Some completely random and totally unconnected theories

[donnaimmaculata]

It's occured to me that it's been a long time since I posted anything fannish. To remedy this, I give you a selection of completely random and totally unconnected concepts and theories, which are not really stated in canon, but which I take for granted until Rowling proves me wrong:


Remus has no scars.

This, I think, actually is canon. Sadly, movie!Remus has made quite an impact, and has resulted in fandom!Remus being a scarred cardigan-wearer. Movie!Remus, however, has nothing in common with my Remus, and has thus left my image of him unspoiled. I think that Harry would have mentioned the scars, had Remus had them. He mentions the lines and the grey hair many, many times, and, I dare say, scars stand out rather more prominently than wrinkles. Especially to a boy's eyes. (I'd like to see the teenager who notices wrinkles but doesn't notice big fat scars.) So no, my Lupin doesn't have them. (And no, he doesn't wear a cardigan, either.)



Remus hates Snape.

He hates him. Passionately. Snape makes his skin crawl.



Lavender will die and Parvati will become a Seer.

Parvati will become a Seer because Trelawney says so. "She says I've got all the makings of a true Seer," she informed Harry and Ron... after the Divination exam in PoA. This is a far too good throw-away line to not become true in future books.

Lavender will die, because someone has to. No, wait, let me explain: I've always assumed that there are only those students in Harry's year, whom we have met in the books. But since Rowling insists that there are many more, I now assume that those, who are mentioned by name, must serve a purpose. And Lavender is good victim material.

(On a side note: I still prefer to think that there are only eight Gryffindor students in Harry's year, the reason being the dormitory: There are five beds in Harry's dorm, as stated repeatedly. There is also only one dorm for boys in Harry's year, because it is referred to as "the" dorm, and not "one of the" or "his". Oh dear, maths.)



ETA: Lavender and Parvati are not interchangeable.

Lavender is the one who cries over her dead bunny and is afraid of touching mice in Transfiguration. Parvati is the one who stands up to Draco and Snape, alongside Harry and Hermione: In PS, she is the only one apart from Harry to defend Neville against Draco in the Remembrall scene, and in PoA, she is the only one apart from Hermione and Harry to stand up to Snape in the DADA class. The girl's got potential!



Harry does not want to shag Snape.

No, he doesn't.



The "stringy" Slytherin boy who can see the Thestrals in the Care of Magical Creatures class is Blaise Zabini.

Because I think it's quite neat.



Dumbledore channels Granny Weatherwax.

Or vice versa. I am currently reading "A Hat Full of Sky" and Granny appears exactly the uber-witch to match Dumbledore's uber-wizard. Since we're seeing her through Tiffany's eyes, we don't know how much effort it costs Granny to maintain her uber-powers, and she appears almost superhuman. Had I encountered that Granny before I read the other novels, I would not have liked her and dismissed her as a flat and uninteresting character - possibly even an impossible one, like I dismissed Dumbledore. Now I think apologies are in order. Dumbledore supporters have been right all along, there is depth and character to be found behind the surface.

Yay for cross-novel reading!

PS. At some point, Granny's eyes actually twinkle!

~*~

I was going to watch "From Hell" tonight and swoon over Johnny Depp (because I've been swooning over him for a few weeks now, and why stop when I'm having so much fun?). But then I read rosina_alcona's post on the hotness that is Mr. Darcy - and it made me crave the Darcy experience as well. So what should I do? I got my mind set on Johnny quite firmly. And he can do some damn hot smouldering, too!

I think "From Hell" it's going to be...

Comments

[musesfool.livejournal.com]

I'd say, Remus doesn't have scars on his face. My Remus doesn't. Other parts of his body, yeah. Because I bet there were times he couldn't get to/afford any kind of medical care, and he says himself that he can't heal Ron's leg as well as Pomfrey can, so he can probably do okay healing, but not professional grade.

Anyhow, facial scars make it way too easy for Hermione to figure it out, and everyone else looks like morons.

And no, no cardigans. *shudders*

[soawen.livejournal.com]

Death to all cardigans! They are made from the hair he trims off his moustache!

Snape makes Remus skin crawl, but where to? Why can't it walk? Is it a cripple skin? Does it need a wheel chair?

I keep confusing Lavender and Parvati, so I don't care which one does what.

Yes, Harry does! I have just read a story in which he does it repeatedly! And who are you to argue with hot smut?

It's Zabini because we want at least that much to base our Gary Stu on. (And because we have heard of no other Slytherin boy that fits.)

Dumbledore isn't Granny. Granny would kick his arse for not getting said arse in gear and deal with Voldemort before it was too late. Nanny, on the other hand...


*hugs* Good to hear from you :)

[pauraque]

Sadly, movie!Remus has made quite an impact, and has resulted in fandom!Remus being a scarred cardigan-wearer.

I feel your pain, really, but this made me laugh out loud. Of all the things I thought might happen to fandom (and my concept of Remus) post-PoA movie, this was not one, and it never ceases to amuse me.

Also, I agree with musesfool about the scars. We know magically acquired scars exist, and werewolves are pretty darn magical. I believe he's scarred from the bite, but not on his face.

[ellensmithee.livejournal.com]

The "stringy" Slytherin boy who can see the Thestrals in the Care of Magical Creatures class is Blaise Zabini.

Because I think it's quite neat.

I just had a disagreement with a rl friend about this an hour ago! She's hoping it will be a "good" Slytherin, and I said, "It's Blaise!" and she said, "NOOOOOOO!"

[goldennotblonde.livejournal.com]

I agree with you about the scars. David Thewlis was so OOC in that movie. I laughed my ass off (in the theatre! - quietly) when 'Lupin' transformed. Peter clearly states in OotP (Snape's Worst Nightmare) that the differences between the werewolf and the true wolf were minimal, not near the Hollywood caracature in the movie. Perhaps they'd completed that scene when OotP came out, I don't know, but that 'werewolf' was a riddikulus joke.

And the cane! OMG, the cane! *cries* Fandom has been poisoned. I Do Not Like the cardigan. I wanted robes! I wanted to see amazing, gritty-real costumes. Instead I got a 'Lupin' with too much fat to be a penniless werewolf, a Sirius with unmatted hair (HELLO, no comb for 12 years!), and a children's-movie 'prison' outfit. Gimme a break.

There's an entry hereon the Lexicon saying that there may be two unidentified female students in Harry's year, but also an editor's note saying that there's not (unclear) because of the roll of DA members.

The throwaway line bit about Lavender makes some sense, and I like the idea of someone as a Seer, but I think it's Ron. Lavender does seem a bit extraneous, and Rowling doesn't do much of anything without a reason. Yes, she makes mistakes, but she has to cut way too much stuff to keep the word count down to waste anything in her books.

Still wondering if Lupin is really allergic to silver or not. He encounters it twice in OotP:
1. The doorknocker after the advance gaurd retrieves Harry, and
2. The goblet at Grimmauld Place that he holds but lowers 'looking wary.'

I also believe that Harry is a natural metamorphmagus. Rowling invested way to much page space in Tonks for her not to have a purpose. Lupin could have taken so many of her lines! Adapted, of course, and damn, but I wanted him to.

Sorry to hijack your journal like this, I think that was a rant. Yup, that was definitely a rant.

-Corrie

Re: ETA

[pauraque]

I resent the implication that Lavender crying over her dead bunny makes her a wimp! It'd be a hard-hearted person who wouldn't cry for a pet's untimely demise.

(Don't get me wrong, Lavender _is_ a wimp. Just not because of that. *g*)

[mafdet.livejournal.com]

Here via QQ.

You make good points about Lavender and Parvati. I'm a Parvati fan too, and I think she's been quite "misunderestimated" up to now. She's pretty and she's girly and she giggles a lot, but beneath all that is a brave and capable witch. Don't forget she reduced a table to dust with her Reductor curse in OOtP, too.

I wonder if Lavender is going to be one of those tempted to the Dark Side and dying for her foolishness (a-la Regulus Black)? I looked up the symbolism of "lavender" on a floral-names website and learned it symbolizes "distrust" because snakes are said to hide beneath it. And what a twist that would be. Girlish, squeamish Lavender as the current Evil Gryffindor (I actually surmise she and Seamus might both be the current crop of Evil Gryffs). No one would suspect her.

Hagrid is actually a much worse teacher than Trelawney. Trelawney is a poseur and a ditz, but she's never actually harmed her students. Hagrid, on the other hand, has put them in physical danger several times with Buckbeak and the Skrewts. Then there's Grawp, who is lurking out there, still a danger to the storyline whoever he comes in contact with. Hagrid is so feckless he's a danger.

[jollityfarm.livejournal.com]

I would like many people to make a clear note of my theory that one of the Gryffindors, almost certainly Neville, turns out to be a medium. Yes, Neville will discover his powers (someone's going to) and talk to the dead. Naturally, this is a very rare skill - so rare, in fact, that fanfiction.net will be overrun with mediums in the HP section. But this will be a delight to everyone who's lost someone (and, to placate to Sirius fans - yes, he's really dead, but you'll be able to see dead!Sirius again, thanks to Neville).

I base this theory on the fact that (a)a lot of hits have been dropped about death, finding out the nature of death, the ghosts etc and (b)talking to the dead is an occult practise that hasn't turned up in the books yet, so there's got to be some place for it.

As for your theories, I don't think Thewlis looked like Remus (my image of him was more skinny and pointy-faced, like a fox or - hey! - a wolf). Also, canon mentions robes, not cardies. I also agree with you that a Gryffindor student in Harry's year is going to die. It just makes sense. But I theorised that it would be Seamus or Dean, not that your suggestion of Lavender doesn't make me consider that.

However, I don't think people "become" seers. I think one is born with the power, or not, which is why Albus wanted to do away with the subject - there's no point.

[hobviously.livejournal.com]

It's my strong belief that the stringy Slytherin is Theodore Nott. Why?

1. His dad's a widow, which JKR has gone out of her way to tell us (on her website, which has an awful lot devoted to this seemingly unimportant character).
2. He's been mentioned more than once. Unlike Blaise.
3. Based on his buddying up to Malfoy at the end of OotP, we're gonna see a lot more of him. The thestral scene was a good subtle introduction, or something.

Also, I think Trelawney is full of crap, so I can't quite buy the Parvati=seer theory. I do think she's got a bigger role to play, though.
Completely in agreement about Lupin.

[firebird5.livejournal.com]

here via d_s

I agree with dearladydisdain that the stringy Slytherin is probably Theodore Nott. JKR thinks he's an important character (on her website), and Zabini is really just a name in canon. I hate fanon!Zabini so maybe I'm biased. But we exaggerate his importance, and I really doubt JKR thinks of him the same way we do.

Also, according to her site, Nott is sort of a loner and doesn't smarm up to Malfoy's crowd, and the stringy boy seemed loner-ish to me. Plus the fact that he can see Thestrals indicates that he's not like Malfoy (a pampered little boy hidden away at the manor when some nasty DE killing is going on), and well, Nott fits. He has a DE father, and we haven't heard of a DE named Zabini yet.

I liked Thewlis, but visualising any of the actors makes me shudder, besides the fact that I already had mental images of them before that contradict the movies. I don't like the movies anyway, since they deviate so much from canon. Robes, please! And that werewolf was just... pathetic.

My pet theory is that Lucius Malfoy will be set free from Azkaban and become Minister for Magic. And that he's not completely loyal to Voldemort. I dunno why, it just seems like the sort of thing JKR would do, to make their lives even worse. I found it laughable that people were actually suggesting Arthur would get the job (and she has since discredited it on her site, yay).

/rambling