Question to native speakers, preferably Brits

[donnaimmaculata]

I wrote a Dudley/Aunt Marge fic last night. Before you run off, screaming with disgust: It's only PG-13. No graphic action. After all, Dudley is only ten.

And that brings me to my question: How would a 10-years-old Dudley Dursley refer to his penis? I bet Petunia and Vernon are not very articulate on the subject of sex, and I've no idea how advanced sex ed classes are at a school Dudley is likely to go to. How much is he likely to know on the matter of sex? And how would he refer to breasts?

Yes, I'm taking the project seriously.

ETA: Just because it amuses me: I've just consulted my slang dictionary and found a plethora of slang expressions and euphemisms for 'penis' from throughout the ages: red-cap (Lupin's DADA lessons appear in an entirely different light), dribbling dart of love, lamp of life, flip-flap, marrow-bone-and-cleaver, nooney, lucy, tantrum (rather appropriate for Dudley), thingamabob, yum-yum, dork (adds a whole lot of new implications to 'mood: dorky'), husbandman of nature, gentle-tittler,...

Comments

[isiscolo.livejournal.com]

I'm not a Brit, but I was actually having this conversation with someone else the other night (not a native speaker) and we decided that "dick" and maybe "prick" would be "rude children's words".

And breasts would be "tits", I think.

[fluffyllama.livejournal.com]

Pretty close actually I think, based on being wicked stepmother to an 11 year old and having two younger brothers. I've never heard anyone that age use 'prick' though, not ever. 'Dick' would be for being crude (to your friends, maybe in his own mind - little boys are *very* fond of that word!), and 'willy' for being more coy / talking to parents probably. I could see Petunia making up some god awful word though to avoid Dudley using anything remotely rude *g*

[donnaimmaculata.livejournal.com]

Thanks a lot for your thorough linguistic analysis *g* I used both 'willy' and 'cock' in the draft, as Dudley makes a difference between the words depending on the situations he uses them in. I swap 'cock' for 'dick' then, eh?

I could see Petunia making up some god awful word though to avoid Dudley using anything remotely rude

That's an excellent idea, actually, as it reflects exactly what I'm trying to express.

Gotta give it some thought.

[fluffyllama.livejournal.com]

I swap 'cock' for 'dick' then, eh?

Yeah, I think I would. 'Cock' tends to be an older teenager word.
I just did a quick survey of those nearest me in the office (got to take advantage of working with over 100 blokes, right?) and they broadly agree. One has a mum that only allowed him to say 'little soldier' - I am trying not to giggle ;-)

[donnaimmaculata.livejournal.com]

Sounds like a good office to work at. I know people who couldn't ask their co-workers for expressions for genitals without receiving funny looks.

One has a mum that only allowed him to say 'little soldier'

*splutters tea over keyboard*

Though I thought more of some entirely made-up word. You know, like - my brother used to refer to his as 'lelo' when he was about three or four. (Sorry if this is more information you ever wanted to have about my family *g*)

[fluffyllama.livejournal.com]

Hee yes. That's the joy of working in a creative place with people mostly younger than me - half of it is decorated to look like a cross between Hawaii and a pirate ship at the moment.

I don't think they ever reallygrow out of it if they do that - someone supplied the name 'Mr Wiggly' today as well without the slightest hint of shame ;-)

[donnaimmaculata.livejournal.com]

Mr. Wiggly had me break down laughing. Brilliant.

I've just asked my (British) boyfriend - though without telling him what I need it for - and he supplied 'winkle' and 'toolie'. I must say, it all amuses me greatly.

*feels very infantile*

[donnaimmaculata.livejournal.com]

I always assumed that 'dick' was more American and 'cock' more British. 'Dick' also sounds ruder to me for some reason.

I wasn't sure whether there is another word for 'tits' that children are more likely to use. So thanks a lot for confirming 'tits'.

[isiscolo.livejournal.com]

No, I think it cuts across country. Cock is a more adult word, prick more vulgar, dick more vulgar yet.

[donnaimmaculata.livejournal.com]

Ah, thank you. That clarifies a lot.

There's probably a whole lot of expressions I don't use because I think they're American. - Not that I'm against using American English, but I'm trying to stick to one version as much as possible. And I'm using BE in my job.

[frankie-lee.livejournal.com]

Possibly as "wee-wee" for his own "tummy banana" and "boobies" for Petunia's "tits." Frankly, I doubt that at ten Dudley would have been through anything resembling sex-ed at school, if only because I can't see his parents signing the permision form.

BTW, here is a website that will undoubtledly help you with some Brit-speak (http://www.peevish.co.uk/slang/).

[donnaimmaculata.livejournal.com]

tummy banana

Oh! My! God! I love it.

I only just realised that I've got no idea about how sex ed is handled in British schools. In Germany, it takes place in the third grade (for 8 and 9-year-olds) for the first time, and as far I remember, it is compulsatory. I assume that parents aren't so much as informed about it, because I think mine didn't know when it was taking place. I realise however that the British and American approach is very different.

Thanks for the link. That'll come in handy.

[isiscolo.livejournal.com]

Yes, the American approach is to ignore it and hope it goes away. For my generation (I'm 40) we had it in 7th grade (around 12 years old?) and we had to get permission from our parents.

[donnaimmaculata.livejournal.com]

Here, I think, parents have the option to not let their children participate in the lessons - at least in primary school - but it's really the exception rather than the rule. In secondary school, I am pretty sure most parents don't know about whether and when sex ed is taught.

[frankie-lee.livejournal.com]

as far I remember, it is compulsatory

That is so amazingly cool. I don't know how other states handle it (and know some painfully ignorant people in Illinois), but in Detroit, Michigan, fifth graders (10 and 11-year-olds) are given an afternoon run down on the "changes they're going through." However, only kids whose parents signed the permission form were in on the discussion. A few were sent to the library instead. After that, I think the next time anything came up was in high school biology, and again, that involved permision forms.

Oddly enough, the best sex-ed class I was subjected to was the one held at my parents' church. Two days of mortified 11 to 13-year-old kids having everything they ever wanted to know (as well as an awful lot we didn't) about human anatomy, sex, contraception, pregnancy, diseases and the lot explained in great detail. We even had to prove we took notes.

[donnaimmaculata.livejournal.com]

On second thought - I might be wrong about the 'compulsatory'. It is quite probable that parents are allowed to not let their children participate. I'm thinking especially of religious fundamentalists, who don't want their kids to have anything to do with sex education. But in any case, this is the exception rather than the rule.

In secondary school, we had sex ed classes at least twice, because I remember two different teachers. The first time was in the fifth or sixth grade and was more or less the repetition of basic anatomy facts. At the age of 15 or 16, we received more thorough lessons, focusing on contraception, pregnancy and sexual diseases. I remember our teacher saying at some point, 'Please pay attention now. I don't want you to complain in cases of unwanted pregnancy that your biology teacher didn't explain it well enough.'

as well as an awful lot we didn't

*g* Ah yes, I can see that. Matters of sexual education are probably horribly stressful for both, educators and children.

[frankie-lee.livejournal.com]

Sorry-- one more for you-- TONK, TONKER, TO TONK-- penis/someone who likes sex.

Puts our lovely Nymphadora (nympho?) in a whole new light, don't it. LOL!!

[donnaimmaculata.livejournal.com]

LOL Between Nymphadora Tonks, red-caps, and the twins 'keeping their peckers up', I don't know how the books dodged the NC-17 rating.

[frankie-lee.livejournal.com]

LOL!! Plus Ron's smart-ass remark, "Can I see Uranus?" This just clinches it. The books are definitely written on two levels. =P

JKR is one sneaky lady. Just like the Disney animators who draw naughty things into a couple of cells just to see if anyone is paying attention. BTW, I've heard people speculating that she named Tonks the way she did on account of all the fan-fic.

[donnaimmaculata.livejournal.com]

Well, Tonks does seem a bit like a fanfic heroine, what with the shapeshifting and the anime hair. I'd be very impressed if she was JKR's answer to fanfiction.

[donnaimmaculata.livejournal.com]

I was considering playing around with Dudley's name, too, (a woman who calls her son 'Duddy' and 'Dinky Duddydums' is capable of most horrible expressions) but then I realised something that bugs me: The way I see Petunia, she is not likely to use cute names for the... thing. That... thing is something dirty, which shouldn't be mentioned at all, and if it is, it must be absolutely clear how filthy and thoroughly unmentionable it is.

I must say, I am extremely, ah, "pleased" with the way my brain blows minor questions out of proportion. *beats brain to death with a stick*