don't want to know)."

Well, this was a lie. Obviously, I am a sick, sick person, as I couldn't resist writing a fic based on my own nightmare scenario, without the help of crack or monkeys.

Title: Black Tears
Author: Donna Immaculata
Word Count: 2220
Pairing: Remus/Molly, Remus/Mrs Black (Yes, I am going to hell, why?)
Warning: dubious consent, character death (2x), possibly squick, alcohol abuse, adultery, general unpleasantness
Rating: N for nightmare
Disclaimer: This is not my fault. Minerva McTabby is to blame, as are [livejournal.com profile] fluffyllama and [livejournal.com profile] laurelwood, who made me do it.
A/N: completely and utterly unbeta-ed; this was supposed to be a humorous fic, but... well... it took a different direction; also, it makes slightly more sense if you read the aforementioned pledge first

Don't read if you: a) like Molly b) are easily squicked c) don't believe in Remus' Cock O'Doom believe that Remus is sweet and harmless

Black Tears )
I, Donna Immaculata, do solemnly swear that my favorite HP character is Remus Lupin and my least favorite character is Molly Weasley. The mere thought of them doing naughty things together makes me whimper. However... given sufficient crack and an infinite number of monkeys, here's how a Remus/Molly shag might happen (though I sincerely hope it never does, and if it does, I just don't want to know).

Necessary plot device or deus ex machina: Molly's menopause being in full swing already, she works herself into hysterics about the state of Harry's socks. As all her family rather hide in some forgotten corners in a house full of Dark magic than deal with Molly's humours, poor, patient Remus takes over.
Who makes the first move: Remus decides that the only way to shut her up is shoving his cock down her throat.
Positions and/or kinks: Remus' cock down her throat.
Afterglow: What with her nose blocked up with snot, Molly chokes to death on the (considerably large) cock. Remus decides to hook up with Mrs Black next.
Would I actually read or write this? I would, if only to see Molly choke to death.

The sad thing is, this is a fairly plausible pairing. Thank God Molly is not hawt enough for fandom to explore it.
The writing of my Tom Sawyer adaptation fic got me thinking about a few things, which I feel compelled to address. For once, there is the question of Molly's reaction to a werewolf living in Grimauld Place. I assume that Molly didn't know Remus previously: his name wasn't known to her children when he started teaching, she wasn't in the Order during the first war, and there isn't really any connection between them. She is Sirius' cousin by marriage, but nothing indicates that they've known each other previously, either. Consequently, there must have been a moment between GoF and OotP when Molly learned that a werewolf would be moving in the house she and her family were staying in. (Or vice versa.)

From all that we know about Molly, she is not the most open-minded person on earth. Her reaction to the werewolf at St. Mungo's shows very clearly that she does not want any of that kind around her family. She is worried about Arthur's safety and asks whether the werewolf shouldn't be kept in a seperate ward. This happens after she had spent several month living with a werewolf under one roof, with whom she seemed to be getting along quite well. During all this time, she had the chance to learn that being a werewolf doesn't mean a person's a bloodthirsty maniac all the time and that even during the full moon, a werewolf can be kept under control. However, Molly doesn't trust werewolves as such at all. She has learned to accept Remus, but she fears 'his kind'. Consequently, she is one of those people who, in RL, don't want foreigners coming into their country because they are a smelly, stealing and generally untrustworthy bunch, but who is willing to accept that the foreign family next door is rather civilised and clean and 'not at all as the rest of them.' (I speak from the position of someone who lives as a lower-rank foreigner in a country that is not the one of my birth, and I do encounter people who tell me that they 'don't mind me' not being a native and that 'I am not at all as the rest of my lot' *rolls eyes*)

Arthur and Molly are, in spite of their acceptance of Muggles, very traditional with regard to their view on other groups: The indicators are not only their total ignorance about the Muggle way of life, but also the way Ron reacts when he learns about Remus' being a werewolf and Hagrid's being a half-giant. Plus, the Weasleys are supposedly tolerant and Muggle-loving, but they are pure-bloods. The whole clan is. (There seem to be more Weasleys, though we haven't met them yet.) In a society where pure-blood wizards are a minority, maintaining the pure-blood status requires some effort. It is therefore safe to assume that the Weasleys do marry their kind on purpose. Without a malicious attitude towards Muggles, but because of a certain distrust towards them.

I think that Remus had to fight hard to gain Molly's trust and respect. When she met him, she probably knew he was a werewolf and there was no reason whatsoever she would trust him a priori. Dumbledore probably vouched for Remus, but I doubt that would Molly make trust him. She might grudgingly accept his presence, but she would still eye him suspiciously as though expecting him to grow fangs and make for people's jugulars at any moment.

Remus, for his part, has developed a method to deal with such distrust: He does everything to appear sweet and harmless, offers the shoulder to cry on and is generally disgustingly understanding. I'm not sure whether OotP Molly genuinely likes Remus or not, but from how I interpret Remus' character, his behaviour towards Molly does not derive from friendship and respect but from necessity: He has to prevent, at all costs, to give her any ground to attack him on.

The other thing I want to mention is the sheer idiocy and blatant incompetency of the Death Eaters who fought Harry and the other children at the Ministry. This scene annoyed me more than anything else in the novel. I haven't got my OotP copy here, but from what I recall, Harry & Co. used hexes and curses such as Tarantallegra, Petrificus totalus and Stupefy - and so did the Death Eaters, because Neville ended up being hexed with Tarantallegra.

Even though their priority might have been getting the prophecy and they didn't want to risk destroying it under any circumstances - surely a bunch of skilled Death Eaters could do better than that? We haven't learned much about hexes and curses, but the fact alone that Moody's face is horribly scarred and he's got one eye and one leg missing indicate that some really badass hexes do exist, which can really, really hurt a person. Like, really. Wizard healers are, after all, able to re-grow a person's bones from the scratch (cf. CoS and OotP, where Muggles are brought to St. Mungo's for bone re-growing after encountering Willie Widdershin's (?) door knobs, or so). Unless Moody was hit by a particularly nasty form of Tarantallegra which made his leg dance even after the curse was lifted, I suppose that he was subject to something much worse. The Death Eaters who were sent to get the prophecy should have been able to use, oh, 'may your eyeballs pop out' or 'may your flesh dissolve and fall off your bones' curses and most certainly, they should have been able to block the hexes which the children were taught in their second (Duelling Club), third and fourth year.

These are just random thoughts that popped into my head whilst writing. Consider them as lengthy author's-notes-in-advance.

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September 2014

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