Question to native speakers, preferably Brits

[donnaimmaculata]

I wrote a Dudley/Aunt Marge fic last night. Before you run off, screaming with disgust: It's only PG-13. No graphic action. After all, Dudley is only ten.

And that brings me to my question: How would a 10-years-old Dudley Dursley refer to his penis? I bet Petunia and Vernon are not very articulate on the subject of sex, and I've no idea how advanced sex ed classes are at a school Dudley is likely to go to. How much is he likely to know on the matter of sex? And how would he refer to breasts?

Yes, I'm taking the project seriously.

ETA: Just because it amuses me: I've just consulted my slang dictionary and found a plethora of slang expressions and euphemisms for 'penis' from throughout the ages: red-cap (Lupin's DADA lessons appear in an entirely different light), dribbling dart of love, lamp of life, flip-flap, marrow-bone-and-cleaver, nooney, lucy, tantrum (rather appropriate for Dudley), thingamabob, yum-yum, dork (adds a whole lot of new implications to 'mood: dorky'), husbandman of nature, gentle-tittler,...

Comments

[donnaimmaculata.livejournal.com]

I was considering playing around with Dudley's name, too, (a woman who calls her son 'Duddy' and 'Dinky Duddydums' is capable of most horrible expressions) but then I realised something that bugs me: The way I see Petunia, she is not likely to use cute names for the... thing. That... thing is something dirty, which shouldn't be mentioned at all, and if it is, it must be absolutely clear how filthy and thoroughly unmentionable it is.

I must say, I am extremely, ah, "pleased" with the way my brain blows minor questions out of proportion. *beats brain to death with a stick*