This is going to be used for one purpose only, and it's got nothing to do with speaking:

Isn't this the scariest thing you've ever seen?
Last night, I dreamt that Joseph Gordon-Levitt, who, as it turned out, lives just across the road, asked me out (as he damn well should!). I had flirted with him by drawing hearts on the frosted windowpanes, and he couldn't resist.

My subconscious is so crafty.

ETA: Aaand I'm off Joseph G-L again, because all the time I've had the nagging feeling that he looks like someone I know in RL. And then I narrowed it down to "someone I'm related to". And then I watched this interview:

...and with the short-cropped hair, dear Joe looks like my cousin, only in dark, whereas my cousin is blond and blue-eyed.

So that was that. It was nice while it lasted, Joe!
Have any of you heard of the current plagiarism scandal in Germany? ([ profile] trobadora has, I assume?) Seeing as a blogger is involved, I thought it is relevant to our interests:

So, there's this edgy bestseller by the latest literary fräuleinwunder, Helene Hegemann, who's 17 and has written a novel about sex, drugs and Berlin's techno clubs. The novel was celebrated by everyone and their mother, until it came to light that the author had copied entire passages as well as very distinctive neologisms ("Vaselintitten", "Technoplastizität") verbatim from a blogger, who's been publishing excerpts from his novel on his blog:

So far, so appalling. The girl is 17, was 16 when she wrote "her" novel, so perhaps - very perhaps - one might accept her apology and trust that she wasn't aware what she was doing. Assuming she were a very thick 17-year-old.

But: Now that all this came to light, not only doesn't she show any remorse but explains it all with "intertextuality" instead - others, too, justify this blatant act of plagiarism by handwaving it as "intertextuality". Because, you see, we should stop being so naive and we should abandon our old-fashioned ideas of authors creating "original" and "unique" material. Everyone, even the greatest in literature, have been using other people's ideas when writing their novels or poems. What is Thomas Mann's "Zauberberg" if not a copy of Goethe's "Faust"? And even before literature had become a widely spread form of art, back in the days when oral tradition was the established mode of distributing stories - everything was in the public domain anyway, and nobody got upset that their name wasn't attached to the story they had created. (Yes, this is an actual argument I've heard in this debate. The mind, it boggles.) So the author should suck it up already.

I feel I should read up more on the debate, because I misremember the definition of "intertextuality" that has been used to justify this plagiarism, but I just don't have the strength of mind necessary to wade though that crap.

Die Süddeutsche Zeitung has a short interview with a blogger who noticed the striking resemblance between the rip-off and the original. Excerpts:

"It's not only individual words, but also slightly re-phrased sentences and passages, as I realised when comparing the two."

"The novel ends with a letter written to the protagonist by his dead mother. Here, Helene Hegemann has obviously used the lyrics of Fuck You by the band Archive, has perhaps changed one or two words before using it, but without indicating the quote."

Teh Sparkly

Aug. 6th, 2008 01:28 pm
Everything I know about Twilight I have learned from my flist, and I know that I will never, ever read the books. I never intended to waste any words on them, either, but I would like some confirmation that what I've now read is true:

Bella gives birth to Edmund's Sparkly!Vampire!Magical!WerewolfSoulmate!Baby and the following things happen in the process:

a) she pukes blood
b) the Sparkly!Vampire!Magical!WerewolfSoulmate!Baby breaks her pelvis and her spine
c) Edmund uses his awesome sparkly marble teeth to bite the Sparkly!Vampire!Magical!WerewolfSoulmate!Baby free from the womb

Really? I mean, seriously? Because if so, then this is the most beautiful cracky squick ever, and I am seriously impressed with SMeyer. I would have never dared to put anything like that into a novel I intend to be published and read by children.

Then again, I am not a romantic :-(
Do any of you read [ profile] weepingcock? If not, you totally should. It's highly educational. Today, for example, I learned that a) there is a Rammstein fandom (which shouldn't have surprised me, and yet it did) and b) that, apparently, it's filled with fluffy fics in which the Rammstein guys cry a lot.

What is the world coming to?

It's Rammstein. They sing about eating people out of jealousy and about men raping their daughters and about getting off on whipping "white flesh" into bloody shreds. They sing about sick pervy stuff. They should be awarded with sick pervy fics with lots and lots of fetishes and bloodplay and suchlike.

I am shocked.
I have been checking out the fic folder on my harddrive lately and have come across several fics that I have started writing at some point, liked the concept of, but never finished. This is one of them: I started writing it long before DH and have now adjusted a few details to make it fit into canon a slightly bit better. It's not exactly completely canon-compliant, but hey - it's just a PWP!

I have always been quite amused by the indignant outcry regarding Ginny's resemblance with Lily and how much Harry/Ginny smelled of unresolved mummy issues. Because if Ginny resembles someone, surely that someone is Molly. And there has been ample fodder for Harry/Molly in canon. To quote but a few instances:

GoF, Chap 31: "She bent down and kissed him on the cheek."

GoF, Chap. 36: "Mrs Weasley set the potion down on the bedside cabinet, bent down, and put her arms around Harry. He had no memory of being hugged like this, as though by a mother."

HBP, Chap. 4: "'You are sweet,' beamed Mrs. Weasley."

HBP, Chap. 17: "Mrs. Weasley sobbed harder than ever as she enfolded Harry in her arms."

HBP, Chap 19: "…now Mrs. Weasley seized hold of Harry and hugged him very tightly."

And in OotP Harry leaves the party following Mrs Weasley upstairs in "The Woes of Mrs Weasley", which, as I'm sure everyone will agree, clearly indicates that wild cross-gen orgies were supposed to happen upstairs.

Reasoning thusly, I decided to write the sadly underrepresented pairing Harry/Molly myself:

Title: The Infernal Machine
Author: Donna Immaculata
Pairing: Harry Potter/Molly Weasley
Rating: R
Warnings: Harry/Molly. Set during DH, Harry is 17. PWP.
Summary: Exhausted from the hunt for Horcruxes, Harry wants to go home.

A/N: The title is plagiarised from Jean Cocteau, whose play of the same title retells the story of Oedipus.

The Infernal Machine )
So, I went online, looking for religion-related sites. And then I found this:

"Fundies Say the Darndest Things!"


"Sorry, but as a hearty Christian, I care a whole lot about where you're putting your genitals. I just want so badly for you to put your penis inside of a virginal vagina."

"I have a question. What if I masturbated to the mental imagery of someone being converted to christianity. There would be nothing sexual involved in the thoughts that would be taking place. It might take me longer to finish but yeah, what if that was the case?"

"Just wait till the United States becomes a CHRISTIAN nation again. We will get rid of public schools, put kids back in church schools the way it was at thye beggining of our nation. Abortion, Homosexuality,new-age mumbo jumbo, False Religions such as Mormons, Jehovahs witnesses, Catholics, Jews, Kawanza, Halloween, Satanic Music, will be all abolished when this nation once again becomes a Christian nation as it was intended."

"But God don't talk in Arabic. He talks in a REAL language, namely, English. It's true that back in them days He translated that to some other language after Speaking it in English, but after all, it's His universe and He can do what He doggone well wants to do."

"A person who sold a slave did not make God sick like watching two men do it." - Strangely, according to the Bible, this is probably true.

"I'm tired of hearing all of this debate of homosexuality. Why is it even debateable? These people are abominations in the eyes of the Lord; they could change their ways but choose not to. There's no arguement, that's just how it is. We should burn the gays at the stake, it worked in the Inquisition...I don't see any witches around anymore (real witches, not those hippy wiccan imitation witches)."

"I honestly don't care about your rights. If it were up to me, all Atheists would be burnt at the stake and or cast into a river with weights tied to their ankles and or placed before the firing squad, etc etc etc."

"Female circumcision is not barbaric. It is done for a reason, to keep the female pure. If only we adopted such practices here in the UK, then maybe women would be less inclined toward infidelity and therefore family values would still be an integral part of society."

"Don't ever compare heterosexual incest to homosexuality! Homosexuality is much worse because it involves two people with the same genitalia! At least incest can be traditional, and involve a man and a woman--a brother and a sister, Just like the children of Adam & Eve! So wonderful and pure of heart! God bless. "

"God's definition of "flat" is wholly different from ours. The world is flat in His eyes, but spherical in ours. This is simply because our eyes are tainted with sin and doubt."

I do like this one a lot:

"I appreciate your recommendation, and it is intriguing, but as a pro-lifer, I cannot support an organization that is opposed to the death penalty."

The above train of thought is explained thusly:


More fundies' pearls of wisdom [Or, as Eddie Izzard puts it: "There's pearls of wisdom and there's pearls of... nutcaseness."]

And an extra tip for a happy marriage:

"Hasten for intercourse when your husband feels compulsion for it."

And to throw in Terry Pratchett, as well: "Auditors were fascinated by religion, because so much that was done in its name didn't make any sense at all. Genocide, for example." (paraphrased)

ETA: The LEGO Bible. This is seriously funny:

Especially the sex stuff:

Check out the sheep!

And the Greatest Sin of All

Apparently, someone had dropped Teh Gay Bomb on Sodom & Gomorrha
*makes a rare appearance*

I'm still alive, and I wrote fic. If anyone's at all interested: it's in the "Life on Mars" fandom, which I have only discovered about two weeks ago on account on not having been able to download the series before. I liked it, and I quite fancy Sam (big surprise there), and so I jumped on the chance to mess him about a bit. After all, the boy likes to suffer, doesn't he?

And, because I am sick inna head, I wrote him an incestuous relationship with his mother, to add to his other problems. (Also because I am quite in love with [ profile] elen_ancalima's beautiful icon *points* as well as the fact that there is a television series out there that has a sock puppet appear in the role of the protagonist's mother. Hence a mother!fic it had to be.)

Title: A resident stranger, as it seems
Fandom: Life on Mars
Author: Donna Immaculata
Rating: PG-13
Word count: 3600
Characters/Pairing: Sam/Ruth
Warnings: Mother/son incest! Not graphic, though. Very, very tame, in fact.
Summary: Ruth is living on borrowed time.

A/N: John Simm said in an interview published under the BBC press releases: "At one point he meets his mum and she's beautiful and younger than him and he quite fancies her and she fancies him. She flirts with him and he flirts with her. That's got to mess with his head!"
- Why, yes. That's reason enough for me to mess with his and her head.

A resident stranger, as it seems )

On a different (though quite as sick) note: [ profile] wildestranger made me read [ profile] pre_raphaelite1's ficlet Pink Socks, and [ profile] pre_raphaelite1, in turn, "inspired" me to write a Umbridge/Mrs Norris romance. Complete with purple prose and mentions of kitty!tongue.

Considering that the last fic I wrote was Tenth Doctor/Cat!Nun, a strange and worrying trend seems to evolve. I certainly will feel very dirty if the cat decides to spend the night on my stomach tonight and kneads my breasts into submission before going to sleep.
Title: The Master and Bellatrix
Recipient: 021, Clementine Sweetfoot
Author: Morosia Millovitsch, pinch-hitting
Pairing: Bellatrix/Harry, with a side dish of Voldemort and a mention of Sirius
Words: 3000
Rating: adult
Warning: The request was: smut, somnophilia, dubious consent, bloodplay, and mild BDSM; I added torture, mindfuck, and masturbation
Summary: Cruciatus is Bellatrix' favourite curse
Author's Notes: Your request of "bloodplay", dear Clementine, did funny things to my brain. This is the result. I hope it's not too gross for your taste.
Also, bonus points to anyone who spots the literary reference.

The Master and Bellatrix
Title: Through the Looking-Glass
Author: Donna Immaculata
Pairing: Lucius and, technically, his hand. Mentions of Lucius/Bellatrix and Lucius/Narcissa
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters mentioned in this fic
Warnings: voyeurism, naked house-elf, abuse of an inanimate object (i.e. Lucius' cane)
Summary: Lucius Malfoy visits his fiancee and looks in the mirror
A/N: Writen as answer to the challenge "Lucius/Kreacher, creepy voyeurism" for the second wave of the HP Squick Fuh-Q Fest. Many thanks to ellensmithee who has been an invaluable help as beta.

Through the Looking-Glass
My second (and last) Squickfest submission is up, and it's Mary Sue/Ron's feet.

No graphic sex this time, nor too much graphic foot action, but it's got Mary Sue in all her glory, including name, hair, past, powers, and... a Dark Secret. Extra bonus: author's notes in the text and pop song lyrics.

And Ron's feet.

Come on, you know you want to.
Why stop when I'm having so much fun?

Having lurked around the [ profile] hpsquick100 community since it's coming into existance, I only managed to contribute drabbles myself when [ profile] villainny challenged me to write something I don't write. So apparently, I write things I don't write because by writing them I state I don't write them. What does it say about human nature? Or about my nature, in the first place?

Anyway, the drabbles are both Ron/Harry (but that's not the squicky part) and are somehow... realistic. And to be found here.
I wrote my Very First Drabble today. Posted on [ profile] hpsquick11 here.

It is not that particular form of sex play that meets the "I don't do..." challenge. Nor is it the non-con aspect.

But: He doesn't cry!
I believe I understand the way LJ tags work now, and will use my new knowledge for posting a smutty little PWP I wrote some weeks ago as a by-product of my Sirius/Bill slash for the BoozeFF

It features an adolescent Bill, Scabbers the Rat, and lots of Snape-centred wishful thinking. Read at your own risk.

Showerfantasy!Bill )



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