I see full crotches

[donnaimmaculata]

Ever since I started playing in the Hornblower fandom, I've been trying to acquire some factual information about the Age of Sail, because I know nothing about seafaring whatsoever, nevermind the Royal Navy in the 18th century. I can just about tell where a ship ends and the sea begins; and seeing as I want to add some details to potential fics rather than have them shag in a fictional vacuum, I try to at least check what the uniforms looked like so that they can be taken off in a convincing manner.

I am distracted by all those crotches*. I mean, seriously, what the hell is going on here?


I mean, I'm not a stranger to crotches. I've seen Pride and Prejudice:

I must admit, I've always found this scene very disturbing.

Canonically, Hornblower has this gem to offer:

Look at his crotch and tell me that's not a wet spot right there! (Bear in mind that Horatio has just come from Archie's room, where Archie is being all bedridden and vulnerable.)

ETA: I forgot him. How could I have forgotten him?


*I'm currently writing fic. In order to get it right, I did a quick google image search for "French uniforms". It brought that painting to my attention, and so I spent 15 minutes taking caps and uploading pictures to illustrate my point. At this rate, I will never finish anything, ever!

Comments

[midnitemaraud-r.livejournal.com]

Hahahahahaha! Of course you are! It is, after all, very distracting.

[donnaimmaculata.livejournal.com]

Seriously, do they have to be that, um, bulgy?!

[midnitemaraud-r.livejournal.com]

That has to be photoshopped, right? Please tell me it was photoshopped!! :-P

[donnaimmaculata.livejournal.com]

Hee! It's scary, isn't it?

Allegedly, this is a Disneyland pirate. I find this hard to believe, but like the idea a lot.

[asphodeline.livejournal.com]

Most distracting!! and definitely a wet patch ;)

[donnaimmaculata.livejournal.com]

definitely a wet patch

It is, isn't it? I don't know, this show does all it can: wet spots, naked bottoms in a pile of murdered sailors, suspiciously unbuttoned trousers in the throes of battle, men gazing into each other's eyes adoringly and carrying each other through the rain... The brainstorming sessions must have been awesome.

[rikibeth.livejournal.com]

Hey, look at this! You're here! Happy to see you!

[eglantine-br.livejournal.com]

That last one... He might as well be naked! I cannot wait to read your next piece. Persevere!

[donnaimmaculata.livejournal.com]

That last one is very, very, very wrong.

I'm on the brink of getting them alone together. Progress!

[eglantine-br.livejournal.com]

Husband is sitting on sofa nearby. He knows I am on LJ right now. I just said to him

"Do you want to see something disturbing?"

Him: "No." (With side-eyes.)

[donnaimmaculata.livejournal.com]

He sounds like a very sensible man (apart from the side-eyes).

[thistle-chaser.livejournal.com]

Wow, that last one... why's he bothering with pants at all?

[donnaimmaculata.livejournal.com]

Hee! Funnily enough, I've been convinced you were the person who first brought that picture to my attention. Obviously my mind goes: Pirate in pervy pants = Thistle's LJ.

[thistle-chaser.livejournal.com]

Ha! Nope, I can't take credit for that one. :D

[eglantine-br.livejournal.com]

I can't imagine the poor actor even knew. Seriously.

[donnaimmaculata.livejournal.com]

Probably not. He cringes every time someone points it out to him (and someone always will).

[mylodon.livejournal.com]

That spot on Horatio's pants has bugged simce I first saw D&D.

[donnaimmaculata.livejournal.com]

I'd love to know whether it was intentional or accidental (subliminal?).

[anteros-lmc.livejournal.com]

Judging by Kitty Cobham's expression, it's bugging her too! ;)

[donnaimmaculata.livejournal.com]

Kitty probably slashes Archie and Horatio, too. She's seen them being affectionate (and wet) in bed-related situations, after all ;-)

[anteros-lmc.livejournal.com]

'Course she does. Kitty is a woman of the world *nods*

[donnaimmaculata.livejournal.com]

After all, slashing young nubile lieutenants is what women of the world do.

[anteros-lmc.livejournal.com]

"In high places and in low" ;)

[donnaimmaculata.livejournal.com]

I want Kitty/Archie/Horatio threesome now! They both had a crush on her, Archie during his mysterious Drury Lane years and Horatio during the long walks and "conversations"... I'm sure she'd be happy to oblige.

[anteros-lmc.livejournal.com]

I'm sure she would! I can't believe no one has written Horatio/Archie/Kitty but I don't remember every coming across any! Feel free to rectify that....No knowledge of ships required ;)

[donnaimmaculata.livejournal.com]

You know, I've started writing it in my head on my way to work this morning. Haven't reached the porny bit yet, but I've got the setting all set.

[anteros-lmc.livejournal.com]

Run little plot bunny! Run! ;)

[donnaimmaculata.livejournal.com]

I know where they are and how it begins, but I don't know how the porn happens! I will have to, ah, give it some more thought.

[anteros-lmc.livejournal.com]

I say! Is that last pic from a porn film? Y'know, like a proper porn film, rather than costumedrama!porn or navyboy!porn.

Obviously it doesn't take much imagination to ascertain what thosegentlemen wore under their breeches, however if you are concerned about historial detail I have a whole series of posts on naval knickers here.

[donnaimmaculata.livejournal.com]

For years, I've been convinced I had come across that picture on thistle_chaser's LJ, with the explanation that it's a genuine Disneyland pirate. But Thistle denies having anything to do with it - and I'm sure she would take credit, if she could. So now I've no idea where this is from!

Oh, your naval knickers discussions look most educational. And of course Messrs. Bush and Hornblower in your icon are discussing this topic, too.

[nodbear.livejournal.com]

Always a great topic on LJ - Anteros I think already mentioned that the official portrsits of Edward Pellew are - er - illuminating in this area and they lurking in several past posts on following sea if you have not seem them..
... it is an Age of Sail aspect that possibly will not lightly be fullyn studied - and will always need close exmaination :)

[donnaimmaculata.livejournal.com]

Oh yes, Sir Edward's famous portraits! They certainly contribute a lot to the pleasure of researching the Age of Sail in its manifold aspects.