donnaimmaculata ([personal profile] donnaimmaculata) wrote2008-08-06 01:28 pm

Teh Sparkly

Everything I know about Twilight I have learned from my flist, and I know that I will never, ever read the books. I never intended to waste any words on them, either, but I would like some confirmation that what I've now read is true:

Bella gives birth to Edmund's Sparkly!Vampire!Magical!WerewolfSoulmate!Baby and the following things happen in the process:

a) she pukes blood
b) the Sparkly!Vampire!Magical!WerewolfSoulmate!Baby breaks her pelvis and her spine
c) Edmund uses his awesome sparkly marble teeth to bite the Sparkly!Vampire!Magical!WerewolfSoulmate!Baby free from the womb

Really? I mean, seriously? Because if so, then this is the most beautiful cracky squick ever, and I am seriously impressed with SMeyer. I would have never dared to put anything like that into a novel I intend to be published and read by children.

Then again, I am not a romantic :-(

[identity profile] shocolate.livejournal.com 2008-08-06 05:57 pm (UTC)(link)
I... maybe a good Mormon mother of twelve wouldn't know the term - but none of her editors??

Unless they all pissed themselves laughing and left it in...

Need the pdfs??

[identity profile] cutecoati.livejournal.com 2008-08-06 06:52 pm (UTC)(link)
Unless they all pissed themselves laughing and left it in...

I like that theory. *nods*

Pdf??? OMG I'll be your slave forevah!