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donnaimmaculataLast week, it took my fancy to read Lucy Maud Montgomery's "Emily" series. I've never really been into the series as a child and have never owned and read the first book, so I hunted it down on the Internet. And then I met Dean Priest.
She heard him say, "My God!" softly to himself. [...] "How can I help you?" said Dean Priest hoarsely, as if to himself. "I cannot reach you--and it looks as if the slightest touch or jar would send that broken earth over the brink. I must go for a rope-- and to leave you here alone--like this. Can you wait, child?"
And then:
Emily knew he had been to college, that he was thirty-six years old--which to Emily seemed a venerable age--and well-off; that he had a malformed shoulder and limped slightly; that he cared for nothing save books nor ever had; that he lived with an older brother and travelled a great deal; and that the whole Priest clan stood somewhat in awe of his ironic tongue. Aunt Nancy had called him a "cynic." Emily did not know what a cynic was but it sounded interesting. She looked him over carefully and saw that he had delicate, pale features and tawny-brown hair. His lips were thin and sensitive, with a whimsical curve. She liked his mouth. Had she been older she would have known why--because it connoted strength and tenderness and humour.
Here, I had to stop reading and drink some cold water. Now, apart from the fact that I've got this insane thin-lips fetish (I'm probably the only person in the fandom who gets actually turned on by Snape's thin lips - instead of ignoring them bravely or explaining them away as being rather pouty, really, once one gets a better look at them. I rather ignore fandom!Sirius' lips being described as "full" and "girly" and - ew! - pink and - ewww! - fleshy.) - who could resist the connotation of "strength and tenderness and humour"?
But within a few paragraphs only, I fell out of love as quickly as I had fallen in. There are some things I do find disturbing, especially when they are voiced in passing and matter-of-factly. Then again, that's probably just me.
So, Dean Priest is doing very well, being equipped with attributes such as an "aloof dignity", "dreamy green eyes" and a "beautiful, musical and caressing voice". However, at the end of his conversation with 12-years-old Emily, he decides he's going to marry her in future. "I think I'll wait for you." At this point, Dean Priest dropped in my esteem from the top of the list of literary crushes right into nothingness.
I have this very deeply rooted aversion against grown men falling in love with girls who could be their daughters. While I don't think that Dean Priest is a pedophile (or, for that matter, Jane Austen's Col. Brandon or Mr. Knightley, who both fall in love with underage girls) and that his relationship to Emily is abusive, I do wonder what sort of man looks for a partner for life among little girls. It is not so much the relationship between the two characters I find disturbing but more the man himself. Because what makes me like a literary character is the fact that I can relate to them as I could relate to a real person. (This is why I like Rowling's novels so much: the characters feel real to me.) So while I feel about characters in novels just like I feel about people in RL, I apply the same criteria to them. If one of my friends, in his 20s or 30s, fell for a 12-years-old girl (like Emily, or Emma, who is 12 when 28-years-old Mr. Knightley falls in love with her) or with a 16-years-old girl, or even with a slightly older girl who's still at school and lives with her parents and leads a life so completely different from the lives my peer group leads, I would at least shake my head, be certainly disturbed and possibly alarmed.
So while I read and enjoyed Lolita (and fully understood what Humbert Humbert found so attractive about the girl), I find scenarios such as the one with Dean Priest or Col. Brandon's and Marianne's "romance" more disturbing. Because they are told in a way that indicates that it's perfectly normal to think of a schoolgirl as of one's future wife.
It is not so much the age difference that bugs me. (Two of my best friends are involved with/married to men twice their age.) It's more the difference in life styles and maturity levels. While I believe it's perfectly reasonable for a 50-years-old man to seriously fall in love with a woman in her late 20s, I don't think that a man in his late 30s should think of a 12-year-old as a potential partner for life. Again, if a friend of mine did, I would wonder whether he's not up to handling a woman his age, who is is equal in experience and maturity. And while I wouldn't necessarily think him a pervert (I can fully see the sexual appeal of young girls), I would think him weak. A grown man should know better than seduce underage girls just because he can and because they're willing (or unresisting). I don't underestimate schoolgirls; I was pretty calculating myself and got involved with far older men. But even then, I knew the relationships were not balanced and that I couldn't respect the men. I feel that if a man can't find his match among his equals, there is something seriously wrong with him.
This is incidentally the reason why I am not interested in Snarry fics. Not because I think it's necessarily an abusive relationship or because I think Snape is just blatantly forcing Harry - and the dynamics between them, all the hatred and aggression, is an aspect that strongly appeals to me - but because I lose a great part of my respect for Severus when he starts making out with Harry instead of focusing his energy on his equals. (What's wrong with Remus, eh?) Especially since Severus has experienced Harry as his student: there is a huge authority gap between them. Even if Snape is not actively abusive, he is the one with experience and in control - or should be. No matter how I look at this, whether Snape is actively in charge (thus abusing his position and manipulating Harry into a relationship), whether Snape merely follows his baser instincts (thus dehumanising himself) or whether Snape is seduced by Harry (thus giving up his control and giving himself over into Harry's hands), I lose a good part of my respect for the man.
This is merely an illustration of how my mind works and on why I am a dedicated supporter of relationships among equals. As to Snape/Black, while I can see them post Azkaban, I don't see them ending up together at school. In the narrative presence (well, before Sirius' death), they are both similarly fucked up, are both living under conditions they hate and haven't much control about their lives. They are equal in experience and situation (with regard to quantity, not quality).
But this is not supposed to be another pro-Snack essay. I originally intended to talk more about men's lips. Oh well. Maybe next time.
I need my bed now.
She heard him say, "My God!" softly to himself. [...] "How can I help you?" said Dean Priest hoarsely, as if to himself. "I cannot reach you--and it looks as if the slightest touch or jar would send that broken earth over the brink. I must go for a rope-- and to leave you here alone--like this. Can you wait, child?"
And then:
Emily knew he had been to college, that he was thirty-six years old--which to Emily seemed a venerable age--and well-off; that he had a malformed shoulder and limped slightly; that he cared for nothing save books nor ever had; that he lived with an older brother and travelled a great deal; and that the whole Priest clan stood somewhat in awe of his ironic tongue. Aunt Nancy had called him a "cynic." Emily did not know what a cynic was but it sounded interesting. She looked him over carefully and saw that he had delicate, pale features and tawny-brown hair. His lips were thin and sensitive, with a whimsical curve. She liked his mouth. Had she been older she would have known why--because it connoted strength and tenderness and humour.
Here, I had to stop reading and drink some cold water. Now, apart from the fact that I've got this insane thin-lips fetish (I'm probably the only person in the fandom who gets actually turned on by Snape's thin lips - instead of ignoring them bravely or explaining them away as being rather pouty, really, once one gets a better look at them. I rather ignore fandom!Sirius' lips being described as "full" and "girly" and - ew! - pink and - ewww! - fleshy.) - who could resist the connotation of "strength and tenderness and humour"?
But within a few paragraphs only, I fell out of love as quickly as I had fallen in. There are some things I do find disturbing, especially when they are voiced in passing and matter-of-factly. Then again, that's probably just me.
So, Dean Priest is doing very well, being equipped with attributes such as an "aloof dignity", "dreamy green eyes" and a "beautiful, musical and caressing voice". However, at the end of his conversation with 12-years-old Emily, he decides he's going to marry her in future. "I think I'll wait for you." At this point, Dean Priest dropped in my esteem from the top of the list of literary crushes right into nothingness.
I have this very deeply rooted aversion against grown men falling in love with girls who could be their daughters. While I don't think that Dean Priest is a pedophile (or, for that matter, Jane Austen's Col. Brandon or Mr. Knightley, who both fall in love with underage girls) and that his relationship to Emily is abusive, I do wonder what sort of man looks for a partner for life among little girls. It is not so much the relationship between the two characters I find disturbing but more the man himself. Because what makes me like a literary character is the fact that I can relate to them as I could relate to a real person. (This is why I like Rowling's novels so much: the characters feel real to me.) So while I feel about characters in novels just like I feel about people in RL, I apply the same criteria to them. If one of my friends, in his 20s or 30s, fell for a 12-years-old girl (like Emily, or Emma, who is 12 when 28-years-old Mr. Knightley falls in love with her) or with a 16-years-old girl, or even with a slightly older girl who's still at school and lives with her parents and leads a life so completely different from the lives my peer group leads, I would at least shake my head, be certainly disturbed and possibly alarmed.
So while I read and enjoyed Lolita (and fully understood what Humbert Humbert found so attractive about the girl), I find scenarios such as the one with Dean Priest or Col. Brandon's and Marianne's "romance" more disturbing. Because they are told in a way that indicates that it's perfectly normal to think of a schoolgirl as of one's future wife.
It is not so much the age difference that bugs me. (Two of my best friends are involved with/married to men twice their age.) It's more the difference in life styles and maturity levels. While I believe it's perfectly reasonable for a 50-years-old man to seriously fall in love with a woman in her late 20s, I don't think that a man in his late 30s should think of a 12-year-old as a potential partner for life. Again, if a friend of mine did, I would wonder whether he's not up to handling a woman his age, who is is equal in experience and maturity. And while I wouldn't necessarily think him a pervert (I can fully see the sexual appeal of young girls), I would think him weak. A grown man should know better than seduce underage girls just because he can and because they're willing (or unresisting). I don't underestimate schoolgirls; I was pretty calculating myself and got involved with far older men. But even then, I knew the relationships were not balanced and that I couldn't respect the men. I feel that if a man can't find his match among his equals, there is something seriously wrong with him.
This is incidentally the reason why I am not interested in Snarry fics. Not because I think it's necessarily an abusive relationship or because I think Snape is just blatantly forcing Harry - and the dynamics between them, all the hatred and aggression, is an aspect that strongly appeals to me - but because I lose a great part of my respect for Severus when he starts making out with Harry instead of focusing his energy on his equals. (What's wrong with Remus, eh?) Especially since Severus has experienced Harry as his student: there is a huge authority gap between them. Even if Snape is not actively abusive, he is the one with experience and in control - or should be. No matter how I look at this, whether Snape is actively in charge (thus abusing his position and manipulating Harry into a relationship), whether Snape merely follows his baser instincts (thus dehumanising himself) or whether Snape is seduced by Harry (thus giving up his control and giving himself over into Harry's hands), I lose a good part of my respect for the man.
This is merely an illustration of how my mind works and on why I am a dedicated supporter of relationships among equals. As to Snape/Black, while I can see them post Azkaban, I don't see them ending up together at school. In the narrative presence (well, before Sirius' death), they are both similarly fucked up, are both living under conditions they hate and haven't much control about their lives. They are equal in experience and situation (with regard to quantity, not quality).
But this is not supposed to be another pro-Snack essay. I originally intended to talk more about men's lips. Oh well. Maybe next time.
I need my bed now.
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no subject
Date: 2004-03-11 03:40 pm (UTC)i guess i doubt that snape and sirius could ever manage anything beyond grudging acceptance, in the best of circumstances... but hey, that's me. :}
and as for harry at the end of ootp - i do slightly disagree. i think that he's falling back on his blaming of snape as a defense because of his own guilt about sirius's death; he just can't handle that and the revelations about his parents and his empathy with snape all at once... he retreats; he lashes out. but i firmly believe that the understanding is still there, under the surface, and their relationship will become even more... entangled... in future books.
could swear i had one more thing to say...... doo de doo...... er, i'm happy to say that i don't see harry trusting anyone anytime soon, last of all remus. note that he still calls him Lupin in his mind, and the lack of interaction between those two in general. even if harry doesn't consciously think it, i believe he resents lupin's deliberate non-involvement in his life.
Yay sirius!!! i just finished this cheesy historical adventure with a main character that reminded me of him - charming, brilliant, brave, ruthless. Vendetta in Spain, if you're interested, but be warned - it's very cheesy. kind of like if sirius wrote a novel, subtitled "I Am So Cool." ^_^
grrr.... know i had something more to say..... but maybe not. oh well.
vive la escapism!!!!!
no subject
Date: 2004-03-13 05:45 am (UTC)Yes, I fully agree here. But - and this is what I mean by saying he falls back into the old patterns - Rowling doesn't let him change with respect to Snape. Possibly not yet. Possibly never. However, the possibility that there is understanding for Snape dawning in Harry is not what Rowling shows us - she merely indicates it, providing the basis for an understaning, but it's the fandom which carries the idea further.
This is exactly the situation I'd compare with what happened with Sirius and Severus: there was definitely potential at the end of GoF for their mutual hatred to subside. "You're both on the same side now" and all this. They've been both fucked by life and in GoF their both lives were at a turning point. However, Rowling didn't explore this potential. I fear, she might neglect Harry and Snape, too.
last of all remus. note that he still calls him Lupin in his mind, and the lack of interaction between those two in general.
There is not much interaction, but Harry instinctively refers to Remus' guidance at the beginning of OotP. Okay, this might be because between Mad-Eye Moody and a bunch of completely strangers, Lupin is the lesser evil, but poor Harry's entire life is basically all about choosing lesser evils... I don't think Rowling will have Remus take over the part of Harry's father figure, but it is certainly something a part of the fandom wishes for.
charming, brilliant, brave, ruthless. [...] kind of like if sirius wrote a novel, subtitled "I Am So Cool." ^_^
Yay! Uber-cool!Sirius! He's so irresistible!
no subject
Date: 2004-03-13 06:48 am (UTC)Ooh! Good point! This just goes to show how preferred pairings can influence a person. I'd just sort of shoved that line to the back of my mind. ...Not that I'm saying I could imagine them jumping into bed now, but I do have a much clearer idea of the fact that... some progress might have been made... I guess part of it is that I just like them hating each other a lot. It's a nice outlet... "blah blah blah life sucks, but hey, at least i can still fantasize about (hexing snape/poisoning black)." and i guess in happy fluff land there would be no real intention to ever carry it through... whereas, in canon, they do want to murder each other. which is powerful. (typing before i've made up my mind again - ok, think break.)
... doo de doo ...
hmmmmmm..... i guess that's what my block is. snape's capacity for hatred is so great. i don't think he really hates harry, not the real non-james harry... annoyed in all directions by him, certainly, but not the boiling hatred he has for his peers who wronged him. so i can work with that, but i wouldn't know how to go about tackling this cauldron of ire that stands between him and black. i mean, i can see black using snape, raping him, no problem. and i can see snape snapping and raping black in a fit of dementia (because for him it would be a loss of control; black would just torture him for the hell of it). and then repurcussions of that, maybe, but as for just stepping down.... what could make them do that... wahhhh. brain boggling.
it's like everthing about them clashes - their personalities hate each other, even if snape wasn't the personification of sirius's family, even if sirius wasn't the personification of arrogance and charisma.
and this really makes me want to work james into this discussion... because i hate to leave james out. i love james and sirius; they're so... complementary. the perfect best friends. they hate snape in slightly different ways, but they each hate him so, so much, and snape hates them individually in return.
and then remus and peter and.... ok; if i start going into everyone snape hates, it will never end.