On the sex appeal of literary crushes (more or less)

[donnaimmaculata]

Last week, it took my fancy to read Lucy Maud Montgomery's "Emily" series. I've never really been into the series as a child and have never owned and read the first book, so I hunted it down on the Internet. And then I met Dean Priest.

She heard him say, "My God!" softly to himself. [...] "How can I help you?" said Dean Priest hoarsely, as if to himself. "I cannot reach you--and it looks as if the slightest touch or jar would send that broken earth over the brink. I must go for a rope-- and to leave you here alone--like this. Can you wait, child?"

And then:

Emily knew he had been to college, that he was thirty-six years old--which to Emily seemed a venerable age--and well-off; that he had a malformed shoulder and limped slightly; that he cared for nothing save books nor ever had; that he lived with an older brother and travelled a great deal; and that the whole Priest clan stood somewhat in awe of his ironic tongue. Aunt Nancy had called him a "cynic." Emily did not know what a cynic was but it sounded interesting. She looked him over carefully and saw that he had delicate, pale features and tawny-brown hair. His lips were thin and sensitive, with a whimsical curve. She liked his mouth. Had she been older she would have known why--because it connoted strength and tenderness and humour.

Here, I had to stop reading and drink some cold water. Now, apart from the fact that I've got this insane thin-lips fetish (I'm probably the only person in the fandom who gets actually turned on by Snape's thin lips - instead of ignoring them bravely or explaining them away as being rather pouty, really, once one gets a better look at them. I rather ignore fandom!Sirius' lips being described as "full" and "girly" and - ew! - pink and - ewww! - fleshy.) - who could resist the connotation of "strength and tenderness and humour"?

But within a few paragraphs only, I fell out of love as quickly as I had fallen in. There are some things I do find disturbing, especially when they are voiced in passing and matter-of-factly. Then again, that's probably just me.



So, Dean Priest is doing very well, being equipped with attributes such as an "aloof dignity", "dreamy green eyes" and a "beautiful, musical and caressing voice". However, at the end of his conversation with 12-years-old Emily, he decides he's going to marry her in future. "I think I'll wait for you." At this point, Dean Priest dropped in my esteem from the top of the list of literary crushes right into nothingness.

I have this very deeply rooted aversion against grown men falling in love with girls who could be their daughters. While I don't think that Dean Priest is a pedophile (or, for that matter, Jane Austen's Col. Brandon or Mr. Knightley, who both fall in love with underage girls) and that his relationship to Emily is abusive, I do wonder what sort of man looks for a partner for life among little girls. It is not so much the relationship between the two characters I find disturbing but more the man himself. Because what makes me like a literary character is the fact that I can relate to them as I could relate to a real person. (This is why I like Rowling's novels so much: the characters feel real to me.) So while I feel about characters in novels just like I feel about people in RL, I apply the same criteria to them. If one of my friends, in his 20s or 30s, fell for a 12-years-old girl (like Emily, or Emma, who is 12 when 28-years-old Mr. Knightley falls in love with her) or with a 16-years-old girl, or even with a slightly older girl who's still at school and lives with her parents and leads a life so completely different from the lives my peer group leads, I would at least shake my head, be certainly disturbed and possibly alarmed.

So while I read and enjoyed Lolita (and fully understood what Humbert Humbert found so attractive about the girl), I find scenarios such as the one with Dean Priest or Col. Brandon's and Marianne's "romance" more disturbing. Because they are told in a way that indicates that it's perfectly normal to think of a schoolgirl as of one's future wife.

It is not so much the age difference that bugs me. (Two of my best friends are involved with/married to men twice their age.) It's more the difference in life styles and maturity levels. While I believe it's perfectly reasonable for a 50-years-old man to seriously fall in love with a woman in her late 20s, I don't think that a man in his late 30s should think of a 12-year-old as a potential partner for life. Again, if a friend of mine did, I would wonder whether he's not up to handling a woman his age, who is is equal in experience and maturity. And while I wouldn't necessarily think him a pervert (I can fully see the sexual appeal of young girls), I would think him weak. A grown man should know better than seduce underage girls just because he can and because they're willing (or unresisting). I don't underestimate schoolgirls; I was pretty calculating myself and got involved with far older men. But even then, I knew the relationships were not balanced and that I couldn't respect the men. I feel that if a man can't find his match among his equals, there is something seriously wrong with him.

This is incidentally the reason why I am not interested in Snarry fics. Not because I think it's necessarily an abusive relationship or because I think Snape is just blatantly forcing Harry - and the dynamics between them, all the hatred and aggression, is an aspect that strongly appeals to me - but because I lose a great part of my respect for Severus when he starts making out with Harry instead of focusing his energy on his equals. (What's wrong with Remus, eh?) Especially since Severus has experienced Harry as his student: there is a huge authority gap between them. Even if Snape is not actively abusive, he is the one with experience and in control - or should be. No matter how I look at this, whether Snape is actively in charge (thus abusing his position and manipulating Harry into a relationship), whether Snape merely follows his baser instincts (thus dehumanising himself) or whether Snape is seduced by Harry (thus giving up his control and giving himself over into Harry's hands), I lose a good part of my respect for the man.

This is merely an illustration of how my mind works and on why I am a dedicated supporter of relationships among equals. As to Snape/Black, while I can see them post Azkaban, I don't see them ending up together at school. In the narrative presence (well, before Sirius' death), they are both similarly fucked up, are both living under conditions they hate and haven't much control about their lives. They are equal in experience and situation (with regard to quantity, not quality).

But this is not supposed to be another pro-Snack essay. I originally intended to talk more about men's lips. Oh well. Maybe next time.

I need my bed now.

Comments

[semielliptical]

I don't have anything useful to add, but I had to say that's a great explanation of what makes Snape/Harry uninteresting to me, too. Now and then I may read a Snape/Harry fic because the sex is good, but I'm not interested in the relationship.

[prillalar]

I recently re-read Emily and had much the same reaction. And was sad because I liked Dean very much apart from that and his pathological jealousy. I found him kind of Remus-y, actually.

[arachnethe2.livejournal.com]

My resons for writing Snack are rather pragmatic: Snarry has been done already to death. Everyone writes it, so I'm writing what few people do. But that's only the reason number one. The reason number one-A is that after OotP I fell in love with Sirius. The reason number three-B is that Snack is about two equals with a very complicated interaction, which is a challenge to write. I love challenges.

I like Snarry. To read them was my portal to the fandom. I even wrote one myself. But I'm taking them always with a salt of grain, because mostly I can these stories only as thus: a fiction , especially when they are build around the student/teacher relationship. And I'm still waiting for the story, where Dumbledore finds out and kicks Snape out of Hogwards.

[caesia390.livejournal.com]

just a note in defense of snarry........

as a snarry addict, i still take most fics with a grain of salt... harry's characterization is usually aged up considerably, in maturity if not in physical age. it's a rare fic that preserves the animosity of their canon relationship while successfully extrapolating several years into the future, so i understand how that pairing could seem 'off' to you, as the vast majority of them require some suspension of disbelief.

but when it does work.... >:} I find that, emotionally, the two are equals. Severus is emotionally stunted. Harry could grow up to be a more understanding, less self-centered person. Moreover, in canon, I read their relationship as overflowing with sexual tension. Harry never seems to respect Severus as a teacher, just as Severus never treats Harry as just another student - their relationship is far, far more complex than that, and what we see in the 5th book is them taking the first grudging steps toward understanding and respecting each other as individuals. It will be a long way until they reach the type of dynamic (or even a variation of it) popular in canon, but I see them as definitely on that road.

So while I can't imagine Snarry happening while Harry is 15, or even 17, or... 20, I do see the very real possibility of it once Harry has matured and Snape has calmed down a bit. The issue of authority doesn't seem real to me at all, because it's something Harry doesn't respect and Snape loses anyway, as he's so out of control when it comes to his resentment of Harry.

As for Snack........ I'd believe it, but it's so unhappy!!! More like mutual rape. ;_; And if it were to be happy... I just don't think I'd buy it. They hate each other. Vs Snape and Harry, who each hate what the other represents, but, as we've begun to see, could respect and even like each other as people.

[laurelwood.livejournal.com]

For some reason, Dean picking out a schoolgirl potential bride didn't bother me. I suppose if he'd been creepy about it, it would have, but I found myself able to justify his preference for a 12-year-old. Besides that kindred spirit stuff over things like cloud-watching and poetry, it was the fact that Emily immediately accepted him (over and above his role of savior on the cliff and all that) as a friend- something I'm sure he wasn't used to, given that Blair Water inhabitants seemed disposed to looking askance at Priests in general, and a hunchbacked academic Priest in particular. (My fervent apologies for that wretched sentence structure!)

At any rate, Dean appealed to me for many more paragraphs than he did for you. I didn't cast him aside until the third book or so, when he started undermining Emily's writing pursuits because he was jealous of her ability and what he saw to be her future success. I'm fascinated by the (non-pedophilic) twistedness of character that compels "damaged" men to be drawn to younger would-be partners- whether it's because they think they can't get/don't deserve someone in their own peer group, or because they want to relive a wretched youth through/with that young person they've attached themselves to.

As for liking Snarry, it's the whole badly-described rationale above plus a big ol' student/teacher kink. I blame the whole thing on a very Dean-like teacher (no hunchback, but a very bad limp! and an acidness of tongue! and thin lips!) I obsessed over for most of my teen years. I'll probably do an about-face when my own daughter hits puberty in a few years.

[neotoma.livejournal.com]

while I wouldn't necessarily think him a pervert (I can fully see the sexual appeal of young girls), I would think him weak.

I would definitely think that of a modern man -- for characters in historical fiction, well, woman were expected to be married by 25, and in the Austen novels, by the end of their Season, which usually took place when they were between 16-18. There weren't many woman of similar age for bachelors *to* court, so it doesn't bother me as badly as it would if they were modern stories.

but because I lose a great part of my respect for Severus when he starts making out with Harry instead of focusing his energy on his equals.

I really appreciate the point, and though I do enjoy Snarry fics (mainly because with as many as there are out there, some of the have to be good just on the numbers!), I actually like this dynamic 'inequality of authority' in Snape/Dumbledore fics! But that pairing is 1) much rarer than Snape/Harry, and 2) for some reason doesn't tend to get into the potential for abuse (if not actuality of it)that would be endemic in a relationship between Snape and Dumbledore.

because i'm spamming your inbox today...

[caesia390.livejournal.com]

a word on literary pedophilia. i don't have the first clue about this book series you're referencing, but i assume it takes place at least one hundred years ago... in that case, i just want to share this insight i've recently gained from watching The Regency (reality show that puts its participants into an 1800s setting):

In, for example, England's Regency period, men and women could barely come into contact with each other in such a way to create a meaningful relationship before marriage. thus, love at first sight or only after a couple of chaperoned conversations would have been the norm. moreover, the simple amount of eligible ladies and gentlemen would have been severely limited for a particular age group, even considering the age differences within couples. so if an inteligent man met a charming girl whom he might reasonably expect to grow into a charming young lady and suitable wife, it would make a lot of sense to stake his claim early. it doesn't have to mean that he's erotically obsessed by her.. or even if he is erotically obsessed by her, it's not like he can get to know her to dispell the fantasy, or would want to. and the spheres of the sexes were so disparate anyway, age wouldn't have made much difference. the ideal woman of any age was seen as childlike, and they had the skull-measurements to prove it. ~_~

all of a sudden i've found myself much more sympathetic to all those ridiculous lovers who lost their hearts without a single word spoken, relationships based on poetry..... XP