Dear fanfic writers,

Do you ever stumble across a piece of writing in your draft folder that you had completely forgotten and that amuses you when you discover it after all those years? I saw the other day that, back in 2006, I had written a Slobodan Milosevic*/Harry Potter crossover:

"Whatever happened to Slobodan Milosevic? Mystery crack

Milosevic is dead and on his way to larger-than-life martyrdom. There's nothing like being a criminal - alleged or convicted - and dying under mysterious circumstances to become a martyr. Rumour will have it that he's been poisoned by corrupt Dutch authorities. According to my latest information (radio, half an hour ago), his death was caused by anti-leprosy and anti-tuberculosis drugs which counteracted the effects of his heart medication. However, considering all facts, I can't help but see some parallels and notice some evidence that points firmly into a different direction. South-Eastern Europe? Connection to Kosovo-Albanians? A mother's untimely death? High-security prison? Where have I read all this before?

Let's have a look at this letter exchange:

July 1995

Dear Master-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named,

Contrary to all the rumours that might reach you, I have not resigned my strategic position by the side of H. P. because of the threats uttered against me by the escaped convict Black. I have resigned it, because rumours of much more worrying matter has finally made it to Hogwarts: apparently, the region in which you are currently residing is under attack. A maniac who thinks himself fit to challenge the Greatest Wizard of All Times (yourself, Master) is on the war path and attempts to destroy all and everything around him. Including yourself.

I know of course that such rumours are greatly exaggerated, but I have nevertheless decided that I would be of more use at your side than skulking around the Weasley boy's bed. I have therefore set off and am on my way.

Sincerely,

P. Pettigrew

PS. I'm not sending this letter by owl but by wren, as in your present condition an owl might accidentally eat you.



a gust 1995

to: fithfl sssservnt in spe, baartmussss cruoch

havnig hard of ur latst misfortunessss, i hve deciedd to grant u the graet honor of freeng u frmo teh unwrthy cnditoin u hav ben ssssufffring undr. 4 furthr detials rfer to my obdinte sssrvant p.pttetigrw

ur master (exsss & in sssspe)

Lrd vald e mart

ps. plz x-cuse spell.work, hloding qill wehn disssmbodeid fuking hard. LOL!!!11



November 1995

Dear Barty,

I have received the order to inform you that your father is cracking under the strain put upon him by our beloved Master. He spends his evening hours sitting in what I have come to understand was your mother's favourite chair and reliving the story of your escape from Azkaban over and over again. Did you know your mother got the idea of impersonating you from an old school friend from Durmstrang? Apparently, that Mrs. Miloshevich (sp?) faked her own death by hanging, and spent the last 30 years alternately impersonating her son and whispering advice in his ear. It was she who infused him with such hatred against our Master. He has now sent out troops which roam the South-Easter-European forests and kill everything and everyone who looks "foreign" to them. How that Squib could have learned about our Master's whereabouts remains a mystery to me. But at least his trail is now cold. Mua ha ha!

Anyway, we decided it's for the best if your father took it easy from now on and are keeping him locked up in the basement.

Your friend and well-wisher,

Pete"

*Serbian dictator and war criminal responsible for the Bosnian genocide during the Balkan war

I also drafted an idea for an obscure crossover challenge where I brought Emma Woodhouse and Eminem together. (Unsurprisingly, Eminem was introduced to Emma by Mr Frank Churchill. Mr Knightley was not pleased):

Snippet )

So, do you have any weird ficlets lying around that will never see the light of day? Do share!
Oh, look, I wrote fic.

Title: The Full Circle
Author: Donna Immaculata
Crossover: Harry Potter/Doctor Who
Rating: R for some sexual contents and general emo-ness
Pairing: Remus Lupin/Tenth Doctor
Word Count: 6,000
Summary: The Doctor wants to meet a werewolf and picks up a new companion.

The Full Circle )
*crawls back from under a rock*

So, I finally watched the last six Torchwood episodes in a row, and while the series leaves me rather unimpressed, I quite like the notion of the TARDIS' shipping Doctor/Jack. Because - she donated some Vortex to make Jack immortal! She Ah, damn, spoiler )

But I was thinking - Jack has never yet seen Ten. (Even though he probably took a very close look at The Hand.) Ten will have some explaining to do, and, being the narcist that he is, he might use visuals to bring his point across. - And so did I. And wrote a ficlet which I illustrated with images from all over the Internet

Picture-heavy post ahead!

Title: A Time Lord's Family Album is a One-Man Affair
Author: Donna Immaculata
Paring: Jack Harkness/Tenth Doctor
Rating: PG-13 for language and innuendos
Summary: The Doctor has an embarrassing history. Jack takes a close look.
Disclaimer: Not my characters, not my actors, not my pictures.

A Time Lord's Family Album )
Hm. The reason why I hardly post anymore is that I just can't get back into the swing of HP and haven't found any adequate replacement fandom yet. I do watch Doctor Who and do moderately lust (after a short-lived period of passionate, fully-fledged I-want-to-shag-him-NOW lusting) after David Tennant, but I just can't take this show seriously enough to discuss it. I've tried. I read other people's posts but hardly ever comment, as my brain refuses to come up with any meta. I'm not passionate enough about Doctor Who to form an opinion on anything, really. Episode hate eludes me, because I find them all equally enjoyable, in a fun, 45-minutes kiddie telly sort of way. Doctor Who is like a superficial fling with a hot-yet-emotionally-and-intellectually-unfulfilling boy after having just come out of a long and meaningful relationship with a mature and interesting adult. Trust me, I would know.

Anyway. I might just mention that I miss the HP fandom and mourn the death of my deep love for it. All wankiness aside (which, BTW, is quite easy to avoid; I've managed to keep out of any wank for some three years or so), the HP fandom is fun. And it's delightfully kinky, which is something that is regretably missing from Doctor Who - or any other fandom I've been toying with in the last few years, for that matter. Tell me if I'm wrong, because I am willing to learn, but is there any other fandom which is so shameless and so filthy as HP? I mean, we pair everyone with everything, as long as it's got a pulse. Or not.*

So, Doctor Who has all these possibilities, what with alien creatures of all descriptions which could be the basis for seriously kinky and totally pervy alien sex, and the time travel which could be the basis for hawt Doctor/Julius Caesar, Doctor/Barbara Cartland, Doctor/Casanova, Doctor/Henry VIII, Doctor/Calamity Jane, Doctor/Xantippe, Doctor/Immanuel Kant, Doctor/homo erectus porn, but, sadly, isn't. Instead, we get Ten making tender love to Rose *sighs*

Love and monsters made me realise this sad fact anew, because the predominant reaction to Elton/spoiler ) seems to be "ew, creepy". Personally, I love it. And it says something about the quality of the much-promoted main pairing that I prefer Elton/spoiler to Ten/Rose. No competition.

On another pairing note: Jackie/Mickey is now canon, isn't it? Now that we witnessed her in her behaviour towards yummy young men whom she uses as handymen?

And finally: Does Ten dress Rose's hair? Is this what the swivel chair by the TARDIS console is there for? Because is not that easy to braid your hair into an elaborate do yourself, you know.

*Shamelessly stealing other people's lines. Yep, that's me.
I wrote fic! It's short and it's silly, but it's a start. Now there's hoping I'll get back into the swing of writing.

Title: That's why they call me Mr Fahrenheit
Author: Donna Immaculata
Rating: PG-13 for innuendos
Words: 1850
Warnings: Cross-species, stolen puns, silliness and a hint of crack
Pairing: Ron/Ten (Doctor Who)
Disclaimer: None of the characters mentioned in this fic are mine. Hot!Ron belongs to Shocolate.
A/N: The premise requires some explanation: [livejournal.com profile] shocolate claims that Ron's so hot he won't stay wet long as the water simply evaporates. We know that the tenth Doctor is so hot that he won't stay wet long, as proved in New Earth. They're the perfect match.

That's why they call me Mr Fahrenheit
Okay, so I went to see Kingdom of Heaven. It made me realise one thing: Not only are all libraries connected via L-Space, no, all movies are, too. I'm sure the Reader in Invisible Writings could deduct the nature of all movies not yet made, never to be made and almost-made-but-the-budget-ran-out-and-then-the-star-topped-herself by watching the films that already exist.

It also made me think of the Trousers of Time, and how some characters seem to try to replay their fomer parts and iron out mistakes they made in the past. It doesn't always work out, though.

Anyway, to say it with the words of a friend of mine: How the fuck did they play those parts with no trace of self-irony?*

By Jingo! )
[livejournal.com profile] ithurtsmybrain issued that challenge that affected my brain badly indeed, and so I started writing an Emma Woodhouse/Eminem fic. I intended it to be a shortish ficlet and to post it straightaway, but it didn't quite work out. Now I'm stuck between giving it up entirely, leaving it short, or taking the story somewhere.

Would any of you like to read it through and advise me to give it up what to do? It's an attempt at the Austen style. I'm agonising about Eminem, because I totally don't know what the man sounds like when not rapping, and I can't have him contribute song lyrics alone even though it's fun. Does anyone know which phrases he uses, apart from "like"?

Here's how it begins )

Apart from that I'm well. No permanent brain damage done yet. Drowning in work at the moment and owing comments aplenty. I will get down to it asap, I promise.
It's two more days until deadline, and I already posted the crossover fic I wrote for [livejournal.com profile] prurient_badger. That's a first.

Title: Crossroads
Crossover: HP/Narnia
Word Count: 3,940
Rating: R for disturbing contents and mild slash
Characters: Edmund-centric
Disclaimer: I own neither The Chronicles of Narnia nor Harry Potter.
Summary: While exploring the White Witch's house, Edmund has a strange encounter
Notes: I took liberties with the timeline in The Lion, The Witch And The Wardrobe. This story is set in the half hour between Edmund's arrival in the White Witch's house and their setting off after Peter, Susan, Lucy and the Beavers.

Beta-read by the fabulous [livejournal.com profile] rosina_alcona, who owns my heart, and, if she so chooses, my firstborn.

Crossroads
Another wonderful fic written for the [livejournal.com profile] crossover_hp challenge: Voldemort meets his Death at last. HP/Discworld crossover. A hilarious piece, featuring a wonderful Death, Mrs. Flamel's cream cake and, of course, a Game. Cake or Death?, PG
[livejournal.com profile] alkairis wrote a beautiful, poignant fic, which makes me ridiculously happy, in spite of being full of melancholy and sadness. The plot is very clever indeed, but it is the things unsaid rather than the things said that create an atmosphere which leaves me breathless and full of longing. I feel as though I caught a brief glimpse behind a veil where old childhood dreams are hidden, which I can almost - but not quite - reach. Go, read it: The Land of Voices, HP/Narnia, Luna-centred, PG, gen.
Thank you so much! Your parcel arrived today, and a cool-ass postcard is in the making.

I'd have loved to give you an Aziraphale/Crowley drabble, but I haven't started reading the book yet, so here's just a traditional cross-over to say, "Thank you".

Much too long for a drabble, because I haven't slept for 24 hours now and my brain won't cooperate the way it should. )

Drabbles

Jan. 3rd, 2004 05:06 pm
I've been having fun catching up on some writing. Behind the cut are a couple of drabbles inspired by [livejournal.com profile] hpsquick100, which I haven't posted to the community because - all of a sudden - the week would be over and a new challenge assigned.

Some light squick )
God bless different time zones, eh?

I've got a little pressie for you. It's cut for silliness and the Worst Pun I've Ever Written.

Le Grand Morte )
The amazing [livejournal.com profile] villainny did it! She did it! She wrote a Death/Sirius drabble, and it's oh, so beautiful.

For all you people out there who don't know Death: he's an anthropomorphic personification and, um, lives in the Discworld. For all you people who know Death: Go read!

The entire thread is full to bursting with wonderful, hilarious, darkish, witty HP/Discworld crossover drabbles, and even if you don't care for Pratchett, they're definitely worth reading.

I do care for Pratchett, and my first attempt at HP fanfiction was, in fact, a crossover. It didn't work for many reasons I better cut. )


I might be absent from LJ for a few days. A friend is staying at my place and he will force me to turn my entire attention towards RL. Some people are quite inconsiderate.

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September 2014

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