Question to native speakers, preferably Brits

[donnaimmaculata]

I wrote a Dudley/Aunt Marge fic last night. Before you run off, screaming with disgust: It's only PG-13. No graphic action. After all, Dudley is only ten.

And that brings me to my question: How would a 10-years-old Dudley Dursley refer to his penis? I bet Petunia and Vernon are not very articulate on the subject of sex, and I've no idea how advanced sex ed classes are at a school Dudley is likely to go to. How much is he likely to know on the matter of sex? And how would he refer to breasts?

Yes, I'm taking the project seriously.

ETA: Just because it amuses me: I've just consulted my slang dictionary and found a plethora of slang expressions and euphemisms for 'penis' from throughout the ages: red-cap (Lupin's DADA lessons appear in an entirely different light), dribbling dart of love, lamp of life, flip-flap, marrow-bone-and-cleaver, nooney, lucy, tantrum (rather appropriate for Dudley), thingamabob, yum-yum, dork (adds a whole lot of new implications to 'mood: dorky'), husbandman of nature, gentle-tittler,...

Comments

[donnaimmaculata.livejournal.com]

I always assumed that 'dick' was more American and 'cock' more British. 'Dick' also sounds ruder to me for some reason.

I wasn't sure whether there is another word for 'tits' that children are more likely to use. So thanks a lot for confirming 'tits'.

[isiscolo.livejournal.com]

No, I think it cuts across country. Cock is a more adult word, prick more vulgar, dick more vulgar yet.

[donnaimmaculata.livejournal.com]

Ah, thank you. That clarifies a lot.

There's probably a whole lot of expressions I don't use because I think they're American. - Not that I'm against using American English, but I'm trying to stick to one version as much as possible. And I'm using BE in my job.