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donnaimmaculataHere's part one of the commentary. I might post part two later today.
The story can be found at the Snape Fuh-Q Fest
The Last Resort
I suck at titles. I do. In "The Truth", Terry Pratchett says about William de Worde that he "wasn't good at getting the huge complexities of the world into fewer than half a dozen words." That's me all right.
"... and there's the traitor, coming and going in my mistress's house as he pleases, Kreacher knows he betrayed the Dark Lord, but he can't stop him from entering the house, oh no, not when master lets him in, disgraceful nasty bastard master is, not worthy of baring the noble name of Black. Coming back from Azkaban where he belonged, he and his bunch of blood traitors and half-breeds, to befoul his mother's house. Oh his poor mother, how -"
"Silencio."
It seems a logical reaction to Kreacher's babbling. And Severus has no scruples to silence him with a hex.
The cold silky voice cut short the house-elf's muttering, who pressed his hands to his wide-open mouth in horror, his pale eyes bulging.
"I'll see myself inside, no need to trouble you longer", Severus Snape said smoothly proceeding towards the kitchen door in long strides. "I assume your... master is in there, helping himself to the supply of Old Odgen's and having a jolly good time with his friend Fletcher." He threw the door open, glaring menacingly inside.
His glare, however, was wasted on a few Doxys who, banished from the upper rooms, had widely retreated to the kitchen, and were now fighting for the best nesting places in the old, threadbare curtains. Snape eyed them for a moment.
"Pathetic", he muttered, turning away. "Elf! I need you to fetch your master. And stop pulling faces on me or I shall make the Silencing Charm permanent", he added with a dirty look at the terrified Kreacher who was writhing on the floor, frantically opening and closing his mouth like a fish out of water.
Pointing his wand at the elf, Snape muttered "Finite Incantatem", and prodded Kreacher with the tip of his wand. "Well? What are you waiting for? Bring me to your master. Now!"
While I try to write Severus as canonical as possible, I am guilty of smoothing away the character traits I don't like. I feel My!Snape is cooler and more in control of himself than canon!Snape and less prone to throw temper tantrums. Except when it comes to Sirius, but that's an entirely different matter. I don't think canon!Snape would prod Kreacher with his wand and I don't think he would insist on seeing Sirius at this stage. But for my personal pleasure, I had to force a confrontation between them.
Kreacher nodded mutely and hurried to the stairs, closely followed by Snape, whose swishing cloak caused whole armadas of decade-old dust to rise from the floor.
The distance to Buckbeak's quarters in Mrs. Black's old bedroom was covered in complete silence, and the satisfaction of having taught the elf a lesson almost made Snape smile. But he settled for his customary sneer instead when Kreacher opened the door for him and scurried away hurriedly, starting muttering curses as soon as he though he was out of earshot.
Here's another example of characterisation I consider uncanonical: I don't think canon!Snape actually tries to be menacing; he simply is. And I don't think he would be pleased about an action as insignificant as hexing a house-elf. It wouldn't occur to him to show a reaction, to be amused of gleeful. But My!Snape shows a greater capability of introspection - and self-irony - than I contribute to canon!Snape.
The sweetish stench of blood and rotting meat hit his sinuses with a heavy blow and Snape gagged. He recovered in time, though, and assumed his most haughty expression before stepping into the once magnificent, now decaying room. The Hippogriff lay on the bed, half hidden behind the remainder of the curtains, and next to the beast lay... well, the other beast. Padfoot was curled up in a tight ball, pressed against the Hippogriff's side, and Snape had just time enough to marvel on the unique opportunity to throw the insult in Black's face that he was sleeping with his nose pressed against his own bottom, when the dog raised his head and leapt from the bed, changing smoothly into a man in mid-jump.
I love the interaction between Sirius (man and dog) and Buckbeak. I wish Rowling had shown us more. One reason for my liking Sirius is because from what we know he seems to be good with animals. Crookshanks likes him and so does Buckbeak, and they're both rather picky, I would say. There is something so very touching about the fact that Buckbeak was Sirius' closest companion for at least that one year they were on the run. And I pity Buckbeak so, so much for having been trapped in that room for one year at least. Poor sweetie.
"Das also ist des Pudels Kern", Snape recited at the sight of the other man's pale face framed by dark untidy hair. Black's eyes were glowing from their deep sockets and his entire appearance was, indeed, more than Mephistophelic.
"Whom do you call a poodle?" he growled in a hoarse voice.
'Poodle' was one of the words assigned to me in the challenge. I don't remember when the idea to use Goethe presented itself, but it was very soon during the planning process. Strangely, there seem to be many people in the fandom who like the idea of Severus speaking German. Maybe because of Hans Gruber? Or because German is such a good language to torture in and comes in handy during Death Eater revels? Canonically, it seems almost impossible for witches and wizards to learn a foreign language, as none are taught at Hogwarts, and I can't think of a reason why Severus should read (and memorise) a German Muggle drama. Well, at least "Faust" deals with matters of magic.
Snape's upper lip curled up unpleasantly. "I should have known that you wouldn't be familiar with the finest in world literature", he said silkily. "Although one might have thought that she", he made a wide gesture indicating the room, "would have developed a more holistic approach to your education as to make you at least somewhat of an accomplished gentleman."
There go the other two words from the challenge: 'holistic' and 'gentleman.' The problem was that these words are so very versatile and I couldn't really use them to build a story around them: they don't determine a plot and don't require a particular setting. So I ended up not writing a story around my assigned words but using the words within a random story line. With 'poodle' the matter was different; it cannot be squeezed in into a randomly existing dialogue and I had to create a context to fit it in.
Black stared at him in silence, and for a few minutes, both men glared daggers at each other. Their mute battle was interrupted by Buckbeak, whose strange sneezing noise made both men jump, wands raised.
Black spoke first. "Surely, you don't grace me with your presence to discuss literature with me, Snape? What is it this time? Are you here to whine about how you're forced to associate with your Death Eater friends - the only friends you've ever had in your life, I might add - and how your former acquaintances are now giving you a hard time? Or is there actually a point in your harassing me?"
"Believe me, I can think of hundreds of other places I'd rather be than this... den", Snape looked around in disgust, "but unfortunately, while you are spending your time most comfortably in safety and seclusion, I am risking my life on a daily basis to gather information that will help Dumbledore -" he broke off at the expression of Black's bloodless, hollow face, while the other man was advancing at him, holding his wand in an outstretched hand.
Ah, the obligatory Snape/Black insult match.
"Spare me!" Black spat. "Just tell me whatever it is and get out of my house! Unlike you, I've never formed acquaintances among Voldemort's lot, who would now be in position to save my arse from his wrath!"
"No, you never have", purred Snape silkily, his eyes firmly at Black's wand tip that was sending off red sparks. "Your friends have always been above any suspicion. Oh, but I forgot", he tilted his head and stared directly into Black's eyes, "you have suspected the werewolf once, haven't you? And have decided to trust your friend Pettigrew instead. That must have made you immensely proud of your own cleverness - for about ten minutes!"
Severus hits where it hurts. Severus knows where it hurts because he understands Sirius so very well, even though he's not aware of it. What I like about post-OotP Snape/Black is the fact that they are both at the same level when it comes to being damaged and messed up. They hate each other with a passion, but had they stopped for breath for a moment and thought things through, they could realise that they have very much in common. And while in RL, I don't believe that having things in common with another person would necessarily make you understand or like them, it is a good enough basis for me to write fanfiction upon.
In the next moment, Snape threw his head back, narrowly avoiding being hit by the curse Black had sent his way. His own wand arm had come up in a flash and his "Expelliarmus!" sent Black flying backwards and stumbling to the floor. However, Black had grasped a handful of Snape's robes and pulled the other man back with him. They landed on the floor in a cloud of dust.
The obligatory pre-sexual physical contact. Of course they fight. And of course they're turned on by it. Do I have to elaborate?
Black's head hit the ground with a loud thud, but, unlike Snape, after two years on the run he was more accustomed to the concept of physical attacks and reacted instinctively within an instance. Flexing his muscles, he arched off the floor and rolled over and atop Snape. Snape's head collided painfully with the bedstead, causing Buckbeak to toss his head irritably with a soft, croaking sound. A gnawed rat bone fell from the bed and landed next to Snape's face.
Sirius, though thin and emaciated, is physically stronger than Severus, who has led an academic's life and used his wand and house-elves for lifting heavy things.
"Sharing your meals with the beast, are you", Snape panted in a raspy voice, hardly able to breathe with his ribcage being squashed by Black. "But then again - your taste for monsters has always been legendary..."
The 'monster' Severus refers to is Remus, of course. Like so many others, Severus assumes that Sirius and Remus used to be/are lovers. They are not, in this universe. I had intended to write much more interaction between Sirius and Remus where this would be clarified, but, um, I didn't.
Black's left hand entangled itself in Snape's greasy hair and he made a sudden movement as though trying to push the other's head up and crash his skull against the floor, but at this very moment, an ear-splitting cry pierced the silence as Mrs. Black's portrait sprang to life.
They were too far away to distinguish single words, but the high-pitched screams, easily penetrating the more sensitive ears of a Hippogriff, made Buckbeak leap up on his bed and start screeching angrily.
Looking slightly embarrassed, Black loosened his grip on Snape and slowly rose to his feet. Snape hoisted himself into a sitting position, rubbing his elbow with a pained expression on his face, and his eyes fell on the doorway. He froze.
Black turned his head around sharply and saw Remus Lupin and Kingsley Shacklebolt standing in the door, gaping at the scene displayed before their eyes with identically incredulous expression on their faces.
Kingsley was initially supposed to get more screen time. He never did because I can't get into a character I know nothing about. Well, I could invent a whole history for him, but in that case I would feel as though writing an OC. I need canon facts to base my characterisation upon.
Snape moved first. Snakelike, he glided to his feet and brushed himself off, flicking his black hair out of his eyes, thin-lipped and silent. Lupin cleared his throat.
"What the hell are you doing here?" Black and Lupin uttered the question in unison. Shacklebolt's mouth twitched suspiciously.
Kingsley doesn't know the other three men well, but he had enough time to realise that there is a lot of tension between them. At this early stage of their acquaintance, he finds it amusing rather than anything else.
"We heard shouts and what sounded like some serious fighting", explained Lupin, while Black turned his attention to Buckbeak, getting hold of his leather collar and trying to pat his neck in a comforting manner. "We didn't realise that it was only you two having a friendly conversation." Black cast him a venomous glance.
Remus is pissed off. It is one of the things I am not happy about throughout the entire fic. Had I written more Sirius/Remus interaction, I could have clarified it, but as it is, his aggressive stance is way off. This was also one of the very first fics I've written, and I was still looking for My!Remus. I knew that I didn't want to make him all mild and sweet and enduring (because he isn't), and so I made him aggressive instead. A bad choice, and MyCurrent!Remus and I only shake our heads about it.
"If you are quite finished", Snape said, brushing past Shacklebolt who was still standing quietly in the door, "I would rather like a word, downstairs. It concerns you, too", he added with a look at Lupin and disappeared in the dim hallway.
Buckbeak's mismatched feet hit the floor with a shattering noise in the Hippogriff's vain attempt to free himself from Black's grip. "Get out of here!" the man growled angrily at Shacklebolt and Lupin, who had started towards him to help handling the animal. The portrait downstairs was still wailing and shouting in blood-freezing tones, and on top of everything, the general mayhem suddenly got penetrated by Kreacher's insane babbling as the elf stopped in the hall muttering insults under his breath. Black snapped.
I'd like to point out that there is no passage all throughout OotP where Sirius actually snaps. (Apart from his dealing with Snape, but there it is mutual.) He is severely provoked many times, if only by people alternately pointing out that he's not allowed to stir out of the house or accusing him of cowardice because he stays in the house, and still, he restrains himself from even so much as shouting in righteous rage. I know that OotP Sirius is seriously damaged, but I think he's got himself together much better than most people give him credit for.
"Get out of here! Out! OUT!" he roared, face contorted with rage. He continued tagging on the Hippogriff's collar while at the same time, trying to shove both Lupin and Shacklebolt away with his free hand. Buckbeak reared and the worn leather snapped. His deadly talons clawed the air and he flattered his mighty wings helplessly, constricted by walls and ceiling. Black pushed Lupin hard in the chest and sent him tumbling into Shacklebolt, who was already retreating towards the door, both hands raised in an appeasing gesture.
Lupin's eyes flashed. He leapt forward and smashed Black against the wall with a dull thud. "You listen to me now! You won't let out your frustration on any of us!" His voice was barely more than a whisper, but with each word, he was crashing Black against wooden panelling with a brutality that threatened to crush Black's spine.
Pissed-off!Remus strikes again. There is a whole background story for these two, which, sadly, never got written.
None of them noticed when Shacklebolt left.
II.
Severus Snape was standing by the kitchen table and his straight posture and disgusted expression were clearly indicating that he was afraid of contaminating himself at the mere contact with any part of the Blacks' kitchen interior. Even his breathing was shallow as though he thought the surrounding air was toxic. Shacklebolt had positioned himself by the mantelpiece, his tall, dark-clad figure successfully fading into the shadow. Both men were ignoring each other pointedly.
Severus doesn't really like anyone in the Order, and Kingsley is not the man to launch into idle small talk when he knows it wouldn't be welcome. I quite like the description of Severus' very physical reaction to the Blacks' kitchen.
Lupin and Black entered the room a few minutes later. Black let his long unkempt hair deliberately fall into his face and only his eyes were burning from behind the dark veil, while Lupin held his head up high, his face carefully blank. Snape's expression turned even more acidic.
"Sit down", Snape said in a strained voice and with a grimace which indicated that talking to them caused him physical pain; he barely moved his teeth apart. Black's jaw line went rigid and he squared his shoulders, but remained silent. He did not sit down, though.
It is Sirius' house. He won't have Severus give him orders.
Lupin and Shacklebolt likewise decided that sitting would create an atmosphere of too much camaraderie. For a few minutes, all four men remained silent, throwing hostile, calculating looks at one another.
There is also a background story on Kingsley and Sirius' relationship. See, Kingsley ended up dating the girl Sirius liked. (Viola DeVerre. Fabulous breasts.) According to A Measure of Darkness, Kingsley was also in charge of Sirius' Auror class. However, I am not happy with this, either, because I think Kingsley is actually younger than Sirius.
"Very well", Snape said at last. "As you all know well enough, I was asked by Dumbledore to re-inaugurate some older connections, which will allow me to gather information about the status quo of the preparations in the Dark Lord's camp."
The obligatory action/adventure part. I refuse to believe that Snape could walk right back into Voldemort's inner circle and spy comfily from within. It's just so stupid. Even if Voldemort would be naïve enough to believe him, I just don't see the other Death Eaters to be equally easily fooled. I mean, Severus has worked for Dumbledore for more than a dozen years. Puh-lease! I am willing to believe that he knows most valuable sources of information because he knows the right sort of people, knows who used to hang around Voldemort and so on. But participating in Voldemort's meetings in person? I don't see it. On the other hand, there's of course the fact that Lucius Malfoy has been chummy with the Ministry guys and Macnair has worked for the Ministry during all these years, so maybe Voldemort does take his Death Eaters back on good faith? But still. Snape sneaking out in the dead of night to attend the Dark Lord's meetings (where he is tortured and raped for the sake of TEH Healing Sex with Harry/Remus/Hermione) just feels so tacky.
"Spy, you mean. We all know the word, you sneaky bastard! How often have you changed side, I wonder? How often will you?"
Snape chose to haughtily ignore Black's remark, but his right hand twitched suspiciously towards the pocket holding his wand. "Not much information has been gained yet. I learned, however, that the Dark Lord's supporters know exactly about the oh-so-clever disguise he", with a nod towards Black, "has used so successfully. It would therefore not be advisable for him to leave this place unless he wants to end up in the hands of people who would gladly deliver him to either Fudge or He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, both of which alternatives would surely be less than pleasant."
"Are you saying that I'm to continue hiding here, in this godforsaken place, while everyone else is out there, doing useful work for the Order?" Black snorted incredulously.
"I am saying no such thing", Snape's voice was smooth and sweet as honey. "It's Dumbledore's wish you shall remain unhurt. Merlin knows why", he added under his breath. "Apparently, he thinks you could be useful after all, in some way or another. He also seems to think that the Potter boy could do with an, ah, responsible father figure."
Severus loves bringing Sirius the bad news. It must have been at some point between GoF and OotP that they told Sirius not to leave the house. A few weeks before, when Albus sent Sirius away from Hogwarts to lie low at Lupin's, nobody seemed to think Sirius was a danger to himself or others when on the loose. Well done, Albus.
"This is all very well", Lupin said, interrupting Snape's silky gloating. "But surely, this is not the reason why you wanted us to meet you here. An owl would have done for this piece of news!"
Remus is right. This is all only a pretext on my part for bringing Sirius and Severus together...
"Your friend Pettigrew has apparently launched a little - well, I suppose you could say 'hunt' - to get rid of all people who knew about his Animagus form - and don't give me that look", he said sharply as Lupin opened his mouth to speak. "It seems Pettigrew wasn't very good at keeping secrets after all. He had bragged in front of his brother that he could turn into a rat, and Merlin knows where this guy let it slip in turn! I wasn't able to determine who else knows of Black's canine talents, but there's a considerable risk that Pettigrew didn't remain silent on this matter, either."
...So I had to puff up this little bit of information and add some more details explaining why Severus would be forced to actually talk to them in person.
"His brother, then", Shacklebolt's deep soothing voice reverberated through the room. "I don't think he had the opportunity to tell it many people. We have been observing him since Sirius's escape. He seemed a likely victim", he explained in a steady voice meeting Black's eyes levelly, "you were supposedly deranged and murderous."
Ah, Kingsley! He's so cool.
Black's mouth curled up in a brief mirthless smile.
"He was a Squib, wasn't he", Lupin said pensively. "It seems very unlikely that anyone would believe his story, in any case - as far as I know he went to live with Muggles. Became a taxi driver. His father never quite recovered from the shock."
Remus knows that detailed knowledge of others is a weapon. He listens and he remembers.
"How do you know all these things?" Black asked astounded. Lupin smiled.
Sirius thinks that people who are beneath him are not worth his attention. Underestimating people has been his downfall twice: in case of Peter and in case of Kreacher.
"I did listen to Peter, you know, Sirius", he said calmly.
"Not well enough, apparently", Black bristled at the unspoken approach. "You should have paid more attention to what he was saying and to whom he was saying it -"
"As fascinating as it is to witness your reminiscent get-together", cut in Snape, "it'll do for now. I'm sure you'll have plenty of time for a friendly chat later.
"As I was saying, Pettigrew's brother was aware of the secret. Consequently, he had to die. It would be highly unwise of your friend to let him stay alive - he could have been used as a witness to release Black from his charges."
"If you don't stop calling him our friend this instant, I swear I will feed your foul tongue to Buckbeak", Black said in a very low and even voice.
"One day", Lupin's voice sounded uncharacteristically venomous, "I will gladly watch you two having a go at each other. At the moment, however, we cannot afford losing either of you, so would you please keep your hostility at bay as much possible."
Shacklebolt raised one eyebrow, surprised at Lupin's unusual edginess, and turned to Snape. "You spoke of a 'hunt'. This implies there are more people Pettigrew will want to silent. Do you know of any?"
"As I said, I haven't gathered any more information regarding individual victims yet. But I thought it wisest to inform you before the next meeting of the Order that the Animagus secrets are no longer quite as secret. Some people", a nasty glance at Black, "are known to act on impulse and might find it tempting to take unnecessary risks. And we have to create a plan that will help us save the lives of people who might just have been unfortunate enough to be among Pettigrew's listeners. Can you two think of anyone he was in touch with?"
Snape and Lupin exchanged a long look. Black shifted uncomfortably, sighed and sat down heavily, flattening his palms against the worn surface of the table. "I don't know. He didn't have many friends, at school. And later - we weren't that much in touch, only through the Order, really. But it isn't very likely he told anyone in the Order, especially if he was already working for Voldemort. You're better informed, Remus, can you think of anyone he could have spoken to?"
Sirius didn't really like Peter. He didn't mind him (much), but he didn't necessarily want him to stick around when they left Hogwarts. Yes, I know, I love it when authors include Peter as part of the group. Unfortunately, the flashback scene shows that James and Sirius treated Peter like an idiot and that he behaved like one. Now, I think that it is quite in character for a boy like Sirius - rich, clever, handsome, quick-thinking, arrogant - to despise an insecure, slow-thinking boy like Peter, but still to like him to hang around and provide applause. His relationship with Peter is more one of owner and pet than one between equals.
Lupin shook his head and followed Black's example to take a seat. "Members of the Order are obviously quite out of the question. We don't know anything about his contacts among Voldemort's supporters, obviously, and they know about Padfoot and Wormtail anyway. He was seeing this girl, just before I went to the Continent - you know, on this mission for Dumbledore - but I don't remember her name. Clarissa, I think... No. Larissa."
"Wormtail was seeing a girl? Now, that's news", Black made no effort to mask the sarcasm in his voice. "But he surely didn't show her the rat if he tried to impress her. It would be rather counterproductive."
Sirius can't imagine that Peter could have formed any kind of relationship not based on pity.
"Does Voldemort believe the story Kingsley was feeding the Daily Prophet about Sirius's having been spotted in, what, Honolulu?" Lupin cut in quickly before Snape could open his mouth to speak.
"I don't think so. Believe it or not, Black isn't the Dark Lord's main concern. He frankly doesn't care much about what Black is doing."
Why should he? Sirius is in enough trouble as it is.
"I'll try to find out about Pettigrew's contacts. After his assumed death, the Ministry had compiled a record about him and I'm sure I can gain access to it," said Shacklebolt.
"That's exactly why I wanted an Auror to be informed - you can act where none of us can. I'm done. I found it important to tell you about the danger resulting in Pettigrew's secret-keeping abilities straightaway, and I was asked by Albus to make Black realise the danger he's in when he leaves the house, but the rest can wait until the next meeting. There's nothing more that concerns you directly."
Shacklebolt nodded a curt 'Goodbye' and was gone, closely followed by Snape, who did not waste the opportunity to offer Black a last disdainful look. Lupin and Black remained alone.
"Sirius -"
OK, part of the problem is, I don't see Sirius and Remus assuming the old friendship without any bitterness on either side. And the resolve of the mutual misunderstandings and coming to terms with the past falls exactly in this short period between GoF and OotP, which we are not shown. (Also known as "Lie Low at Lupin's.) At the end of PoA, emotions are running high and they fall back into the old school pattern of It's Us Against The Rest Of The World to deal with the situation, and in OotP, they have already dealt with it. My goal in this fic was to imply that they have not settled their issues yet at this point.
"Spare me, Remus. Just - spare me!" Black raised up so suddenly that his chair crashed to the floor. "I'm going to feed Buckbeak."
The kitchen door slammed shut behind him. Lupin remained seated for a long time, staring into the falling darkness with unseeing eyes.
Standard Lupin reaction. I have him staring into the darkness whenever he is upset, the poor soul.
III.
"Oh. Look what the elf dragged in."
"The pleasure's all mine. As you understand, I'm not particularly interested in remaining in this house any minute longer than necessary. I'll only write a report for Albus and be gone."
Obligatory Snape/Black snark.
Snape had entered the kitchen unceremoniously and seated himself at the table from where he glared down at Black, who half-lay on the floor in front of the fireplace with a glass of whisky in his hand. Black ignored him.
I love the image of a dishevelled Sirius, spread out on the floor and drinking whisky. He should be smoking, too.
For a few minutes, the scrapping of quill on parchment was the only noise. Snape was writing swiftly, showing Black his right profile with the long hooked nose and the determined chin. He stopped on the soft sound of ice cubes tinkling against glass.
Snape is not pretty. But a long hooked nose is not necessarily an ugly attribute, and a determined chin is a good thing.
Black had just helped himself to more whisky and was putting down the bottle, when Snape spoke in a voice laden with sweet mock-concern: "How you can go so long with nothing else to do than drinking your mother's supply of Firewhisky is beyond me."
"How you can go so long without washing your hair is beyond me." Black was just drunk enough to deliver the insult in an absurdly polite tone. He shifted a little, propped himself back on his elbows and, tilting his head back, observed Snape from half-lidded eyes.
A thin cruel smile appeared on Snape's mouth. "Your hair wouldn't exactly win you any contest, either", he whispered softly. "I remember that used to be different, once. Tell me, Black, what is it like to have a hollow, emaciated phantom look back at oneself in the mirror?"
Again, Severus knows where it hurts. I think young Sirius wasn't fully aware of his unstudied beauty and elegance but he grew very aware of it in his late teens/early twenties and the loss was more painful than he would ever admit, even to himself.
"Look who's asking. You know the answer to this question well enough, Snape."
"This might well be. But unlike yourself, I have never been a reputed beauty. I understand the loss might weight rather heavily." Talking, Snape had leaned forward until the hem of his cloak brushed against Black's foot. Black's bare foot, which now kicked against the leg of Snape's chair. Black gave a short laugh and placed his foot back on the floor, his legs slightly wider apart than before. Snape watched him expressionlessly.
Sirius offers himself. Severus knows and calculates the pros and cons.
"Care for a drink?"
"Excuse me?"
"Care for a drink? Surely you don't refuse a glass of good old Old Ogden's?"
"Why would I want to drink with you?"
"Whom else have you got to drink with?"
An odd expression flickered across Snape's face and Black knew he had a point.
Sirius also knows where to hit. They understand the respective other on a very basic level.
Snape shrugged. "All right." He watched Black Summon a clean glass and pour in the whisky before he spoke again. "You must be rather desperate if you are prepared to drink with me. Is Lupin not hanging around?"
Severus is asking whether Sirius is shagging Remus.
Black's face tensed. "You leave Remus out of this. This is between the two of us."
"Very well. I have no desire to talk about the werewolf tonight." He looked expectantly at Black. "Well?"
"Well what?"
"Well, aren't you giving me my drink?"
"You have to come and get it, you know."
Sirius might be offering himself, but he also wants something in return. He demands that Severus forgets his pride and takes a step towards him in turn.
Snape gave a derisive snort. "If you expect me to -" he broke off sneering down at Black and reached out his arm. Black shifted again, stretching his long body slightly, and his hand holding the glass disappeared from Snape's reach.
And so they meet in the middle.
Snape took up the challenge. He slid off his chair and, supporting his weight on his left arm, grabbed the glass with his right hand. He raised the glass, but made no effort to raise himself from the floor. Instead, he remained looming over Black.
And yet Severus still tries to dominate Sirius.
Black had been watching him lazily. He never broke the eye contact when Snape knocked back his drink, but tilted his head back even more, his lips slightly apart.
Sirius is begging for it. But he wants Severus to come to him.
"Don't you want raise a toast with me?"
Snape's black eyes narrowed maliciously. "You really are desperate, aren't you", he said very softly, a trace of triumph in his voice. "What else do you want me to do with you, I wonder?"
Slowly, he inched closer, until his slighter form was draped over Black's without quite touching, until he could see the frantic pulse on Black's white, exposed neck. Black remained silent, only his pale eyes glowed feverishly.
"I could feel you, you know", Snape continued in the same soft, oddly warm tone.
Black took a sip of his drink. "Feel me? What do you mean?"
"The day we fought. I could feel you." He snorted derisively. "Merlin, how desperate can one get?"
Black shifted uncomfortably, suddenly aware that he was trapped and that every movement would cause him to brush against Snape, whose thin body was radiating far too much heat.
For the first time during this encounter, Sirius thinks that Severus might be only toying with him.
"I'm not sure -" his sentence was lost in a half-gasp half-yelp when Snape's abandoned glass rolled away and Snape's hand pressed firmly onto his crotch, squeezing not-too gently.
But Severus proves to him that he is, in fact, very interested.
"Who would have thought this - Sirius Black craving for human touch strongly enough to get hard for Severus Snape", said Snape thoughtfully, moving his hand around.
Even though he wouldn't admit it for anything in the world.
"Don't push it, Snape", Black warned through clenched teeth.
"I'm not pushing", Snape said with a grim smile. "You are."
Too late, Black realised that his hips had lifted on their own accord, carrying his groin into Snape's grip.
In the next moment, Snape let out a strangled groan, as he was thrown over and on his back, and Black effectively immobilised his legs by straddling him with a swiftness that was both unexpected and horrifying in a man who looked more dead than alive. Black's right forearm pressed hard against Snape's throat, while his left hand worked frantically in the folds of his robes, ripping the buttons of Snape's fly apart. Black moved down in an amazing speed, shifted his hand to apply a tight grip around Snape's throat and hold him in place, and as he swallowed Snape's cock whole, he felt the soft flesh instantly spring to life in his mouth.
This isn't non-con. Severus wants it and Sirius knows it but neither of them would admit it. They need the power play in order to pretend that they didn't really want it. Yeah, as if.
Snape's hands that had entangled themselves in Black's hair in the vain attempt to yank his head away went suddenly limp as some particularly fervent sucking coaxed his cock to full hardness.
Black lifted his head a fraction. "Enjoying yourself, you bastard?" he managed to growl with his lips around the tip of Snape's cock.
"Black. Ah. Stop."
He knows Sirius won't stop.
"Not very convincing, sorry", muttered Black, lowering his head again. His tongue slid all the way down along the vein throbbing on the sensitive underside, and Snape gave a long, shuddering, strangled moan.
Black hummed in response, sending more shivers through the other man's body. He was sucking forcefully in order to prevent Snape from catching his breath and therefore come back to his senses. When his teeth scraped against the delicate skin, the sharp intake of breath and a short yelp told him he had caused Snape pain, and he doubled his efforts.
Black's free hand was wrapped around the base of Snape's cock, while at the same time, he was clutching Snape's throat firmly with his other one, and he fisted in time to his suction. His hand was slick with saliva, and the bitter flavour in his mouth told him that Snape's pre-come was adding considerably to the wetness that was running down all the way down his cock, over Black's fingers, wrist, and disappearing in the thick thatch of dark hair.
The laboured breathing increased, and Snape's hips jerked up involuntarily once, twice, before Black felt the sharp, stinging fluid flooding his mouth and pulled his head away quickly, wiping his mouth with the hand that had at last released Snape's throat. Some semen had got into his mouth, though, and he decided to spit it out on Snape's cock as long as the man was still shaken by the aftermath of his orgasm. A thin, sticky thread clinging to his chin glued a strand of hair to his face. Black wiped it away harshly.
OK, swallowing. In most fics, people do swallow, because it's hawt. I find it hotter if they don't, if only for the sake of variety. Besides, having the other come on your (generic) face and hair can be quite hot, too, so there. Sirius considers swallowing as a sign of submission, and he is not prepared to give Severus this satisfaction. Spitting it out on Severus' groin, however, is an adequately derisive act.
Snape's choked moans had turned into dry coughs and he was rubbing his throat with a pained grimace on his face while sitting up dizzily. Black was sitting back on his heels, staring fixedly at Snape.
"What was this all about, Black" Snape spat, equally shaken by anger and by painful coughs, dark bruises already showing where Black's fingers had dug into his skin. Black stood up and poured in a glass of water.
The reader is supposed to think it's for Severus.
"Not that I expected post-coital sweet talk", he said, relishing how the fresh, cool water was washing away all traces of the sharp taste, "but some gratitude would be in order, don't you think?"
"Gratitude?! You arrogant bastard, you... you use me as a means to satisfy your depraved desires, and expect me to be grateful? Who do you think you are? Who do you think I am?"
He has enjoyed himself, really. He has just come, for heaven's sake.
Snape had raised himself into an upright position and was adjusting his spent cock in his trousers. With a flick of his wand, the fluid sticking hair and material together was removed from his crotch and the buttons of his fly restored. Silent coughs continued sending violent tremors through his body, and his pale throat looked more bruised than ever.
"I think you are a sick individual whose levels of depravity easily match mine, seeing as it was you who came in a fountain on my kitchen floor", Black felt his temper rising in spite of himself. He put the glass on the table with a clatter, causing water to splash over the brim and on the table. "Don't tell me you didn't want it. Don't tell me you were grabbing my cock because it disgusts you."
He's pissed off because he senses there will be no blow job for him. And because he is irritated about being attracted to Snape.
Snape summoned the glass of water Black had abandoned and stood up. "You disgust me, Black", he whispered, his eyes narrowed. "Now excuse me, I've got a report to write. Some of us have actually work to do."
Yet another stab. And a definite 'no' to further sexual activities that night. Snape is annoyed that he has lost control and this is his method of punishing Sirius.
Without a further word, Black turned on his heels and left the kitchen, carefully making sure that the door slammed shut with a loud bang.
Taking several steps at one time, he arrived upstairs slightly out of breath, freeing his cock from his trousers even before he was all the way in his room. He leaned heavily against the locked door, rested his forehead on his forearm and watched his hand fist his own cock hard and fast and when he came painfully and silently, breathing very fast through his nose, all he could think was 'Snape, Snape, Snape, Snape.'
Which annoys the hell out of him.
The story can be found at the Snape Fuh-Q Fest
The Last Resort
I suck at titles. I do. In "The Truth", Terry Pratchett says about William de Worde that he "wasn't good at getting the huge complexities of the world into fewer than half a dozen words." That's me all right.
"... and there's the traitor, coming and going in my mistress's house as he pleases, Kreacher knows he betrayed the Dark Lord, but he can't stop him from entering the house, oh no, not when master lets him in, disgraceful nasty bastard master is, not worthy of baring the noble name of Black. Coming back from Azkaban where he belonged, he and his bunch of blood traitors and half-breeds, to befoul his mother's house. Oh his poor mother, how -"
"Silencio."
It seems a logical reaction to Kreacher's babbling. And Severus has no scruples to silence him with a hex.
The cold silky voice cut short the house-elf's muttering, who pressed his hands to his wide-open mouth in horror, his pale eyes bulging.
"I'll see myself inside, no need to trouble you longer", Severus Snape said smoothly proceeding towards the kitchen door in long strides. "I assume your... master is in there, helping himself to the supply of Old Odgen's and having a jolly good time with his friend Fletcher." He threw the door open, glaring menacingly inside.
His glare, however, was wasted on a few Doxys who, banished from the upper rooms, had widely retreated to the kitchen, and were now fighting for the best nesting places in the old, threadbare curtains. Snape eyed them for a moment.
"Pathetic", he muttered, turning away. "Elf! I need you to fetch your master. And stop pulling faces on me or I shall make the Silencing Charm permanent", he added with a dirty look at the terrified Kreacher who was writhing on the floor, frantically opening and closing his mouth like a fish out of water.
Pointing his wand at the elf, Snape muttered "Finite Incantatem", and prodded Kreacher with the tip of his wand. "Well? What are you waiting for? Bring me to your master. Now!"
While I try to write Severus as canonical as possible, I am guilty of smoothing away the character traits I don't like. I feel My!Snape is cooler and more in control of himself than canon!Snape and less prone to throw temper tantrums. Except when it comes to Sirius, but that's an entirely different matter. I don't think canon!Snape would prod Kreacher with his wand and I don't think he would insist on seeing Sirius at this stage. But for my personal pleasure, I had to force a confrontation between them.
Kreacher nodded mutely and hurried to the stairs, closely followed by Snape, whose swishing cloak caused whole armadas of decade-old dust to rise from the floor.
The distance to Buckbeak's quarters in Mrs. Black's old bedroom was covered in complete silence, and the satisfaction of having taught the elf a lesson almost made Snape smile. But he settled for his customary sneer instead when Kreacher opened the door for him and scurried away hurriedly, starting muttering curses as soon as he though he was out of earshot.
Here's another example of characterisation I consider uncanonical: I don't think canon!Snape actually tries to be menacing; he simply is. And I don't think he would be pleased about an action as insignificant as hexing a house-elf. It wouldn't occur to him to show a reaction, to be amused of gleeful. But My!Snape shows a greater capability of introspection - and self-irony - than I contribute to canon!Snape.
The sweetish stench of blood and rotting meat hit his sinuses with a heavy blow and Snape gagged. He recovered in time, though, and assumed his most haughty expression before stepping into the once magnificent, now decaying room. The Hippogriff lay on the bed, half hidden behind the remainder of the curtains, and next to the beast lay... well, the other beast. Padfoot was curled up in a tight ball, pressed against the Hippogriff's side, and Snape had just time enough to marvel on the unique opportunity to throw the insult in Black's face that he was sleeping with his nose pressed against his own bottom, when the dog raised his head and leapt from the bed, changing smoothly into a man in mid-jump.
I love the interaction between Sirius (man and dog) and Buckbeak. I wish Rowling had shown us more. One reason for my liking Sirius is because from what we know he seems to be good with animals. Crookshanks likes him and so does Buckbeak, and they're both rather picky, I would say. There is something so very touching about the fact that Buckbeak was Sirius' closest companion for at least that one year they were on the run. And I pity Buckbeak so, so much for having been trapped in that room for one year at least. Poor sweetie.
"Das also ist des Pudels Kern", Snape recited at the sight of the other man's pale face framed by dark untidy hair. Black's eyes were glowing from their deep sockets and his entire appearance was, indeed, more than Mephistophelic.
"Whom do you call a poodle?" he growled in a hoarse voice.
'Poodle' was one of the words assigned to me in the challenge. I don't remember when the idea to use Goethe presented itself, but it was very soon during the planning process. Strangely, there seem to be many people in the fandom who like the idea of Severus speaking German. Maybe because of Hans Gruber? Or because German is such a good language to torture in and comes in handy during Death Eater revels? Canonically, it seems almost impossible for witches and wizards to learn a foreign language, as none are taught at Hogwarts, and I can't think of a reason why Severus should read (and memorise) a German Muggle drama. Well, at least "Faust" deals with matters of magic.
Snape's upper lip curled up unpleasantly. "I should have known that you wouldn't be familiar with the finest in world literature", he said silkily. "Although one might have thought that she", he made a wide gesture indicating the room, "would have developed a more holistic approach to your education as to make you at least somewhat of an accomplished gentleman."
There go the other two words from the challenge: 'holistic' and 'gentleman.' The problem was that these words are so very versatile and I couldn't really use them to build a story around them: they don't determine a plot and don't require a particular setting. So I ended up not writing a story around my assigned words but using the words within a random story line. With 'poodle' the matter was different; it cannot be squeezed in into a randomly existing dialogue and I had to create a context to fit it in.
Black stared at him in silence, and for a few minutes, both men glared daggers at each other. Their mute battle was interrupted by Buckbeak, whose strange sneezing noise made both men jump, wands raised.
Black spoke first. "Surely, you don't grace me with your presence to discuss literature with me, Snape? What is it this time? Are you here to whine about how you're forced to associate with your Death Eater friends - the only friends you've ever had in your life, I might add - and how your former acquaintances are now giving you a hard time? Or is there actually a point in your harassing me?"
"Believe me, I can think of hundreds of other places I'd rather be than this... den", Snape looked around in disgust, "but unfortunately, while you are spending your time most comfortably in safety and seclusion, I am risking my life on a daily basis to gather information that will help Dumbledore -" he broke off at the expression of Black's bloodless, hollow face, while the other man was advancing at him, holding his wand in an outstretched hand.
Ah, the obligatory Snape/Black insult match.
"Spare me!" Black spat. "Just tell me whatever it is and get out of my house! Unlike you, I've never formed acquaintances among Voldemort's lot, who would now be in position to save my arse from his wrath!"
"No, you never have", purred Snape silkily, his eyes firmly at Black's wand tip that was sending off red sparks. "Your friends have always been above any suspicion. Oh, but I forgot", he tilted his head and stared directly into Black's eyes, "you have suspected the werewolf once, haven't you? And have decided to trust your friend Pettigrew instead. That must have made you immensely proud of your own cleverness - for about ten minutes!"
Severus hits where it hurts. Severus knows where it hurts because he understands Sirius so very well, even though he's not aware of it. What I like about post-OotP Snape/Black is the fact that they are both at the same level when it comes to being damaged and messed up. They hate each other with a passion, but had they stopped for breath for a moment and thought things through, they could realise that they have very much in common. And while in RL, I don't believe that having things in common with another person would necessarily make you understand or like them, it is a good enough basis for me to write fanfiction upon.
In the next moment, Snape threw his head back, narrowly avoiding being hit by the curse Black had sent his way. His own wand arm had come up in a flash and his "Expelliarmus!" sent Black flying backwards and stumbling to the floor. However, Black had grasped a handful of Snape's robes and pulled the other man back with him. They landed on the floor in a cloud of dust.
The obligatory pre-sexual physical contact. Of course they fight. And of course they're turned on by it. Do I have to elaborate?
Black's head hit the ground with a loud thud, but, unlike Snape, after two years on the run he was more accustomed to the concept of physical attacks and reacted instinctively within an instance. Flexing his muscles, he arched off the floor and rolled over and atop Snape. Snape's head collided painfully with the bedstead, causing Buckbeak to toss his head irritably with a soft, croaking sound. A gnawed rat bone fell from the bed and landed next to Snape's face.
Sirius, though thin and emaciated, is physically stronger than Severus, who has led an academic's life and used his wand and house-elves for lifting heavy things.
"Sharing your meals with the beast, are you", Snape panted in a raspy voice, hardly able to breathe with his ribcage being squashed by Black. "But then again - your taste for monsters has always been legendary..."
The 'monster' Severus refers to is Remus, of course. Like so many others, Severus assumes that Sirius and Remus used to be/are lovers. They are not, in this universe. I had intended to write much more interaction between Sirius and Remus where this would be clarified, but, um, I didn't.
Black's left hand entangled itself in Snape's greasy hair and he made a sudden movement as though trying to push the other's head up and crash his skull against the floor, but at this very moment, an ear-splitting cry pierced the silence as Mrs. Black's portrait sprang to life.
They were too far away to distinguish single words, but the high-pitched screams, easily penetrating the more sensitive ears of a Hippogriff, made Buckbeak leap up on his bed and start screeching angrily.
Looking slightly embarrassed, Black loosened his grip on Snape and slowly rose to his feet. Snape hoisted himself into a sitting position, rubbing his elbow with a pained expression on his face, and his eyes fell on the doorway. He froze.
Black turned his head around sharply and saw Remus Lupin and Kingsley Shacklebolt standing in the door, gaping at the scene displayed before their eyes with identically incredulous expression on their faces.
Kingsley was initially supposed to get more screen time. He never did because I can't get into a character I know nothing about. Well, I could invent a whole history for him, but in that case I would feel as though writing an OC. I need canon facts to base my characterisation upon.
Snape moved first. Snakelike, he glided to his feet and brushed himself off, flicking his black hair out of his eyes, thin-lipped and silent. Lupin cleared his throat.
"What the hell are you doing here?" Black and Lupin uttered the question in unison. Shacklebolt's mouth twitched suspiciously.
Kingsley doesn't know the other three men well, but he had enough time to realise that there is a lot of tension between them. At this early stage of their acquaintance, he finds it amusing rather than anything else.
"We heard shouts and what sounded like some serious fighting", explained Lupin, while Black turned his attention to Buckbeak, getting hold of his leather collar and trying to pat his neck in a comforting manner. "We didn't realise that it was only you two having a friendly conversation." Black cast him a venomous glance.
Remus is pissed off. It is one of the things I am not happy about throughout the entire fic. Had I written more Sirius/Remus interaction, I could have clarified it, but as it is, his aggressive stance is way off. This was also one of the very first fics I've written, and I was still looking for My!Remus. I knew that I didn't want to make him all mild and sweet and enduring (because he isn't), and so I made him aggressive instead. A bad choice, and MyCurrent!Remus and I only shake our heads about it.
"If you are quite finished", Snape said, brushing past Shacklebolt who was still standing quietly in the door, "I would rather like a word, downstairs. It concerns you, too", he added with a look at Lupin and disappeared in the dim hallway.
Buckbeak's mismatched feet hit the floor with a shattering noise in the Hippogriff's vain attempt to free himself from Black's grip. "Get out of here!" the man growled angrily at Shacklebolt and Lupin, who had started towards him to help handling the animal. The portrait downstairs was still wailing and shouting in blood-freezing tones, and on top of everything, the general mayhem suddenly got penetrated by Kreacher's insane babbling as the elf stopped in the hall muttering insults under his breath. Black snapped.
I'd like to point out that there is no passage all throughout OotP where Sirius actually snaps. (Apart from his dealing with Snape, but there it is mutual.) He is severely provoked many times, if only by people alternately pointing out that he's not allowed to stir out of the house or accusing him of cowardice because he stays in the house, and still, he restrains himself from even so much as shouting in righteous rage. I know that OotP Sirius is seriously damaged, but I think he's got himself together much better than most people give him credit for.
"Get out of here! Out! OUT!" he roared, face contorted with rage. He continued tagging on the Hippogriff's collar while at the same time, trying to shove both Lupin and Shacklebolt away with his free hand. Buckbeak reared and the worn leather snapped. His deadly talons clawed the air and he flattered his mighty wings helplessly, constricted by walls and ceiling. Black pushed Lupin hard in the chest and sent him tumbling into Shacklebolt, who was already retreating towards the door, both hands raised in an appeasing gesture.
Lupin's eyes flashed. He leapt forward and smashed Black against the wall with a dull thud. "You listen to me now! You won't let out your frustration on any of us!" His voice was barely more than a whisper, but with each word, he was crashing Black against wooden panelling with a brutality that threatened to crush Black's spine.
Pissed-off!Remus strikes again. There is a whole background story for these two, which, sadly, never got written.
None of them noticed when Shacklebolt left.
II.
Severus Snape was standing by the kitchen table and his straight posture and disgusted expression were clearly indicating that he was afraid of contaminating himself at the mere contact with any part of the Blacks' kitchen interior. Even his breathing was shallow as though he thought the surrounding air was toxic. Shacklebolt had positioned himself by the mantelpiece, his tall, dark-clad figure successfully fading into the shadow. Both men were ignoring each other pointedly.
Severus doesn't really like anyone in the Order, and Kingsley is not the man to launch into idle small talk when he knows it wouldn't be welcome. I quite like the description of Severus' very physical reaction to the Blacks' kitchen.
Lupin and Black entered the room a few minutes later. Black let his long unkempt hair deliberately fall into his face and only his eyes were burning from behind the dark veil, while Lupin held his head up high, his face carefully blank. Snape's expression turned even more acidic.
"Sit down", Snape said in a strained voice and with a grimace which indicated that talking to them caused him physical pain; he barely moved his teeth apart. Black's jaw line went rigid and he squared his shoulders, but remained silent. He did not sit down, though.
It is Sirius' house. He won't have Severus give him orders.
Lupin and Shacklebolt likewise decided that sitting would create an atmosphere of too much camaraderie. For a few minutes, all four men remained silent, throwing hostile, calculating looks at one another.
There is also a background story on Kingsley and Sirius' relationship. See, Kingsley ended up dating the girl Sirius liked. (Viola DeVerre. Fabulous breasts.) According to A Measure of Darkness, Kingsley was also in charge of Sirius' Auror class. However, I am not happy with this, either, because I think Kingsley is actually younger than Sirius.
"Very well", Snape said at last. "As you all know well enough, I was asked by Dumbledore to re-inaugurate some older connections, which will allow me to gather information about the status quo of the preparations in the Dark Lord's camp."
The obligatory action/adventure part. I refuse to believe that Snape could walk right back into Voldemort's inner circle and spy comfily from within. It's just so stupid. Even if Voldemort would be naïve enough to believe him, I just don't see the other Death Eaters to be equally easily fooled. I mean, Severus has worked for Dumbledore for more than a dozen years. Puh-lease! I am willing to believe that he knows most valuable sources of information because he knows the right sort of people, knows who used to hang around Voldemort and so on. But participating in Voldemort's meetings in person? I don't see it. On the other hand, there's of course the fact that Lucius Malfoy has been chummy with the Ministry guys and Macnair has worked for the Ministry during all these years, so maybe Voldemort does take his Death Eaters back on good faith? But still. Snape sneaking out in the dead of night to attend the Dark Lord's meetings (where he is tortured and raped for the sake of TEH Healing Sex with Harry/Remus/Hermione) just feels so tacky.
"Spy, you mean. We all know the word, you sneaky bastard! How often have you changed side, I wonder? How often will you?"
Snape chose to haughtily ignore Black's remark, but his right hand twitched suspiciously towards the pocket holding his wand. "Not much information has been gained yet. I learned, however, that the Dark Lord's supporters know exactly about the oh-so-clever disguise he", with a nod towards Black, "has used so successfully. It would therefore not be advisable for him to leave this place unless he wants to end up in the hands of people who would gladly deliver him to either Fudge or He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, both of which alternatives would surely be less than pleasant."
"Are you saying that I'm to continue hiding here, in this godforsaken place, while everyone else is out there, doing useful work for the Order?" Black snorted incredulously.
"I am saying no such thing", Snape's voice was smooth and sweet as honey. "It's Dumbledore's wish you shall remain unhurt. Merlin knows why", he added under his breath. "Apparently, he thinks you could be useful after all, in some way or another. He also seems to think that the Potter boy could do with an, ah, responsible father figure."
Severus loves bringing Sirius the bad news. It must have been at some point between GoF and OotP that they told Sirius not to leave the house. A few weeks before, when Albus sent Sirius away from Hogwarts to lie low at Lupin's, nobody seemed to think Sirius was a danger to himself or others when on the loose. Well done, Albus.
"This is all very well", Lupin said, interrupting Snape's silky gloating. "But surely, this is not the reason why you wanted us to meet you here. An owl would have done for this piece of news!"
Remus is right. This is all only a pretext on my part for bringing Sirius and Severus together...
"Your friend Pettigrew has apparently launched a little - well, I suppose you could say 'hunt' - to get rid of all people who knew about his Animagus form - and don't give me that look", he said sharply as Lupin opened his mouth to speak. "It seems Pettigrew wasn't very good at keeping secrets after all. He had bragged in front of his brother that he could turn into a rat, and Merlin knows where this guy let it slip in turn! I wasn't able to determine who else knows of Black's canine talents, but there's a considerable risk that Pettigrew didn't remain silent on this matter, either."
...So I had to puff up this little bit of information and add some more details explaining why Severus would be forced to actually talk to them in person.
"His brother, then", Shacklebolt's deep soothing voice reverberated through the room. "I don't think he had the opportunity to tell it many people. We have been observing him since Sirius's escape. He seemed a likely victim", he explained in a steady voice meeting Black's eyes levelly, "you were supposedly deranged and murderous."
Ah, Kingsley! He's so cool.
Black's mouth curled up in a brief mirthless smile.
"He was a Squib, wasn't he", Lupin said pensively. "It seems very unlikely that anyone would believe his story, in any case - as far as I know he went to live with Muggles. Became a taxi driver. His father never quite recovered from the shock."
Remus knows that detailed knowledge of others is a weapon. He listens and he remembers.
"How do you know all these things?" Black asked astounded. Lupin smiled.
Sirius thinks that people who are beneath him are not worth his attention. Underestimating people has been his downfall twice: in case of Peter and in case of Kreacher.
"I did listen to Peter, you know, Sirius", he said calmly.
"Not well enough, apparently", Black bristled at the unspoken approach. "You should have paid more attention to what he was saying and to whom he was saying it -"
"As fascinating as it is to witness your reminiscent get-together", cut in Snape, "it'll do for now. I'm sure you'll have plenty of time for a friendly chat later.
"As I was saying, Pettigrew's brother was aware of the secret. Consequently, he had to die. It would be highly unwise of your friend to let him stay alive - he could have been used as a witness to release Black from his charges."
"If you don't stop calling him our friend this instant, I swear I will feed your foul tongue to Buckbeak", Black said in a very low and even voice.
"One day", Lupin's voice sounded uncharacteristically venomous, "I will gladly watch you two having a go at each other. At the moment, however, we cannot afford losing either of you, so would you please keep your hostility at bay as much possible."
Shacklebolt raised one eyebrow, surprised at Lupin's unusual edginess, and turned to Snape. "You spoke of a 'hunt'. This implies there are more people Pettigrew will want to silent. Do you know of any?"
"As I said, I haven't gathered any more information regarding individual victims yet. But I thought it wisest to inform you before the next meeting of the Order that the Animagus secrets are no longer quite as secret. Some people", a nasty glance at Black, "are known to act on impulse and might find it tempting to take unnecessary risks. And we have to create a plan that will help us save the lives of people who might just have been unfortunate enough to be among Pettigrew's listeners. Can you two think of anyone he was in touch with?"
Snape and Lupin exchanged a long look. Black shifted uncomfortably, sighed and sat down heavily, flattening his palms against the worn surface of the table. "I don't know. He didn't have many friends, at school. And later - we weren't that much in touch, only through the Order, really. But it isn't very likely he told anyone in the Order, especially if he was already working for Voldemort. You're better informed, Remus, can you think of anyone he could have spoken to?"
Sirius didn't really like Peter. He didn't mind him (much), but he didn't necessarily want him to stick around when they left Hogwarts. Yes, I know, I love it when authors include Peter as part of the group. Unfortunately, the flashback scene shows that James and Sirius treated Peter like an idiot and that he behaved like one. Now, I think that it is quite in character for a boy like Sirius - rich, clever, handsome, quick-thinking, arrogant - to despise an insecure, slow-thinking boy like Peter, but still to like him to hang around and provide applause. His relationship with Peter is more one of owner and pet than one between equals.
Lupin shook his head and followed Black's example to take a seat. "Members of the Order are obviously quite out of the question. We don't know anything about his contacts among Voldemort's supporters, obviously, and they know about Padfoot and Wormtail anyway. He was seeing this girl, just before I went to the Continent - you know, on this mission for Dumbledore - but I don't remember her name. Clarissa, I think... No. Larissa."
"Wormtail was seeing a girl? Now, that's news", Black made no effort to mask the sarcasm in his voice. "But he surely didn't show her the rat if he tried to impress her. It would be rather counterproductive."
Sirius can't imagine that Peter could have formed any kind of relationship not based on pity.
"Does Voldemort believe the story Kingsley was feeding the Daily Prophet about Sirius's having been spotted in, what, Honolulu?" Lupin cut in quickly before Snape could open his mouth to speak.
"I don't think so. Believe it or not, Black isn't the Dark Lord's main concern. He frankly doesn't care much about what Black is doing."
Why should he? Sirius is in enough trouble as it is.
"I'll try to find out about Pettigrew's contacts. After his assumed death, the Ministry had compiled a record about him and I'm sure I can gain access to it," said Shacklebolt.
"That's exactly why I wanted an Auror to be informed - you can act where none of us can. I'm done. I found it important to tell you about the danger resulting in Pettigrew's secret-keeping abilities straightaway, and I was asked by Albus to make Black realise the danger he's in when he leaves the house, but the rest can wait until the next meeting. There's nothing more that concerns you directly."
Shacklebolt nodded a curt 'Goodbye' and was gone, closely followed by Snape, who did not waste the opportunity to offer Black a last disdainful look. Lupin and Black remained alone.
"Sirius -"
OK, part of the problem is, I don't see Sirius and Remus assuming the old friendship without any bitterness on either side. And the resolve of the mutual misunderstandings and coming to terms with the past falls exactly in this short period between GoF and OotP, which we are not shown. (Also known as "Lie Low at Lupin's.) At the end of PoA, emotions are running high and they fall back into the old school pattern of It's Us Against The Rest Of The World to deal with the situation, and in OotP, they have already dealt with it. My goal in this fic was to imply that they have not settled their issues yet at this point.
"Spare me, Remus. Just - spare me!" Black raised up so suddenly that his chair crashed to the floor. "I'm going to feed Buckbeak."
The kitchen door slammed shut behind him. Lupin remained seated for a long time, staring into the falling darkness with unseeing eyes.
Standard Lupin reaction. I have him staring into the darkness whenever he is upset, the poor soul.
III.
"Oh. Look what the elf dragged in."
"The pleasure's all mine. As you understand, I'm not particularly interested in remaining in this house any minute longer than necessary. I'll only write a report for Albus and be gone."
Obligatory Snape/Black snark.
Snape had entered the kitchen unceremoniously and seated himself at the table from where he glared down at Black, who half-lay on the floor in front of the fireplace with a glass of whisky in his hand. Black ignored him.
I love the image of a dishevelled Sirius, spread out on the floor and drinking whisky. He should be smoking, too.
For a few minutes, the scrapping of quill on parchment was the only noise. Snape was writing swiftly, showing Black his right profile with the long hooked nose and the determined chin. He stopped on the soft sound of ice cubes tinkling against glass.
Snape is not pretty. But a long hooked nose is not necessarily an ugly attribute, and a determined chin is a good thing.
Black had just helped himself to more whisky and was putting down the bottle, when Snape spoke in a voice laden with sweet mock-concern: "How you can go so long with nothing else to do than drinking your mother's supply of Firewhisky is beyond me."
"How you can go so long without washing your hair is beyond me." Black was just drunk enough to deliver the insult in an absurdly polite tone. He shifted a little, propped himself back on his elbows and, tilting his head back, observed Snape from half-lidded eyes.
A thin cruel smile appeared on Snape's mouth. "Your hair wouldn't exactly win you any contest, either", he whispered softly. "I remember that used to be different, once. Tell me, Black, what is it like to have a hollow, emaciated phantom look back at oneself in the mirror?"
Again, Severus knows where it hurts. I think young Sirius wasn't fully aware of his unstudied beauty and elegance but he grew very aware of it in his late teens/early twenties and the loss was more painful than he would ever admit, even to himself.
"Look who's asking. You know the answer to this question well enough, Snape."
"This might well be. But unlike yourself, I have never been a reputed beauty. I understand the loss might weight rather heavily." Talking, Snape had leaned forward until the hem of his cloak brushed against Black's foot. Black's bare foot, which now kicked against the leg of Snape's chair. Black gave a short laugh and placed his foot back on the floor, his legs slightly wider apart than before. Snape watched him expressionlessly.
Sirius offers himself. Severus knows and calculates the pros and cons.
"Care for a drink?"
"Excuse me?"
"Care for a drink? Surely you don't refuse a glass of good old Old Ogden's?"
"Why would I want to drink with you?"
"Whom else have you got to drink with?"
An odd expression flickered across Snape's face and Black knew he had a point.
Sirius also knows where to hit. They understand the respective other on a very basic level.
Snape shrugged. "All right." He watched Black Summon a clean glass and pour in the whisky before he spoke again. "You must be rather desperate if you are prepared to drink with me. Is Lupin not hanging around?"
Severus is asking whether Sirius is shagging Remus.
Black's face tensed. "You leave Remus out of this. This is between the two of us."
"Very well. I have no desire to talk about the werewolf tonight." He looked expectantly at Black. "Well?"
"Well what?"
"Well, aren't you giving me my drink?"
"You have to come and get it, you know."
Sirius might be offering himself, but he also wants something in return. He demands that Severus forgets his pride and takes a step towards him in turn.
Snape gave a derisive snort. "If you expect me to -" he broke off sneering down at Black and reached out his arm. Black shifted again, stretching his long body slightly, and his hand holding the glass disappeared from Snape's reach.
And so they meet in the middle.
Snape took up the challenge. He slid off his chair and, supporting his weight on his left arm, grabbed the glass with his right hand. He raised the glass, but made no effort to raise himself from the floor. Instead, he remained looming over Black.
And yet Severus still tries to dominate Sirius.
Black had been watching him lazily. He never broke the eye contact when Snape knocked back his drink, but tilted his head back even more, his lips slightly apart.
Sirius is begging for it. But he wants Severus to come to him.
"Don't you want raise a toast with me?"
Snape's black eyes narrowed maliciously. "You really are desperate, aren't you", he said very softly, a trace of triumph in his voice. "What else do you want me to do with you, I wonder?"
Slowly, he inched closer, until his slighter form was draped over Black's without quite touching, until he could see the frantic pulse on Black's white, exposed neck. Black remained silent, only his pale eyes glowed feverishly.
"I could feel you, you know", Snape continued in the same soft, oddly warm tone.
Black took a sip of his drink. "Feel me? What do you mean?"
"The day we fought. I could feel you." He snorted derisively. "Merlin, how desperate can one get?"
Black shifted uncomfortably, suddenly aware that he was trapped and that every movement would cause him to brush against Snape, whose thin body was radiating far too much heat.
For the first time during this encounter, Sirius thinks that Severus might be only toying with him.
"I'm not sure -" his sentence was lost in a half-gasp half-yelp when Snape's abandoned glass rolled away and Snape's hand pressed firmly onto his crotch, squeezing not-too gently.
But Severus proves to him that he is, in fact, very interested.
"Who would have thought this - Sirius Black craving for human touch strongly enough to get hard for Severus Snape", said Snape thoughtfully, moving his hand around.
Even though he wouldn't admit it for anything in the world.
"Don't push it, Snape", Black warned through clenched teeth.
"I'm not pushing", Snape said with a grim smile. "You are."
Too late, Black realised that his hips had lifted on their own accord, carrying his groin into Snape's grip.
In the next moment, Snape let out a strangled groan, as he was thrown over and on his back, and Black effectively immobilised his legs by straddling him with a swiftness that was both unexpected and horrifying in a man who looked more dead than alive. Black's right forearm pressed hard against Snape's throat, while his left hand worked frantically in the folds of his robes, ripping the buttons of Snape's fly apart. Black moved down in an amazing speed, shifted his hand to apply a tight grip around Snape's throat and hold him in place, and as he swallowed Snape's cock whole, he felt the soft flesh instantly spring to life in his mouth.
This isn't non-con. Severus wants it and Sirius knows it but neither of them would admit it. They need the power play in order to pretend that they didn't really want it. Yeah, as if.
Snape's hands that had entangled themselves in Black's hair in the vain attempt to yank his head away went suddenly limp as some particularly fervent sucking coaxed his cock to full hardness.
Black lifted his head a fraction. "Enjoying yourself, you bastard?" he managed to growl with his lips around the tip of Snape's cock.
"Black. Ah. Stop."
He knows Sirius won't stop.
"Not very convincing, sorry", muttered Black, lowering his head again. His tongue slid all the way down along the vein throbbing on the sensitive underside, and Snape gave a long, shuddering, strangled moan.
Black hummed in response, sending more shivers through the other man's body. He was sucking forcefully in order to prevent Snape from catching his breath and therefore come back to his senses. When his teeth scraped against the delicate skin, the sharp intake of breath and a short yelp told him he had caused Snape pain, and he doubled his efforts.
Black's free hand was wrapped around the base of Snape's cock, while at the same time, he was clutching Snape's throat firmly with his other one, and he fisted in time to his suction. His hand was slick with saliva, and the bitter flavour in his mouth told him that Snape's pre-come was adding considerably to the wetness that was running down all the way down his cock, over Black's fingers, wrist, and disappearing in the thick thatch of dark hair.
The laboured breathing increased, and Snape's hips jerked up involuntarily once, twice, before Black felt the sharp, stinging fluid flooding his mouth and pulled his head away quickly, wiping his mouth with the hand that had at last released Snape's throat. Some semen had got into his mouth, though, and he decided to spit it out on Snape's cock as long as the man was still shaken by the aftermath of his orgasm. A thin, sticky thread clinging to his chin glued a strand of hair to his face. Black wiped it away harshly.
OK, swallowing. In most fics, people do swallow, because it's hawt. I find it hotter if they don't, if only for the sake of variety. Besides, having the other come on your (generic) face and hair can be quite hot, too, so there. Sirius considers swallowing as a sign of submission, and he is not prepared to give Severus this satisfaction. Spitting it out on Severus' groin, however, is an adequately derisive act.
Snape's choked moans had turned into dry coughs and he was rubbing his throat with a pained grimace on his face while sitting up dizzily. Black was sitting back on his heels, staring fixedly at Snape.
"What was this all about, Black" Snape spat, equally shaken by anger and by painful coughs, dark bruises already showing where Black's fingers had dug into his skin. Black stood up and poured in a glass of water.
The reader is supposed to think it's for Severus.
"Not that I expected post-coital sweet talk", he said, relishing how the fresh, cool water was washing away all traces of the sharp taste, "but some gratitude would be in order, don't you think?"
"Gratitude?! You arrogant bastard, you... you use me as a means to satisfy your depraved desires, and expect me to be grateful? Who do you think you are? Who do you think I am?"
He has enjoyed himself, really. He has just come, for heaven's sake.
Snape had raised himself into an upright position and was adjusting his spent cock in his trousers. With a flick of his wand, the fluid sticking hair and material together was removed from his crotch and the buttons of his fly restored. Silent coughs continued sending violent tremors through his body, and his pale throat looked more bruised than ever.
"I think you are a sick individual whose levels of depravity easily match mine, seeing as it was you who came in a fountain on my kitchen floor", Black felt his temper rising in spite of himself. He put the glass on the table with a clatter, causing water to splash over the brim and on the table. "Don't tell me you didn't want it. Don't tell me you were grabbing my cock because it disgusts you."
He's pissed off because he senses there will be no blow job for him. And because he is irritated about being attracted to Snape.
Snape summoned the glass of water Black had abandoned and stood up. "You disgust me, Black", he whispered, his eyes narrowed. "Now excuse me, I've got a report to write. Some of us have actually work to do."
Yet another stab. And a definite 'no' to further sexual activities that night. Snape is annoyed that he has lost control and this is his method of punishing Sirius.
Without a further word, Black turned on his heels and left the kitchen, carefully making sure that the door slammed shut with a loud bang.
Taking several steps at one time, he arrived upstairs slightly out of breath, freeing his cock from his trousers even before he was all the way in his room. He leaned heavily against the locked door, rested his forehead on his forearm and watched his hand fist his own cock hard and fast and when he came painfully and silently, breathing very fast through his nose, all he could think was 'Snape, Snape, Snape, Snape.'
Which annoys the hell out of him.
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Date: 2004-06-21 04:11 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-06-21 04:29 am (UTC)And of course Snape/Black works. They're begging for it *g*
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Date: 2004-06-21 04:33 am (UTC)The pairing, yes, but often not the actual fics. Sirius or Snape are often totally OOC. This was one of the first (and still one of the few) Snack fics I'd ever read where the characters are totally IC, the interaction is totally hot, and how they get together is believable and works. That's why I as a Sirius hater absolutely loved this fic.
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Date: 2004-06-21 04:42 am (UTC)The problem is that there aren't many Snape/Black fics around, and the percentage of good fics is aways minimal, no matter which pairing.
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Date: 2004-06-21 08:18 am (UTC)Nah, don´t worry. Your Snape is Snape-ish enough where it counts and in fact, this vicious reaction to Kreacher seemed to say something about Snape´s feelings for Black. Black is HIS to abuse, curse and belittle - he won´t stand for a mere house-elf doing it.
CanonSnape strikes me as mostly in control of himself, except when it comes to anything that reminds him of the humiliations he had to put up with in his youth. Sirius in particular can set him off effortlessly - but then that´s mutual. *g*
Otherwise Snape is a very controlled person - just look how cooly he deals with Umbridge!
I need canon facts to base my characterisation upon.
Word. That´s why Shacklebolt fics never really did it for me.
Re Sirius and Peter: I think it wasn´t even a question of liking or not liking Peter with Sirius. Peter was hanging around and making himself small enough to escape being picked upon as might so easily have happened. Severus on the other hand refused to ever become an adoring groupie of the fabulous four - or three? - and that was truly unforgivable!
And for what it´s worth: I love that first sex scene, I love the mutual need that cannot, of course, be acknowledged and I love Sirius not swallowing! So, so right!
It´s gritty and akward and unusual enough to be memorable.
Looking forward to Part II!
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Date: 2004-06-21 02:36 pm (UTC)I don't think Sirius actively and strongly disliked Peter, but he didn't value him as a friend. Peter was around, he might be useful, if only as an admirer, and that was fine by him.
Ah, the sex scene! I love unpretty sex, and I am glad it works :-)