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Sep. 27th, 2004 02:47 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
donnaimmaculataI rarely indulge in reading badfic these days, but tonight I came across a nice little ficcie which, because of the title "Without my Sweet Buttercup", I wrongly assumed to be a parody.
It was short and sweet and, apart from attributing "promenade cheekbones" to one of the characters, it also offered this lovely sex scene (rated R):
"They both trailed burning kisses onto each other. Both needed to fell each other's body. Each of them had roaming hands. They tore at their clothes as if their clothes were on fire. They needed to release that only this would bring. They continued as long as they could, always slowing down right before they fell off the cliff. Then, they would pick up soon after, continuing to climb higher and higher. They finally gave into their body's need for the climax. They fell onto the bed sheets."
There are much worse ones out there, granted. But somehow, the need to "fell each other's body" cracks me up. As does the fact that there seems to be only one body involved in the whole act.
ETA: Maybe I should mention that the fandom to which this steamy sex scene belongs is none other than Once upon a Time in Mexico. Yep, that's right. "Without my Sweet Buttercup" is El/Sands slash. That might explain why I thought it might be a parody.
The "promenande cheekbones" are, of course, Sands'.
It was short and sweet and, apart from attributing "promenade cheekbones" to one of the characters, it also offered this lovely sex scene (rated R):
"They both trailed burning kisses onto each other. Both needed to fell each other's body. Each of them had roaming hands. They tore at their clothes as if their clothes were on fire. They needed to release that only this would bring. They continued as long as they could, always slowing down right before they fell off the cliff. Then, they would pick up soon after, continuing to climb higher and higher. They finally gave into their body's need for the climax. They fell onto the bed sheets."
There are much worse ones out there, granted. But somehow, the need to "fell each other's body" cracks me up. As does the fact that there seems to be only one body involved in the whole act.
ETA: Maybe I should mention that the fandom to which this steamy sex scene belongs is none other than Once upon a Time in Mexico. Yep, that's right. "Without my Sweet Buttercup" is El/Sands slash. That might explain why I thought it might be a parody.
The "promenande cheekbones" are, of course, Sands'.
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Date: 2004-09-26 07:31 pm (UTC)*snickers* Kind of gives new meaning to split personality. I only ever saw up through Two Towers, and never read the books, but this really kind of reminds me of a love scene Gollum might reenact with himself. You know, if he were happier, sappier and not obsessed with a piece of jewelry...>_>;;
I like the promenade cheekbones though. Those really made me giggle. :3
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Date: 2004-09-27 12:01 am (UTC)And the idea of Gollum/Gollum slash is hilarious. I wonder, would he like to fell his body, too?
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Date: 2004-09-26 11:40 pm (UTC)*and hopes I never wrote anything like that*
And why fall onto bed sheets and not the bed? Doesn't sound very comfy.
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Date: 2004-09-27 12:08 am (UTC)I should be very surprised if you ever wrote something like that. At least not recently. That looks suspiciously like the efforts of a 12-year-old trying to write a steamy sex scene without knowing what this all about. "Each of them had roaming hands" is a tell-tale phrase. It would be hardly worth mentioning if not for the hilarious cheekbones thing.
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Date: 2004-09-27 08:04 pm (UTC)But still, yay! for promenade cheekbones.
And now you lot have got me wondering if anyone has ever written Gollum/Gollum slash. ...That idea should disturb me more than it does.
And finally, at the risk of getting myself mauled by a crazy preteen slasher - a promenade cheekbones icon (http://www.geocities.com/blood_wolf23/cheekbones.gif).
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Date: 2004-09-27 09:59 pm (UTC)I am sure Gollum/Gollum slash must exist somewhere. Definitely. It might be labeled Gollum/Smeagol, though.
And finally, I love (love!) the promenade cheekbones icon. *luffs* He's so pretty *luffs some more*
The silliness of the film notwithstanding, I think Sands is my favourite Johnny Depp character. It's the character I've always wanted to see him play.
*goes back to adore icon*
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Date: 2004-09-27 10:03 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-09-27 10:23 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-09-27 10:25 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-09-27 10:28 pm (UTC)