Life seems but a quick succession of busy nothings

Title: Ars Moriendi
Author: Donna Immaculata
Rating: Mature for disturbing themes
Characters: Aramis, Athos, Porthos, d'Artagnan
Status: WIP
Word count: 3285 for chapter 1
Summary: In the wake of Marsac's burial, Aramis doesn't sleep.
Notes: Inspired by the idea I’ve seen pop up in several places that Marsac would come back as a zombie, as evidenced by Aramis leaving the sword stuck in his grave for him. Despite the silly-sounding premise, this is not a crack fic - quite the contrary, actually.
Inspired by The Dying of the Light by Cunien

Ars Moriendi on AO3

Well, at least it's not porn this time. It's angst and horror instead, which I inflict on Aramis because I love him.


Pictured: not a happy bunny

So, I gave in and got myself a Tumblr. I'm donnaimmaculata there as well, because this is my preferred fannish identity on the Internets. Any of you available to be followed? I'm not sure if I will use the account actively, but I'd like to be able to look at pretty pictures. Oh, and if anyone has any tips as to tumblrs that one should follow, let me know.

Also, I wrote fic again. Doctor Who (because Ten is hot) and The Musketeers (because Aramis is hot). Yep, these are my fic-writing standards.

Title: the boy without a name was silent
Author: Donna Immaculata
Fandom: Doctor Who
Prompt: #14 - Author, in the Sanatorium, with an umbrella, in a mobile library
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Jack/Tenth Doctor
Word count: 500
Spoilers/warnings: none
Summary: All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. Told in five drabbles of 100 words each.
Notes: Title taken from Michael Ende’s Neverending Story. Many thanks to L. for the beta!

the boy without a name was silent on wintercompanion


Title: A Good Soldier
Author: Donna Immaculata
Fandom: The Musketeers
Rating: NC-17/Explicit
Pairing: Aramis/Tréville
Word count: 4448
Spoilers: for episode 4
Summary/Notes: Written as answer to deacertes' prompt: I have this idea that Aramis doesn't really know what to do with himself after laying Marsac to rest. He trudges around in the rain for hours before finding himself back in Treville's office staring at the bloodstains on the floor. Which is where Treville finds him... I like my Treville toppy and caring

The thing got bloody long, because they just wouldn't stop angsting. But I managed to make them do sex in the end.

A Good Soldier on AO3

And just to reiterate: This is the sole reason I'm writing in The Musketeers fandom at all:

*delurks*

So, I've been wondering: is it worth getting a Tumblr account? Is that where fandom is taking place these days and where everyone has wandered off to? It's time to admit I'm totally out of the loop.

On plus side: I've managed to write fic in a new fandom. I'm not getting too excited about it, because I know myself and know that it won't last, but for the time being I'm indulging in a very nostalgic sort of crush:


He does look very lickable, doesn't he?

Look, I don't think that The Musketeers is a brilliant show. In fact, I got bored halfway through and stopped watching - stunning visuals notwithstanding - but then I gave it a chance, watched it all in a marathon session and decided to revive a crush from 30 years ago, when Aramis used to look like this:



Yeah, the new version is better. My ten-year-old self is weeping for the missed chance. Seriously, my ten-year-old self would so have loved to have had the new revamped Aramis to perv over. He has been specifically designed to appeal to my ten-year-old self's (and teenage self's) aesthetic requirements. And while my present-day self appreciates the visuals, it is not entirely overwhelmed by them. It's too sad.

But that didn't stop me from writing porn for him. And angst. Well, the angst is Marsac's, because Marsac is The Musketeers' verse's Sirius Black (which makes Aramis Remus Lupin, which explains a lot).

Title: Dance Macabre
Author: Donna Immaculata
Rating: Mature
Pairing: Aramis/Marsac
Word count: 4718
Warnings: Angst, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Hand Jobs, Mutual Masturbation, PTSD, Miscommunication, Catholic Guilt, Death Wish
Summary: Meeting Aramis again after all those years sparks something within him back to life.
Spoilers: For episode 4 - The Good Soldier

Dance Macabre on AO3

So I've just been idly toying with the idea of doing the "Which fictional characters would you shag" meme, because fictional crushes are what my online life is all about, but then: First, I don't know most of the characters on the list and can't be arsed to html-strike them all. And second, when I started to actually consider the characters that I would shag; I realised that I... wouldn't. Not unless I were a Mary Sue.

Clearly, I've given it too much thought, but I am thorough like that: Captain Jack Sparrow? Pretty, yes, and wicked, and it's Johnny Depp and all. But he suffers from the Lord of the Rings syndrome of being Unwashed. (In LotR fics I couldn't get past the fact that they have been wandering around in their armour for months and months without washing. How can Aragorn/Boromir slash even work? They are filthy! Would you want to have anything to do with a penis that hasn't seen any water and soap in ages?)

So no, unless I were a Mary Sue and Captain Jack Sparrow a Mary-Sue fic protagonist ("His hair is not greasy, it's silky!"), I would not touch him with a ten-foot pole. I've been sat next to the Unwashed on the bus, thankyouverymuch.

Then there are the ever-popular vampires. I still fail to see the appeal of vampires. Call me a speciest, but they're dead. Okay, so I find Blood Ties' Henry Fitzroy and Being Human's Mitchell delightfully charming indeed, but they are dead. Henry would not fall asleep after sex. He would, for all intents and purposes, die. Okay, so he'd revive 12 hours later, but I don't see myself coping all that well with a man who falls dead when the night is over. Mitchell might not die, but he'd kill me and drink my blood. Oh, he'd feel bad about it afterwards, I'm sure, but a man who first hurts you and then feels bad about it - is that the way to go? I'm not quite so much into disfunctional relationships. Also, he's got cold skin, no pulse and no heartbeat. Would he sweat? Would he come? (As in: is there sperm?) If not, count me out. (Clearly too much thought. But, y'know, thorough.) Is that issue ever addressed in vampire porn fics?

Remus Lupin. Ah, Remus. I did love him madly. But again, the different species thing is a bit of a problem. I happily give him a fabulous sex life with other HP and non-HP characters, but, unless I develop Mary-Sue-sque qualities, I'd rather stay away from shagging a man who turns into a wolf every few weeks. Same applies to Sirius Black. It'd freak me out to know that he might turn into a dog any moment. Of course, there's always the option that they would lie to me by omission and never share their furry little secrets with me. Yes, that would actually work...

The Doctor (Ten, obvsly)? Delightful, but immortal and has two hearts. I couldn't cope with a second hearbeat just as I couldn't cope with the lack of a heartbeat. Plus, a bit of a wanker.

Okay, so the immortals are out. I can't even cope all that well with a man whose thighs are thinner than mine - how should I be able to cope with one who will maintain his physical perfection forever and ever, taunting me with it mercilessly?

Mr. Darcy. Presumably, he'd expect me to be a virgin or a whore. I can do neither. Disappointment on both sides is inevitable.

Then the list includes a wide array of yer olde "brilliant, yet socially and romantically inept" guys. Gregory House? Run away! Jonathan Creek? His neuroses would kill me dead even quicker than Mitchell would. Psychopaths like Patrick Batemen and the Joker are out, because I actually quite like to live.

In conclusion: The only fictional character I would actually have sex with if I were me and he were himself and no Mary-Sueing occured on either side is Northanger Abbey's Henry Tilney, who isn't even on the list.

( This is the list, BTW )

Has anyone ever read Jules Verne? When I was about 10 years old, I discovered In Search of the Castaways and The Mysterious Island, and they became two of the most beloved re-reads of my childhood. Oh, the adventures I had!

Now, more than 20 years later, I am refreshing my acquaintance with the Castaways. And lo and behold! I'm still crushing on Major McNabbs like crazy.

When I started the re-read, I vaguely remembered that he used to be my favourite character, but I didn't remember why. And then the character is introduced:

To complete the roll of passengers, we must name Major McNabbs. The Major was about fifty years of age, with a calm face and regular features - a man who did whatever he was told, of an excellent, indeed, a perfect temper; modest, silent, peaceable, and amiable, agreeing with everybody on every subject, never discussing, never disputing, never getting angry.
He wouldn't move a step quicker, or slower, whether he walked upstairs to bed or mounted a breach. Nothing could excite him, nothing could disturb him, not even a cannon ball, and no doubt he will die without ever having known even a passing feeling of irritation.

This man was endowed in an eminent degree, not only with ordinary animal courage, that physical bravery of the battle-field, which is solely due to muscular energy, but he had what is far nobler - moral courage, firmness of soul. If he had any fault it was his being so intensely Scotch from top to toe, a Caledonian of the Caledonians, an obstinate stickler for all the ancient customs of his country. This was the reason he would never serve in England, and he gained his rank of Major in the 42nd regiment, the Highland Black Watch, composed entirely of Scotch noblemen.

Really? I thought. A man who agrees with everybody, never disputing? I used to like that? I must have been very young.

And then the story unfolds, and the Major is fabulous. He's got a sense of humour! He's snarky! He's perfectly in control - of himself and of the situation! He is teh smart! <3

There's something quite Remus-y about him, actually; he's non-confrontational - never argues etc. - and yet he springs into action, level-headedly and efficiently, whenever necessary.

Plus, he's Scottish. And, as I have recently realised, I like Scots

And OMG, he should totally be played by Peter Capaldi!

Seeing as a big part of my data (shows! films!) might be lost, I need something to cheer self up. Fortunately, I made some caps before my disk died, which I can now use to discuss a deeply disturbing fetish:

Anyone who's followed this LJ for a little while might have noticed that I use it primary to talk about my crushes on fictional characters. And apparently, in many instances what gets me crushing is period clothing. - Give the man a cravat and boots, and I'm his.

( Case in point )

Top 10 Celebrity Crush Meme (Gacked from badonkatonks)

[1] - List your top 10 celebrity crushes.
[2] - Put all of them IN ORDER of your lust for them. (10 to 1, 1 being my number one fixation)
[3] - Say which movie/show/thing it was that hooked you.
[4] - Supply photos for said people.
[5] - Tag five people!

My celebrity crushes come and go, what with me being volatile like a hormonal teenager, but I managed to settle on ten in the end. And as I couldn't make my mind up as to which pictures to use, ( I decided to go for the NakedWetSlutty ones. Just because. )

This took for-bloody-ever. I'm not bothered about tagging anyone, but if you like to share your obsessions, by all means, please do!

Meme, gacked from flist:

List five fictional people -- from television, movies, books, whatever -- that you had a crush on as a child (or early teens). Then post this on your LiveJournal so other people can be assured that you're as weird as they thought.

I started doing this meme and then realised that limiting myself to five characters is not possible. I don't remember a time when I didn't have a crush or two (or three) on some character or other. ( Hence, I give you five book and five TV/movie crushes: )

And on a similar note (and because I don't want memes to be the only thing that appear on my LJ these days), I want to take the opportunity to talk about another major crush, which is so obvious that I didn't include it in the list.

neotoma asked about how authors would cope with writing Remus seeing as his character is largely defined by inaction and that his passivity gets in the way of action while trying to write a fic.

I, obviously, like to write Remus. I did have problems writing him when I started up as a HP writer, but now I've found my Remus and enjoy this character immensely, because his passive-aggression is a source of great amusement to me. ( Here's why )

Last week, it took my fancy to read Lucy Maud Montgomery's "Emily" series. I've never really been into the series as a child and have never owned and read the first book, so I hunted it down on the Internet. And then I met Dean Priest.

She heard him say, "My God!" softly to himself. [...] "How can I help you?" said Dean Priest hoarsely, as if to himself. "I cannot reach you--and it looks as if the slightest touch or jar would send that broken earth over the brink. I must go for a rope-- and to leave you here alone--like this. Can you wait, child?"

And then:

Emily knew he had been to college, that he was thirty-six years old--which to Emily seemed a venerable age--and well-off; that he had a malformed shoulder and limped slightly; that he cared for nothing save books nor ever had; that he lived with an older brother and travelled a great deal; and that the whole Priest clan stood somewhat in awe of his ironic tongue. Aunt Nancy had called him a "cynic." Emily did not know what a cynic was but it sounded interesting. She looked him over carefully and saw that he had delicate, pale features and tawny-brown hair. His lips were thin and sensitive, with a whimsical curve. She liked his mouth. Had she been older she would have known why--because it connoted strength and tenderness and humour.

Here, I had to stop reading and drink some cold water. Now, apart from the fact that I've got this insane thin-lips fetish (I'm probably the only person in the fandom who gets actually turned on by Snape's thin lips - instead of ignoring them bravely or explaining them away as being rather pouty, really, once one gets a better look at them. I rather ignore fandom!Sirius' lips being described as "full" and "girly" and - ew! - pink and - ewww! - fleshy.) - who could resist the connotation of "strength and tenderness and humour"?

But within a few paragraphs only, I fell out of love as quickly as I had fallen in. There are some things I do find disturbing, especially when they are voiced in passing and matter-of-factly. Then again, that's probably just me.

( Behind the cut, Donna rambles randomly about pedophilia, respect, literary crushes and Snarry vs. Snack, but doesn't talk about men's lips as much as she intended to. )