Question to native speakers, preferably Brits

[donnaimmaculata]

I wrote a Dudley/Aunt Marge fic last night. Before you run off, screaming with disgust: It's only PG-13. No graphic action. After all, Dudley is only ten.

And that brings me to my question: How would a 10-years-old Dudley Dursley refer to his penis? I bet Petunia and Vernon are not very articulate on the subject of sex, and I've no idea how advanced sex ed classes are at a school Dudley is likely to go to. How much is he likely to know on the matter of sex? And how would he refer to breasts?

Yes, I'm taking the project seriously.

ETA: Just because it amuses me: I've just consulted my slang dictionary and found a plethora of slang expressions and euphemisms for 'penis' from throughout the ages: red-cap (Lupin's DADA lessons appear in an entirely different light), dribbling dart of love, lamp of life, flip-flap, marrow-bone-and-cleaver, nooney, lucy, tantrum (rather appropriate for Dudley), thingamabob, yum-yum, dork (adds a whole lot of new implications to 'mood: dorky'), husbandman of nature, gentle-tittler,...

Comments

[fluffyllama.livejournal.com]

I swap 'cock' for 'dick' then, eh?

Yeah, I think I would. 'Cock' tends to be an older teenager word.
I just did a quick survey of those nearest me in the office (got to take advantage of working with over 100 blokes, right?) and they broadly agree. One has a mum that only allowed him to say 'little soldier' - I am trying not to giggle ;-)

[donnaimmaculata.livejournal.com]

Sounds like a good office to work at. I know people who couldn't ask their co-workers for expressions for genitals without receiving funny looks.

One has a mum that only allowed him to say 'little soldier'

*splutters tea over keyboard*

Though I thought more of some entirely made-up word. You know, like - my brother used to refer to his as 'lelo' when he was about three or four. (Sorry if this is more information you ever wanted to have about my family *g*)

[fluffyllama.livejournal.com]

Hee yes. That's the joy of working in a creative place with people mostly younger than me - half of it is decorated to look like a cross between Hawaii and a pirate ship at the moment.

I don't think they ever reallygrow out of it if they do that - someone supplied the name 'Mr Wiggly' today as well without the slightest hint of shame ;-)

[donnaimmaculata.livejournal.com]

Mr. Wiggly had me break down laughing. Brilliant.

I've just asked my (British) boyfriend - though without telling him what I need it for - and he supplied 'winkle' and 'toolie'. I must say, it all amuses me greatly.

*feels very infantile*