Hi, I found your blog through linguaphiles. Hope you don't mind me commenting.
I quite enjoyed your post here; I don't think you're cranky, and I'm a self-proclaimed hopeless romantic, and I do believe "love conquers all!" I think you're realistic -- and I'm glad you challenge gender roles prescribed by what we read/saw in fairy tales as young girls, and the creepiness of a dominant male character being in love with a much younger girl (in the Austen novels). Perhaps in that era and social strata, though, that was the relationship trend? Wasn't a perfect relationship between a young woman who could bear children and an older man who'd become financially established? I agree, though creepy...
I can relate to that feeling of being absorbed in such feelings of likeness to someone else that you feel omnipotent. I would associate those feelings, however, with teenaged puppy love or with the passing infatuation of new love. Studies have shown that the chemicals that convince people of feeling 'so in love' last for about two years. And then "the real work" in a relationship/marriage begins after these feelings have passed.
And then people have to communicate on a mature level, barter their needs, etc. in order to make things work -- or to really connect as two mature adults.
I do think that although a good connection can begin with love at first sight, that's all it is at that moment: a good connection ( a good connection can also be borne out of witty banter, shared passions, etc). A good relationship is borne out of hard work -- and I think that's what you're needing to read in your literature to believe in the relationships of the characters.
Also -- the small feet thing in Cinderella. I remember reading that originally this was a Chinese fairy tale where small feet are considered feminine because of the foot-binding movement. Which also makes me think of inequality in a relationship. A woman whose feet are bound can't run away from an abusive husband, or for that matter can't really get around anywhere very quickly so must rely on others to help her around...
Anywho, enjoyed the read muchly, and it spurned on a lot of thoughts that I felt compelled to share.
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2007-01-10 06:04 am (UTC)I quite enjoyed your post here; I don't think you're cranky, and I'm a self-proclaimed hopeless romantic, and I do believe "love conquers all!"
I think you're realistic -- and I'm glad you challenge gender roles prescribed by what we read/saw in fairy tales as young girls, and the creepiness of a dominant male character being in love with a much younger girl (in the Austen novels).
Perhaps in that era and social strata, though, that was the relationship trend? Wasn't a perfect relationship between a young woman who could bear children and an older man who'd become financially established? I agree, though creepy...
I can relate to that feeling of being absorbed in such feelings of likeness to someone else that you feel omnipotent. I would associate those feelings, however, with teenaged puppy love or with the passing infatuation of new love. Studies have shown that the chemicals that convince people of feeling 'so in love' last for about two years. And then "the real work" in a relationship/marriage begins after these feelings have passed.
And then people have to communicate on a mature level, barter their needs, etc. in order to make things work -- or to really connect as two mature adults.
I do think that although a good connection can begin with love at first sight, that's all it is at that moment: a good connection ( a good connection can also be borne out of witty banter, shared passions, etc). A good relationship is borne out of hard work -- and I think that's what you're needing to read in your literature to believe in the relationships of the characters.
Also -- the small feet thing in Cinderella. I remember reading that originally this was a Chinese fairy tale where small feet are considered feminine because of the foot-binding movement. Which also makes me think of inequality in a relationship. A woman whose feet are bound can't run away from an abusive husband, or for that matter can't really get around anywhere very quickly so must rely on others to help her around...
Anywho, enjoyed the read muchly, and it spurned on a lot of thoughts that I felt compelled to share.
- _a_