I saw Crabbe and Goyle!

[donnaimmaculata]

I saw them yesterday. They were about 14 or 15 and they were walking in front of me, so I got a very good view at all the Crabbe and Goyle-ness. They were big and meaty and heavy and looked really stupid, and when they stopped at a front door and I passed by, they wolf-whistled. Seeing them had put me in a very good mood, as I was planning a Crabbe/Goyle fic at that time, and the whistling made me feel very justified in doing this to them.

Wherein Harry and Ron discover that Goyle's got a small prick.

ETA: Oh, and that avatar icon? Disturbingly life-like. Especially the wine glass. And the lack of clothes.

Comments

[ellensmithee.livejournal.com]

Wherein Harry and Ron discover that Goyle's got a small prick

Not in the fic I'm writing right now. Poor, poor Draco. ;-)

BTW, did you see that the squick fest has a comm now? hp_squick_fest.

[donnaimmaculata.livejournal.com]

I have applied for membership. I hope Dani'll approve ;-)

And Draco really loves it. Slut the he is.

[ellensmithee.livejournal.com]

He's learning to love it. Soon he won't be able to get enough. He's a size queen in the making.

[donnaimmaculata.livejournal.com]

He's used to Daddy's cane, after all.

[idiotic-savant.livejournal.com]

Speaking from my experiences, it's the lumbering, stupid guys who are usually packing the most, er, meat. I think it's some kind of Divine overcompensation.

Love the icon. You look so decadent with the wine and the nekkidness and the straight hair parted in the middle. Mmmm.

[ellensmithee.livejournal.com]

*sigh* I want to work on that fic now. Instead I have to get Ron and Draco's marriage consummated. 1800 words already and they won't stop bickering.

[donnaimmaculata.livejournal.com]

Speaking from my experiences, it's the lumbering, stupid guys who are usually packing the most, er, meat.

Shame, isn't it? Though I've also met one or two (or three) skinny guys who were favoured by nature in that respect.

Goyle is a growing boy. He'll have his, ah, growth spurt some time soon.

Love the icon. You look so decadent with the wine and the nekkidness and the straight hair parted in the middle. Mmmm.

Heh! Cheers! I was naked when I posted it, too. And my hair really is straight and neatly parted and fair.

*gets herself a glass of wine*

[donnaimmaculata.livejournal.com]

How very inconsiderate of them. But I'm sure you'll manage to convince them in the end.

I want to work on my threesome fic, but I really should get my work done *sighs*

[babycakesin.livejournal.com]

I have to ask, because I've seen them all around and I forgot the link: where do you make those avatars?

[donnaimmaculata.livejournal.com]

Here:

http://illustmaker.abi-station.com/index_en.shtml

I bookmarked it, cleverly, because I would have forgotten it in a hurry ;-)

BTW, the Peter fic is gone. It's not on my old computer, and I can't think of any other archive where I might have posted it. *sighs* I will have to ask ballyharnon whether the fest page has moved again, because I do want the fic back!

[babycakesin.livejournal.com]

I'll check on my CDs, I might have it somewhere

Thanks for the link!

[donnaimmaculata.livejournal.com]

Ooh, that'd be great!

I've burned the file containing it some time ago before deleting it, but I can't access the CD for some reason.

[donnaimmaculata.livejournal.com]

But - I'm being stupid. The fic's most certainly in the mail attachement in Outlook. I'm almost positive I haven't deleted the mails!

*goes off to check*

[soawen.livejournal.com]

I think you just answered your own quetion of what we would come up with next. It's always like this: you start it, and my brain can't resist, but not this time, I tell you! Not this time! No Goyle's prick being used to fuck stuff the keyhole to Draco's dorm so no one can peep in on Crabbe and Malfoy Jr! Absolutely not!

[donnaimmaculata.livejournal.com]

Oh, good! Because I'm really running out of medication time for fooling around. So there will be no theorising on how Draco secretly renames the 'keyhole' into 'glory hole' and how he pimps out his henchmen to pleasure whatever appendixes (human or otherwise) are stuck through it.

[soawen.livejournal.com]

Then I won't mention Pomfrey's surprise for the sudden need of painkilling ointments and the House Elves' surprise that the formerly often creaking key hole no longer needs oiling.

[donnaimmaculata.livejournal.com]

You better not. Because had you brought up the house-elves, I would have wondered how many of their, um, fingers exactly would fit through the hole simultaneously.

[soawen.livejournal.com]

As many angles who can dance on the head of a pin

Thank you for not wondering about that, for then I would have been forced to conclude that male House Elves have no genitalia where they should be, but have them located on their hands, and that would be rather disturbing given how much Crabbe and Goyle loves the Elves' home made cream cakes.

[donnaimmaculata.livejournal.com]

I am scared now. Because I have recently written a fic where Mrs. Black points out that Kreacher makes the best custard cream in London.

It is a good thing we're not entertaining such thoughts. Otherwise I would begin to wonder whether there is actually a difference between male and female house-elves and whether the, ah, substance they produce in their fingers does not serve the double-purpose of inseminating each other as well as feeding their babies.

[soawen.livejournal.com]

Who would ever dream of suggesting that House Elves ironing their fingers are not as much a punishment as a way of birth control? Drying it out, so to speak?

[donnaimmaculata.livejournal.com]

I died after reading this. Died, I tell you!

*is still very, very dead*

[soawen.livejournal.com]

Right now I wish my imagination was too ;)

[donnaimmaculata.livejournal.com]

I will regret having said this, but: We need your imagination. It rox!!!11

[soawen.livejournal.com]

strike>It rox!!!11 As long as it doesn't do it on Dobby's ... fingers

We have yours. I believe your imagination is more than enough to keep the world burried in Bush-Sues ;)

[donnaimmaculata.livejournal.com]

You provoke me to come up with horrible, horrible scenarios. And then you come up with even more horrible ones, and I have to die and die again. Is this a healthy relationship, I wonder?

[soawen.livejournal.com]

Of course it is. I can always revive you with my hand and a bit of Dobby's nononononono Harry's blood. Yes. Harry's blood and Voldemort's father's bones.

[donnaimmaculata.livejournal.com]

Oh well. If you say so. But only if you keep away Dobby's... everything. Especially his, um, hands. After this conversation, I take Voldemort's fathers bones over Dobby's hands anytime!

[soawen.livejournal.com]

Actually I think we should stay away from Dobby and his people for the future. I will never be able to think about Hogwarts food the same way again.

[donnaimmaculata.livejournal.com]

That is the best idea ever. Let's see for how long we'll manage to keep it up, shall we?

And it's not as though Dobby and his lot were the only ones with, ah, unusual physical attributes.

[soawen.livejournal.com]

Oh no, you don't! *runs away*