Some fannish musings
Nov. 19th, 2003 03:54 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
donnaimmaculataThanks to ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
mctabby who mentioned it on her LJ, I've been spending some quality time browsing the Death-Curse Archive, a truly delightful source of fanfiction that makes your mind boggle.
Since the first time I read a fic on said archive (which happened to be Ginny/Remus slash), I've been addicted. Yes, I am addicted, and am not ashamed to admit it.
Hardly ever during my history as an active fanfiction-consumer I have encountered such a variety of spelling and grammar mutilations (forget ff.net!), such abuse of language, characters, and webspace. The positive thing about these stories is: they're short. The authors don't waste time with such redundancies as plot development (or plot in general), characterisation or coherent dialogues. The stories are short and to the purpose, the language in its simplicity achieves almost poetic qualities ("He pounded again and again. She twitched and cried: 'Oh yes, pound me again and again!' He called: 'You bitch like it when I pound you again and again!!" I'm paraphrasing. But not much.), and besides, how many slash stories have you ever read in your life that feature female ejaculation? Hm?
I must admit, I am quite baffled as to the exact definition of 'slash' on Death-Curse. So far, I have come up with two options: slash means a) stories that feature graphic sex or b) stories that feature anal sex, preferably performed on (female) virgins (who ejaculate in the process). I'd dearly like to ask the authors, but am a bit worried that I might receive a not-quite-informative "u SO SUKC bitch dont flamme i cum adn fuCK ur ASS!!111" in response.
I'll just list the first three stories in the slash section, shall I?
Title: It's cumming on you
Summary: End of war party: Sirius/Harry, Remus/Snape, Dumbledore/Ron, Sirius/Draco, etc
Author: Cumbitch
The Chapter titles are: It's cumming on you, Bollocks, The Enema Ward, Angst and Pooperdoo, Swinging, and the first chapter goes thus:
"'Oy!' howled Ron, while a humongous dick was stuck so deep up his virginal arse he thought he might pass out from it.
On the other end of the Great Hall, Harry whispered, 'Sirius, I can't believe you're back, Sirius... oh! SIRIUS!!!'
'You'd better believe it, you succulent morsel you,' Sirius snarled as he humped his godson hard.
'Sirius, I can't believe you're doing this,' said Remus Lupin, who had just come in.
'Well,' answered Sirius, not stopping his piston movements for a moment, 'you didn't expect me to shag you forever did you? With your worn out old balls.'
'That isn't my fault... '
'I know Moony. Should't have allowed Snape to dangle potion bottles from them while I was in Azkaban now should you?'
Remus tried to answer, but his parole was drown out by Ron's orgasmic cry, the Headmaster had finally shagged his brains out. They formed the base for the soup the next day."
There. I am almost inclined to believe this is a parody (the normal spelling is sort of a giveaway), but... But...
The next story is called 'SEX' (See? Short and to the purpose.) and features Ginny/Harry and Ginny/Ron. According to the author it's "NC-17 4 a reason...lol and i think u no y by lookin at da very pretty title above!"
And it begins with the words: "He stripped her down and opened her clit"
Um. Yes. Oh, and she wakes up in a bed "wet with her cum".
And there's also the notorious rape!fic, titled "Rape", which received 67 reviews, one of which says: "it was good but...i think draco shouldnt be a rapist. i think that he should like regret what he did and then they get to no eachother and etc."
Needless to say that the girl he raped was coming buckets. Oh, but she "had a crush on every guy that walked by her", so she was a bit of a slut and deserved it. That's my personal opinion anyway.
I feel bad about dismissing President Bush's Protection from Pronography Week as reactionary nonsense. No, honestly. Quite obviously, these kids have been subjected to their daddies' collection of adult movies and had surfed inappropriate websites, and this is the result. *sighs*
Dubbya, we need you!
mctabby who mentioned it on her LJ, I've been spending some quality time browsing the Death-Curse Archive, a truly delightful source of fanfiction that makes your mind boggle. Since the first time I read a fic on said archive (which happened to be Ginny/Remus slash), I've been addicted. Yes, I am addicted, and am not ashamed to admit it.
Hardly ever during my history as an active fanfiction-consumer I have encountered such a variety of spelling and grammar mutilations (forget ff.net!), such abuse of language, characters, and webspace. The positive thing about these stories is: they're short. The authors don't waste time with such redundancies as plot development (or plot in general), characterisation or coherent dialogues. The stories are short and to the purpose, the language in its simplicity achieves almost poetic qualities ("He pounded again and again. She twitched and cried: 'Oh yes, pound me again and again!' He called: 'You bitch like it when I pound you again and again!!" I'm paraphrasing. But not much.), and besides, how many slash stories have you ever read in your life that feature female ejaculation? Hm?
I must admit, I am quite baffled as to the exact definition of 'slash' on Death-Curse. So far, I have come up with two options: slash means a) stories that feature graphic sex or b) stories that feature anal sex, preferably performed on (female) virgins (who ejaculate in the process). I'd dearly like to ask the authors, but am a bit worried that I might receive a not-quite-informative "u SO SUKC bitch dont flamme i cum adn fuCK ur ASS!!111" in response.
I'll just list the first three stories in the slash section, shall I?
Title: It's cumming on you
Summary: End of war party: Sirius/Harry, Remus/Snape, Dumbledore/Ron, Sirius/Draco, etc
Author: Cumbitch
The Chapter titles are: It's cumming on you, Bollocks, The Enema Ward, Angst and Pooperdoo, Swinging, and the first chapter goes thus:
"'Oy!' howled Ron, while a humongous dick was stuck so deep up his virginal arse he thought he might pass out from it.
On the other end of the Great Hall, Harry whispered, 'Sirius, I can't believe you're back, Sirius... oh! SIRIUS!!!'
'You'd better believe it, you succulent morsel you,' Sirius snarled as he humped his godson hard.
'Sirius, I can't believe you're doing this,' said Remus Lupin, who had just come in.
'Well,' answered Sirius, not stopping his piston movements for a moment, 'you didn't expect me to shag you forever did you? With your worn out old balls.'
'That isn't my fault... '
'I know Moony. Should't have allowed Snape to dangle potion bottles from them while I was in Azkaban now should you?'
Remus tried to answer, but his parole was drown out by Ron's orgasmic cry, the Headmaster had finally shagged his brains out. They formed the base for the soup the next day."
There. I am almost inclined to believe this is a parody (the normal spelling is sort of a giveaway), but... But...
The next story is called 'SEX' (See? Short and to the purpose.) and features Ginny/Harry and Ginny/Ron. According to the author it's "NC-17 4 a reason...lol and i think u no y by lookin at da very pretty title above!"
And it begins with the words: "He stripped her down and opened her clit"
Um. Yes. Oh, and she wakes up in a bed "wet with her cum".
And there's also the notorious rape!fic, titled "Rape", which received 67 reviews, one of which says: "it was good but...i think draco shouldnt be a rapist. i think that he should like regret what he did and then they get to no eachother and etc."
Needless to say that the girl he raped was coming buckets. Oh, but she "had a crush on every guy that walked by her", so she was a bit of a slut and deserved it. That's my personal opinion anyway.
I feel bad about dismissing President Bush's Protection from Pronography Week as reactionary nonsense. No, honestly. Quite obviously, these kids have been subjected to their daddies' collection of adult movies and had surfed inappropriate websites, and this is the result. *sighs*
Dubbya, we need you!
