For fic-writing purposes, I need to learn as much as I can about everyday life in public schools in Edwardian England. Does anyone happen to have a link or a book recommendation handy? It would be most helpful and might result in porn.
I saw [ profile] bethbethbeth post hers, and so I thought, Why not? I've never done a bingo challenge before. So here's my first bingo card ever:

holidayfic indecent proposal au: historical bets / wagers chosen family
trapped in a dream marriage road trip sex pollen bodyswap
forbidden fruit mind control FREE

rites of passage / coming of age in vino veritas / drunkfic
metafiction locked in role reversal soul bonding / soulmates telepathy / mindmeld
friends to lovers / friends with benefits language and translation au: college / highschool trust and vows wingfic

Thank god I can do them all. I've never done wingfic before (or read one, for that matter), but because I like a challenge, I did not ask to exclude anything, even though I did briefly consider excluding wingfic. Or mpreg.

Let's see how it goes!
Dear fanfic writers,

Do you ever stumble across a piece of writing in your draft folder that you had completely forgotten and that amuses you when you discover it after all those years? I saw the other day that, back in 2006, I had written a Slobodan Milosevic*/Harry Potter crossover:

"Whatever happened to Slobodan Milosevic? Mystery crack

Milosevic is dead and on his way to larger-than-life martyrdom. There's nothing like being a criminal - alleged or convicted - and dying under mysterious circumstances to become a martyr. Rumour will have it that he's been poisoned by corrupt Dutch authorities. According to my latest information (radio, half an hour ago), his death was caused by anti-leprosy and anti-tuberculosis drugs which counteracted the effects of his heart medication. However, considering all facts, I can't help but see some parallels and notice some evidence that points firmly into a different direction. South-Eastern Europe? Connection to Kosovo-Albanians? A mother's untimely death? High-security prison? Where have I read all this before?

Let's have a look at this letter exchange:

July 1995

Dear Master-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named,

Contrary to all the rumours that might reach you, I have not resigned my strategic position by the side of H. P. because of the threats uttered against me by the escaped convict Black. I have resigned it, because rumours of much more worrying matter has finally made it to Hogwarts: apparently, the region in which you are currently residing is under attack. A maniac who thinks himself fit to challenge the Greatest Wizard of All Times (yourself, Master) is on the war path and attempts to destroy all and everything around him. Including yourself.

I know of course that such rumours are greatly exaggerated, but I have nevertheless decided that I would be of more use at your side than skulking around the Weasley boy's bed. I have therefore set off and am on my way.


P. Pettigrew

PS. I'm not sending this letter by owl but by wren, as in your present condition an owl might accidentally eat you.

a gust 1995

to: fithfl sssservnt in spe, baartmussss cruoch

havnig hard of ur latst misfortunessss, i hve deciedd to grant u the graet honor of freeng u frmo teh unwrthy cnditoin u hav ben ssssufffring undr. 4 furthr detials rfer to my obdinte sssrvant p.pttetigrw

ur master (exsss & in sssspe)

Lrd vald e mart

ps. plz x-cuse, hloding qill wehn disssmbodeid fuking hard. LOL!!!11

November 1995

Dear Barty,

I have received the order to inform you that your father is cracking under the strain put upon him by our beloved Master. He spends his evening hours sitting in what I have come to understand was your mother's favourite chair and reliving the story of your escape from Azkaban over and over again. Did you know your mother got the idea of impersonating you from an old school friend from Durmstrang? Apparently, that Mrs. Miloshevich (sp?) faked her own death by hanging, and spent the last 30 years alternately impersonating her son and whispering advice in his ear. It was she who infused him with such hatred against our Master. He has now sent out troops which roam the South-Easter-European forests and kill everything and everyone who looks "foreign" to them. How that Squib could have learned about our Master's whereabouts remains a mystery to me. But at least his trail is now cold. Mua ha ha!

Anyway, we decided it's for the best if your father took it easy from now on and are keeping him locked up in the basement.

Your friend and well-wisher,


*Serbian dictator and war criminal responsible for the Bosnian genocide during the Balkan war

I also drafted an idea for an obscure crossover challenge where I brought Emma Woodhouse and Eminem together. (Unsurprisingly, Eminem was introduced to Emma by Mr Frank Churchill. Mr Knightley was not pleased):

Snippet )

So, do you have any weird ficlets lying around that will never see the light of day? Do share!
Whee! I've reached 20,000 words on my Big Bang Blackout fic! It's not finished yet, but at least I can be reasonably confident that I'll meet the deadline next month.

[ profile] ithurtsmybrain issued that challenge that affected my brain badly indeed, and so I started writing an Emma Woodhouse/Eminem fic. I intended it to be a shortish ficlet and to post it straightaway, but it didn't quite work out. Now I'm stuck between giving it up entirely, leaving it short, or taking the story somewhere.

Would any of you like to read it through and advise me to give it up what to do? It's an attempt at the Austen style. I'm agonising about Eminem, because I totally don't know what the man sounds like when not rapping, and I can't have him contribute song lyrics alone even though it's fun. Does anyone know which phrases he uses, apart from "like"?

Here's how it begins )

Apart from that I'm well. No permanent brain damage done yet. Drowning in work at the moment and owing comments aplenty. I will get down to it asap, I promise.
We're all familiar with the problem: the basic idea is there, it only needs to be wrapped in words. And as [ profile] tartanshell pointed out so rightly, this is often difficult or bording on impossible. Even if you manage to write down your brilliant ideas, they seem bland and stupid as soon as you see them on paper, and words turn out to not be your friend.

So what about your own writing keeps you going? I don't mean stuff like the craving for feedback, or impeding deadlines or the fact that you promised someone a fic. Obviously, we write because we enjoy writing. And I'd like to know what is it that you, dear authors, like about your own fics and how you go on about creating them. I'm particularly interested in your writing processes. Do you have a plot all worked out and write down concepts, or do you write instinctively? I know [ profile] maeglinyedi once said that she's always got the last sentence of the fic ready before she starts writing, which I find quite impressive, as the last sentence is what I almost always struggle with a lot.

As to me, I think that I'm a very dialogue-based author. I often have dialogue snippets ready long before the fic, I enjoy writing dialogues and dialogues are also what I feel most confident about - as opposed to introspections and descriptions, my feeling for which is rather wobbly. The final dialogue between Remus and Bill in Genesis, for example, was written in one of the first stages of the process. Because I tend to focus on dialogues, I often have a) no plot to speak of and b) my characters drink ridiculous amounts of water so that I can intersperse the dialogue with pretences of action - as illustrated in the aforementioned cock and tongue talk )

So, my fics aren't plotty, my characters are wordy (which doesn't mean that they actually communicate matters of importance!), and I even announced Panic as PWPBWLOD - Porn Without Plot But With Lots Of Dialogue.

But - to come back to my original question - I usually make the effort to create a framework around my dialogues, which is how I manage to continue writing. Because the dialogues are all there in my head and need to be let out.

They're talking to me.

Fic meme

Nov. 4th, 2004 06:22 pm
gacked from [ profile] fabu:

If you happen to be working on some creative writing project, fanfiction or NaNoWriMo or what have you, post exactly one sentence from each of your current work(s) in progress in your journal. It should probably be your favourite or most intriguing sentence so far, but what you choose is entirely your discretion. Mention the title (and genre) if you like, but don't mention anything else -- this is merely to whet the general appetite for your forthcoming work(s)...

I'm using the phrase "working" very loosely, okay? Because I'm not actually working on them, not as such. They're sitting patiently on my hard disc, waiting for my return.

OuaTiM )


Harry Potter I )


Harry Potter II )

  • Finish the Remix/Redux fic

  • Finish the CCC fic

  • Write the sex scene of the Remus/Bill fic and have the damn thing posted already

  • Write the "I like Sirius Black" essay

  • Write the "Interpretation, Subjectivity and the Definition of Attributes" essay

  • Write the "The Disfunctionality of MWPP" essay

  • Start on the MWPP Fuh-Q Fest fic

  • Start on the Squickfest fic

  • Work on the island Snack

  • Work on the "Lupin with his hands tied behind his back" fic

But sitting in the sun is nice, too. Should I get an ice cream and share it with the Cat, I wonder?

Oh, and, [ profile] ellensmithee, if you got my card (which I hope you did), you already know how delighted I was on receiving your parcel. But what you don't know is that, after watching the first few episodes, I had the most amazing, graphic, NC-17-rated Remus-centred dream (which I won't elaborate). But it took place on a table. The amazing thing? It was with you Remus was on that table. And I had the great pleasure of witnessing it all from your point of view. So thank you very much indeed. That was really, really nice of you.
I've just come back from a one week's absence and, on catching up with my flist, was more than happy to realise that the deadline for CCC was extended. Whee! See, when I started writing my fic, I made the huge mistake of not having re-read Tom Sawyer beforehand in total. I was re-reading it gradually as I proceeded and when I came to the graveyard episode, which is somewhat of a turning point in the novel, I came across a character called Potter. Muff Potter. I had completely forgotten the man's name, and of course I had to use it in my adaptation. Muff Potter's part had to be assumed by the Potterverse's Potter. Which introduced a rather unexpected twist into the story - because of what Muff Potter does and how Tom and Huck get involved. Tom's player in my version is hardly a young and easily intimidated boy, and I needed a Very Good Explanation to make his behaviour parallel that of Tom. It took me one hour to work it all out (work out the basic concept, mind, not write the bloody scene), but now it's all settled and I am rather proud. *is very pleased with her own cleverness* There is a serious plot hole in the concept, but since it is explained away by Dumbledore, I found it was very much IC and very, well, canonical.

Anyway, I had hardly dared hope I could finish it by Monday, let alone have it beta-read. Now, all is well.

The second Whee! is because: My Snack is back!

Some of you might remember me whining about having lost my Snape/Black-on-a-tropical-island fic a few months ago. Yesterday, I found a copy on a floppy disk. Whee!

Because I am in a happy mood, I give you an excerpt from the tropical island adventure. It was written as a response to the challenge "During late night explorations of the castle, Snape discovers a secret door. He ends up on a tropical island and finds Sirius Black asleep on the beach" and is completely and utterly unrevised and unbeta'd.

Read more... )

Back to catching up with flist.
I am re-reading Tom Sawyer for [ profile] scribbulus_ink's Classic Canon Challenge. "Finally, Tom said: 'I can lick you.' [...] 'I dare you to step over that, and I'll lick you till you can't stand up.'"

I so want to include it in my fic. I really do.

Before I can do that, however, I want to finish my Remus/Bill fic. I popped into my head all finished, structure, title and such, and all I need to do is write it down. Doing quite well, too; the rough draft is written, all that's left is the porn bit. I am not, as yet, sure whether I should make that bit really, really elaborate or not. I was planning on going into detail. Should I change my mind, I wonder?

Bill is not amused, though. I wrote the, ah, climactic dialogue two nights ago and realised that I had Bill go through all this before, when I paired him up with Sirius. He is rather tired of having to shag emotionally repressed men who don't see his worth. Oh well.

Random thoughts on Remus and Bill. And Remus/Bill. )


Feb. 9th, 2004 03:04 pm
[ profile] scribbulus_ink is setting up a challenge that proves interesting for all those who are even remotely interested in classic literature. I tried to resist temptation for, oh, like two minutes, and then thought, screw it all, who needs a life anyway, I'm in for the fun.

Like I'm sure most of you know, it's all about the adaptation of a piece of classic literature using HP characters. My first choice was Jane Austen: writing Emma Harry Potter style surely has a huge entertainment value. The cast is obvious: Hermione as Emma, with Ron as Harriet and Harry as Mr. Knightley. Brilliant. The minor characters require some thought (Pansy as Mrs. Elton is a bit too cliché), but that's managable. But: I'm not so much interested in writing about Harry's generation. I want adult players.

Sense and Sensibility then. Even more obvious: Alan Rickman, er, I mean Col. Brandon is Snape. Remus is Edward and Sirius is Willoughby. Plain as could be. But, there are no matching female characters. Remus/Hermione shippers could easily cast Hermione as Elinor, but I'm not one of them, and I don't even like Hermione very much. Minerva would be great (and I like to ship her with Remus anyway), but she has to be close to the other female character. And I'm not entirely convinced Snape could seriously pine after Trelawney...

No Jane Austen for me, then. And then it hit me: Tom Sawyer.

Before I had done laughing at the initial idea, my mind had already supplied Tom's cast (I'm not telling!) and I was laughing even harder when I realised how perfect the setting was. Only problem: the season. Tom Sawyer is set in the summer, and I don't want to change that, because the whole novel has such a summery feel to it. It will require some thought on how to twist it to make it fit.

As soon as Tom was settled, Huck Finn made himself oh so obvious, as well. At this point, I was fully satisified and decided to go to bed. However, my mind had even more in store for me and kept supplying the remaining cast (Sid! Oh, Sid is perfect.) as well as plot details (the graveyard episode, the trial, the treasure hunt...), and I know exactly how to introduce the novel to the wizarding world. It just makes so much sense.

Extra bonus: I will have to re-read the book. Haven't done it in ages.
I love my car. I love driving. My mind wanders freely and comes up with interesting ideas of all sorts. Ideas for new fics, for example. Last night, a perfect little scenario - inspired by a film I watched before - for Snape/Harry sprang to mind. Perfect, I thought, as soon as I'll arrive, I will write it down in a nice little ficlet that it promises to be. Unfortunately, the scenario wasn't entirely suited for Snape, who morphed into Lupin midway. And now I'm stuck: I really want to write the fic, but it starts out as Snarry and turns into Larry. I could change it, of course, but I'm very pleased with the dialogues as they are. What now? Write it nevertheless, cheerfully ignoring the fact that Snape behaves like Lupin? Include both, Snape and Lupin? Write two versions, one with Snape and one with Lupin?

My resolution to write more pointless smut somehow got out of hand. I honestly intended to write a short NC-17-rated Snape/Lupin featuring a silly Plot Device the sole purpose of which was to make them fuck, plus some blood, some violence, and lots of sex.

What I've got now is still the Plot Device, for which, however, I spent one hour researching on the Internet because I wanted to have some approximately accurate data, there's still blood, and violence, and some not-quite-beastiality - but they also insisted of having a talk afterwards. A long talk. God, these guys are such girls.

It's twenty pages long now and it ends on a fluffy note *facepalms* I blame the Christmas spirit.

So, is there any kind soul out there who'd like to beta it for me? I shall be ever so grateful and repay the beta in every way possible. I need a basic spelling/grammar/phrasing check, because I don't think I will change the, for lack of a better word, plot.

I also finished my SquickFest fic and need a beta for that one, too. *feels exceedingly greedy* I'm not asking my regular beta, because she's on her well-deserved holiday (Merry belated Christmas to you, Babycakes!), and because I don't want to afflict the SquickFest fic on an unsuspecting beta reader. It features hot shower action with Albus and Argus. Graphic shower action. NC-17-rated graphic shower action. With Dumbledore and Filch. With descriptions of Dumbledore's old-man penis. Very graphic descriptions of Dumbledore's penis. (Are you still with me,[ profile] soawen?)

But, oh, James and Sirius and Remus and Peter are in it, too. If that's any encouragement.
On reading [ profile] isiscolo's not-quite-slashy fic here, it occurred to me that the main area of application for the Invisibility Cloak is to spy on other people having sex and wank in the process. (Unless you're Peter, in which case it is used for kitchen raids.)

Nothing wrong with it, of course. But as the cloak is to be kept secret, Harry's not very likely to have it laundered. And as Harry doesn't strike me as the type to do the necessary washing himself, it leads to one conclusion: The Invisibility Cloak reeks of cum. It is soaked with the sperm of members of at least two generations (plus food and drink spillt by clumsy Peter during his kitchen sessions). It doesn't float gently, enveloping the wearer's form, it is stiff with dried semen and creaks eerily when bent.

In Discworld news: I adore the way [ profile] soawen's brain works. Commenting on my Snupin drabble for [ profile] villainny, she came up with the perfect partner for Death: BorrowingBinky!Granny. I was laughing for five minutes straight, and giggling happily for some fifteen minutes longer. Now, this opens wholly new possiblities for Slut!Granny, getting it on with all possible (and impossible) animals in Lancre. Including Borrowing Greebo while he pleasures Nanny.

Can you tell how much I'm looking forward to [ profile] dwsquick100?

In Very Sad News: The two longish fics I have been writing, the Snape/Black on tropical island and the Snape/Lupin featuring Lupin with his hands tied behind his back, are gone. Well, not exactly gone, not as such. Merely inaccessible. I had my brother replace my old hard disk with a new one and burned all my Word files on CD to be copied to the new disk. And guess what? The computer refuses to open any of the files on the CD. I am at a loss, and even my brother, who's really smart with computers and who's installed the burner and software, is unable to tell me how to fix it. I am lucky, I guess, that it wasn't important files like work or uni stuff, but still. I want my Snack back.
The Snape/Black fic isn't going all too well. I had to delete a couple of sentences, simply because Sirius refuses to act like himself. He acts like Remus, and it pisses me off. Instead of snarling and growling at Snape (who is surprisingly subdued), he is all patient politeness. Well, not all, but still. Some patient politeness.

It doesn't help that the Snape/Lupin fic is taking shape, and I'd rather be writing them, but alas! The deadline for Snape/Black was, um, like two days ago, and I really shouldn't abuse the leeway I was given there.

And all this pain only because the sentence "Lupin could outspy them both with his hands tied behind his back" set the vicious bunny loose, which is now running around like there's no tomorrow.

Yes, I'm looking at you, [ profile] skylark97
No, honestly. Every time I forget to empty the rubbish bin before leaving for a long weekend (like, a Thursday to Tuesday weekend; or a Wednesday there-is-a-weekend-inbetween to Wednesday weekend) weather turns gloriously hot, thus influencing the contents of said rubbish bin in a rather unpleasant manner.

I've spent more or less the whole of the last five weeks being absent from home, neglecting work, life, and you. Babycakes, you're going to Vancouver? Grand! Stay in touch, hon :-)

[ profile] isiscolo - Many Happy Returns of the Day. (Of course, when you read this, your birthday's long gone, but there you go. Time zone problem.) Having just re-read Winnie-the-Pooh, let me use Eeyore's words to wish you lots of "Gaiety. Song-and-dance", and most importantly, "Here we go round the mulberry bush."

In other news: My Snape-enters-a-secret-door-at-Hogwarts-and-finds-Sirius-asleep-on-the-beach challenge fic is taking shape. Unfortunately, I wrote it on my Dad's computer when visiting my parents and, um, left it on his hard disk. I don't think I can ask my parents to send it. I don't dare.

My journal says I'm 65% masculine.
What does your LJ writing style say about your gender?
LJ Gender Tool by [ profile] hutta
God! I've just finished filling out the most tedious forms ever. It's not that I think people shouldn't pay taxes. It's only that the entire tax declaration process is the most annoying waste of time I've ever gone through. The tax office's kept refusing to accept my forms for months now, and I'm refusing to spend a lot of money on a tax consultant just because he/she has an official stamp and is therefore respected.

So, my RL challenge for this year: Manage to make a tax declaration they'll accept. (It doesn't help that the Futurama episode in which Hermes Conrad is fired by Morgan Proctor and has to apply to get his job back at the Central Bureaucracy was on TV the other day. I think there's more truth to it than we realise.)

In other (and happier) news: I received my Snape/Black Fuh-Q Fest challenge: "During nighttime exploration of the castle, Severus discovers a door that leads to a tropical island. He also finds Sirius, asleep on the beach."

Definitely more fun than the RL one. Although Snape would probably disagree. Somehow, I don't think he particularly enjoys tropical islands. Especially if they happen to contain Sirius Black.
The way I spent last weekend might be a good hint as to what my priorities are: In spite of all this important work awaiting me on my desk (and my computer), I drove 350 kilometers to get to a party on Saturday and drove all the way back home on Sunday, where I decided that I was too tired to do anything in the evening, anyway, and postponed it until today. Now there are still things left to be finished before I'll leave for England on Thursday. Tedious, annoying things such as writing three pages of company profiles for work, starting working on the film reviews and actor profiles for the other work, filling in boring forms for the tax office (who's been perstering me for ages now, because apparently I always get things wrong), and preparing for an important meeting on Wednesday. But seeing as I've got my priorities right, I will instead:

a) add LJ users to my list of friends (so if you suddenly find yourself on the list, it's most likely because I enjoy your HP slash)

b) start editing my Snape/Black fic

c) sketch an outline for my Tonks/Ginny fic and my Buckbeak/Padfoot fic (the latter one started me worrying about my sanity, but still, I feel compelled to write it)

d) post my Remus/Minerva fic:

I couldn't resist bringing my favourite male and my favourite female character together, if only for a short while. From Poppy's PoV. Part I )
Taking up the thread I posted 10 minutes ago: I'm also confused about why I'm seemingly unable to write nice, fluffy, comfy sex and instead force my characters (well, not my characters; JKR's characters) to endure situations I describe using phrases such as "awkward", and "somehow scary", and "vaguely uncomfortable", and "'Get off. I can't breathe.'" OK, I like realism. But does clumsy sex automatically imply realism?

(Memo to self: sketch draft for clumsy Tonks/Ginny slash) (Easy. Considering how unexperienced I am at writing femmeslash it can only turn out clumsy.)
It took me ages, but five minutes ago, I finally completed my challenge fic for the Severus Snape FQF! Considering the fact that it is a response to a three-word challenge and I wrote a total of 12,700 words or 60,200 characters, it makes me question the whole point of it. But there you go, stupid men didn't want to get off with each other sooner. They spent twenty pages preparing the ground and five pages shagging each other silly. Was this necessary, I wonder? And: I never knew I had this frightening affinity towards the whole animal-looks-on-thing. Frankly, it confuses me.

So the only tasks left before the fic is presentable are:

a) checking the German-English dictionary for words the English meaning of which I didn't know
b) checking the Thesaurus for synonyms of words I used more than five times each (slide, glide, shift, smooth (vb), ...)
c) getting rid of awful grammar mistakes
d) getting rid of awful redundancies
e) checking character and plot development
f) sending the fic off for betaing

All this preferably before next Thursday.



September 2014



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