I was considering playing around with Dudley's name, too, (a woman who calls her son 'Duddy' and 'Dinky Duddydums' is capable of most horrible expressions) but then I realised something that bugs me: The way I see Petunia, she is not likely to use cute names for the... thing. That... thing is something dirty, which shouldn't be mentioned at all, and if it is, it must be absolutely clear how filthy and thoroughly unmentionable it is.

I must say, I am extremely, ah, "pleased" with the way my brain blows minor questions out of proportion. *beats brain to death with a stick*