donnaimmaculata ([personal profile] donnaimmaculata) wrote2008-08-06 01:28 pm

Teh Sparkly

Everything I know about Twilight I have learned from my flist, and I know that I will never, ever read the books. I never intended to waste any words on them, either, but I would like some confirmation that what I've now read is true:

Bella gives birth to Edmund's Sparkly!Vampire!Magical!WerewolfSoulmate!Baby and the following things happen in the process:

a) she pukes blood
b) the Sparkly!Vampire!Magical!WerewolfSoulmate!Baby breaks her pelvis and her spine
c) Edmund uses his awesome sparkly marble teeth to bite the Sparkly!Vampire!Magical!WerewolfSoulmate!Baby free from the womb

Really? I mean, seriously? Because if so, then this is the most beautiful cracky squick ever, and I am seriously impressed with SMeyer. I would have never dared to put anything like that into a novel I intend to be published and read by children.

Then again, I am not a romantic :-(
fourth_rose: (Default)

[personal profile] fourth_rose 2008-08-07 07:12 am (UTC)(link)
If you need them again, let me know :)

[identity profile] donnaimmaculata.livejournal.com 2008-08-07 07:16 am (UTC)(link)
If I do, you'll know that I hit rock bottom ;-)