Teh Sparkly

[donnaimmaculata]

Everything I know about Twilight I have learned from my flist, and I know that I will never, ever read the books. I never intended to waste any words on them, either, but I would like some confirmation that what I've now read is true:

Bella gives birth to Edmund's Sparkly!Vampire!Magical!WerewolfSoulmate!Baby and the following things happen in the process:

a) she pukes blood
b) the Sparkly!Vampire!Magical!WerewolfSoulmate!Baby breaks her pelvis and her spine
c) Edmund uses his awesome sparkly marble teeth to bite the Sparkly!Vampire!Magical!WerewolfSoulmate!Baby free from the womb

Really? I mean, seriously? Because if so, then this is the most beautiful cracky squick ever, and I am seriously impressed with SMeyer. I would have never dared to put anything like that into a novel I intend to be published and read by children.

Then again, I am not a romantic :-(

Comments

[fluffyllama.livejournal.com]

Haha, yes. If I was going to post that's pretty much what I'd say. I'm kind of baffled by all the goings-on, but it's terribly entertaining!

[donnaimmaculata.livejournal.com]

You know, being the reasonable person that I am, I always vaguely assumed that my information - gained via my mostly anti-Twilight flist and fandom_wank - was inaccurate and that Twilight wasn't really that bad. I mean, if your knowledge of Harry Potter derived solely from anti-HP posts and fandom_wank, you'd think that the entire HP canon and fandom were completely mental.

But in their case the madness is right there!