I'm not entirely joking. I saw a fic where both Harry and Draco were both cutters and Draco committed suicide because he was gay, and Harry did have sex with his dead body, which revived him. I finished it because it was hilarious, though the author obviously wasn't intending it to be so. Evanescence lyrics were featured.

If you want to see the most horrible fics sporked, visit deu_sex_machina. They rock, and their MSTs crack me up.

Heh, I'm not sure why you thought about me an CSI, but I'm flattered. I've always wanted to be on television. ;D