mctabby's Nightmare Pairing Pledge

[donnaimmaculata]

I, Donna Immaculata, do solemnly swear that my favorite HP character is Remus Lupin and my least favorite character is Molly Weasley. The mere thought of them doing naughty things together makes me whimper. However... given sufficient crack and an infinite number of monkeys, here's how a Remus/Molly shag might happen (though I sincerely hope it never does, and if it does, I just don't want to know).

Necessary plot device or deus ex machina: Molly's menopause being in full swing already, she works herself into hysterics about the state of Harry's socks. As all her family rather hide in some forgotten corners in a house full of Dark magic than deal with Molly's humours, poor, patient Remus takes over.
Who makes the first move: Remus decides that the only way to shut her up is shoving his cock down her throat.
Positions and/or kinks: Remus' cock down her throat.
Afterglow: What with her nose blocked up with snot, Molly chokes to death on the (considerably large) cock. Remus decides to hook up with Mrs Black next.
Would I actually read or write this? I would, if only to see Molly choke to death.

The sad thing is, this is a fairly plausible pairing. Thank God Molly is not hawt enough for fandom to explore it.

Comments

[donnaimmaculata.livejournal.com]

Ah, lucky Colin. And he really needs to be thrown in Azkaban afterwards, because it's the only way to stop him stalking Remus, as he'd inevitably do after that shag. (I know I would.)

[imadra-blue.livejournal.com]

*giggles* And yes, he probably would then try to stalk Remus instead of Harry. Poor Remus. Dude, Remus hasn't even shagged me, and I'd stalk him flat out. Harry Who?