This is going to be used for one purpose only, and it's got nothing to do with speaking:

Isn't this the scariest thing you've ever seen?
Ban on women buying suggestively-shaped vegetables.

So apparently al-Qa'eda doesn't want women to buy cucumbers. And apparently, "Al-Qa'eda's very heavy-handed killing of civilians backfired on them. The Sunnis just wouldn't stand for it any more."

I feel forcefully reminded of Terry Pratchett's Monstrous Regiment and Nuggan's Abominations therein. To quote Pratchett: "So what we have here is a country that tries to run itself on the commandments of a god who, the people feel, may be wearing his underpants on his head."


Aug. 5th, 2010 11:43 am
[ profile] shocolate, you were not the last person to see it; I saw it even later than you!

And I liked it even less than you did.

Out of respect for everyone who liked it (Why?), I will restrain myself from sharing my thoughts on it, with the exception of one: I hate it with a passion of a thousand burning suns when the female character is given the part of the therapist/moral compass/nagging moraliser who goes on and on about how The Man who is Damaged and hence Allowed To Err has to stop lying/being obnoxious/being selfish/being drunk/breaking the rules/having sex without love OMG!/kicking puppies and to Do The Right Thing.

So, after introducing the female character as the most gifted architect of all time etc. etc., all they let her do is provide an opportunity for the hero to expose and explain the concept of the plot and moralise ad nauseam.

Plus, here's a neat definition of what makes a film good with regard to female characters:

- there's more than one female character
- who has a name
- the female characters interact with each other
- talking about something other than a man

In Inception? Not so much.

Joseph Gordon-Levitt helped me through it, though.

ETA: One thing I liked. Spoiler )
Apparently, some people find the noise pollution during the World Cup in South Africa annoying. I had to endure a radio interview with a pompous German guy who has launched an anti-vuvuzela petition on my way to work.

Guess what? For someone like me, who does not care about football one bit and who would even go so far as to say "dislike", this is what football always sounds like. Hundreds of people making a lot of noise. It really doesn't make a difference whether it's them shouting, chanting, rattling, whistling, vuvuzeling or throwing up under my bedroom window on their way back from a match.

My attitude is precisely what Germans coined the beautiful phrase "Schadenfreude" for.
Have any of you heard of the current plagiarism scandal in Germany? ([ profile] trobadora has, I assume?) Seeing as a blogger is involved, I thought it is relevant to our interests:

So, there's this edgy bestseller by the latest literary fräuleinwunder, Helene Hegemann, who's 17 and has written a novel about sex, drugs and Berlin's techno clubs. The novel was celebrated by everyone and their mother, until it came to light that the author had copied entire passages as well as very distinctive neologisms ("Vaselintitten", "Technoplastizität") verbatim from a blogger, who's been publishing excerpts from his novel on his blog:

So far, so appalling. The girl is 17, was 16 when she wrote "her" novel, so perhaps - very perhaps - one might accept her apology and trust that she wasn't aware what she was doing. Assuming she were a very thick 17-year-old.

But: Now that all this came to light, not only doesn't she show any remorse but explains it all with "intertextuality" instead - others, too, justify this blatant act of plagiarism by handwaving it as "intertextuality". Because, you see, we should stop being so naive and we should abandon our old-fashioned ideas of authors creating "original" and "unique" material. Everyone, even the greatest in literature, have been using other people's ideas when writing their novels or poems. What is Thomas Mann's "Zauberberg" if not a copy of Goethe's "Faust"? And even before literature had become a widely spread form of art, back in the days when oral tradition was the established mode of distributing stories - everything was in the public domain anyway, and nobody got upset that their name wasn't attached to the story they had created. (Yes, this is an actual argument I've heard in this debate. The mind, it boggles.) So the author should suck it up already.

I feel I should read up more on the debate, because I misremember the definition of "intertextuality" that has been used to justify this plagiarism, but I just don't have the strength of mind necessary to wade though that crap.

Die Süddeutsche Zeitung has a short interview with a blogger who noticed the striking resemblance between the rip-off and the original. Excerpts:

"It's not only individual words, but also slightly re-phrased sentences and passages, as I realised when comparing the two."

"The novel ends with a letter written to the protagonist by his dead mother. Here, Helene Hegemann has obviously used the lyrics of Fuck You by the band Archive, has perhaps changed one or two words before using it, but without indicating the quote."
So, I've finally managed to get hold of episode one and watch it, and...


We all read fics like that: smart-sassy-spunky modern grrrrl has an "accident" and wakes up in a fantasy world she's read a lot about/seen a movie about, meets the Hero, who's very rude but also very compelling, he insults, she sasses back, she knows what's going on, because she's watched the Lord of the Rings movies watched the Harry Potter movies watched the Pirates of the Caribbean movies read Sam Tyler's report a hundred times, they fight, they not-quite kiss, he's "taller than she expected" and she's "got curves in all the right places", and jokes, characters and scenarios from the original show are merrily recycled.

There even was bloody exposition about how the missus has left Gene. Do the authors know no shame?

I bet there will be hurt/comfort soon - the proper kind, with the one party wiping the other party's sweaty brow. Around episode four.

The cheesy 80s look doesn't exactly help.
Do any of you read [ profile] weepingcock? If not, you totally should. It's highly educational. Today, for example, I learned that a) there is a Rammstein fandom (which shouldn't have surprised me, and yet it did) and b) that, apparently, it's filled with fluffy fics in which the Rammstein guys cry a lot.

What is the world coming to?

It's Rammstein. They sing about eating people out of jealousy and about men raping their daughters and about getting off on whipping "white flesh" into bloody shreds. They sing about sick pervy stuff. They should be awarded with sick pervy fics with lots and lots of fetishes and bloodplay and suchlike.

I am shocked.
So, I went online, looking for religion-related sites. And then I found this:

"Fundies Say the Darndest Things!"


"Sorry, but as a hearty Christian, I care a whole lot about where you're putting your genitals. I just want so badly for you to put your penis inside of a virginal vagina."

"I have a question. What if I masturbated to the mental imagery of someone being converted to christianity. There would be nothing sexual involved in the thoughts that would be taking place. It might take me longer to finish but yeah, what if that was the case?"

"Just wait till the United States becomes a CHRISTIAN nation again. We will get rid of public schools, put kids back in church schools the way it was at thye beggining of our nation. Abortion, Homosexuality,new-age mumbo jumbo, False Religions such as Mormons, Jehovahs witnesses, Catholics, Jews, Kawanza, Halloween, Satanic Music, will be all abolished when this nation once again becomes a Christian nation as it was intended."

"But God don't talk in Arabic. He talks in a REAL language, namely, English. It's true that back in them days He translated that to some other language after Speaking it in English, but after all, it's His universe and He can do what He doggone well wants to do."

"A person who sold a slave did not make God sick like watching two men do it." - Strangely, according to the Bible, this is probably true.

"I'm tired of hearing all of this debate of homosexuality. Why is it even debateable? These people are abominations in the eyes of the Lord; they could change their ways but choose not to. There's no arguement, that's just how it is. We should burn the gays at the stake, it worked in the Inquisition...I don't see any witches around anymore (real witches, not those hippy wiccan imitation witches)."

"I honestly don't care about your rights. If it were up to me, all Atheists would be burnt at the stake and or cast into a river with weights tied to their ankles and or placed before the firing squad, etc etc etc."

"Female circumcision is not barbaric. It is done for a reason, to keep the female pure. If only we adopted such practices here in the UK, then maybe women would be less inclined toward infidelity and therefore family values would still be an integral part of society."

"Don't ever compare heterosexual incest to homosexuality! Homosexuality is much worse because it involves two people with the same genitalia! At least incest can be traditional, and involve a man and a woman--a brother and a sister, Just like the children of Adam & Eve! So wonderful and pure of heart! God bless. "

"God's definition of "flat" is wholly different from ours. The world is flat in His eyes, but spherical in ours. This is simply because our eyes are tainted with sin and doubt."

I do like this one a lot:

"I appreciate your recommendation, and it is intriguing, but as a pro-lifer, I cannot support an organization that is opposed to the death penalty."

The above train of thought is explained thusly:


More fundies' pearls of wisdom [Or, as Eddie Izzard puts it: "There's pearls of wisdom and there's pearls of... nutcaseness."]

And an extra tip for a happy marriage:

"Hasten for intercourse when your husband feels compulsion for it."

And to throw in Terry Pratchett, as well: "Auditors were fascinated by religion, because so much that was done in its name didn't make any sense at all. Genocide, for example." (paraphrased)

ETA: The LEGO Bible. This is seriously funny:

Especially the sex stuff:

Check out the sheep!

And the Greatest Sin of All

Apparently, someone had dropped Teh Gay Bomb on Sodom & Gomorrha
Hm. The reason why I hardly post anymore is that I just can't get back into the swing of HP and haven't found any adequate replacement fandom yet. I do watch Doctor Who and do moderately lust (after a short-lived period of passionate, fully-fledged I-want-to-shag-him-NOW lusting) after David Tennant, but I just can't take this show seriously enough to discuss it. I've tried. I read other people's posts but hardly ever comment, as my brain refuses to come up with any meta. I'm not passionate enough about Doctor Who to form an opinion on anything, really. Episode hate eludes me, because I find them all equally enjoyable, in a fun, 45-minutes kiddie telly sort of way. Doctor Who is like a superficial fling with a hot-yet-emotionally-and-intellectually-unfulfilling boy after having just come out of a long and meaningful relationship with a mature and interesting adult. Trust me, I would know.

Anyway. I might just mention that I miss the HP fandom and mourn the death of my deep love for it. All wankiness aside (which, BTW, is quite easy to avoid; I've managed to keep out of any wank for some three years or so), the HP fandom is fun. And it's delightfully kinky, which is something that is regretably missing from Doctor Who - or any other fandom I've been toying with in the last few years, for that matter. Tell me if I'm wrong, because I am willing to learn, but is there any other fandom which is so shameless and so filthy as HP? I mean, we pair everyone with everything, as long as it's got a pulse. Or not.*

So, Doctor Who has all these possibilities, what with alien creatures of all descriptions which could be the basis for seriously kinky and totally pervy alien sex, and the time travel which could be the basis for hawt Doctor/Julius Caesar, Doctor/Barbara Cartland, Doctor/Casanova, Doctor/Henry VIII, Doctor/Calamity Jane, Doctor/Xantippe, Doctor/Immanuel Kant, Doctor/homo erectus porn, but, sadly, isn't. Instead, we get Ten making tender love to Rose *sighs*

Love and monsters made me realise this sad fact anew, because the predominant reaction to Elton/spoiler ) seems to be "ew, creepy". Personally, I love it. And it says something about the quality of the much-promoted main pairing that I prefer Elton/spoiler to Ten/Rose. No competition.

On another pairing note: Jackie/Mickey is now canon, isn't it? Now that we witnessed her in her behaviour towards yummy young men whom she uses as handymen?

And finally: Does Ten dress Rose's hair? Is this what the swivel chair by the TARDIS console is there for? Because is not that easy to braid your hair into an elaborate do yourself, you know.

*Shamelessly stealing other people's lines. Yep, that's me.
This does crack me up. Last night I asked people to share stories of the pervy games they used to play as children, and my expectations have been truly exceeded. Indulging in sexual experimentation with one's cousins at the age of eight is obviously the most natural thing in the world, as are spanking and torture. But what about Barbie BDSM brothels, bondage & ligature hog-tying, My Little Pony BDSM, nude acrobatics, Emperor rapists, Playboy photo shoots, decapitations, and transsexual spaceman-cum-Matron LEGO men? A child's mind is a scary, scary place...

I don't smoke, and I don't know my exact weight (more or less 110 pounds), but I can tell you, in a poor imitation of Bridget Jones, the drinks I had tonight: half a bottle of wine (white), one caipirinha, 5 vodka-with-lemon longdrinks. (If anyone wants to catch me on Y!M: I'm chatty, but very slow).

It's all [ profile] swatkat24's fault, really. She talked about Malory Towers in a recent post of hers, and I replied with (among other things): "Long before I knew about slash - even before I really knew about sex - I used to re-enact the stories together with my cousin, spicing them up with some raunchy pre-pubescent sex fantasies."

Pre-pubescent sex fantasies, then. There has been a lot of those. )

So, I'm curious. Is it just my friends who fooled around with those fantasies? Or does any of you have any skeletons in the closet? Tell me, I promise I won't be shocked.



September 2014



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