My Very Own Snape - courtesy of ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
laurelwood
Mar. 16th, 2005 10:32 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
donnaimmaculataRight. First I'll have some fun with My Very Own Snape, then I'll answer my emails and comments, and then I'll do some work... Oops, it'll be lunch time by then. Shame.
1. Physique
a. emaciated
2. The Reason for His Greasiness
b. potions fumes
plus
e) naturally greasy hair
3. His Bits
b. not important [that is, of course are his bits important, that's what we're here for, but: I really have no concept of Snape's bits; I probably should give them some more thought...]
4. His Sexual History
d. a lifelong habit ofvisiting prostitutes desperate grudge fucks, but nothing meaningful
5. His Sexual Prowess
d) knows his technique, but is clueless about the emotional add-ons
6. His Private Quarters
d. millions and millions of books, plus functional furnishings
7. His Bedsheets
c. white cotton with a high threadcount, worn to an amazing softness
8. His Lamentable Past
a. abused by parents
b. abused by Voldemort
c. abused by Lucius
d. abused by Albus
e. abused by the Ministry
f. abused by self
g. abused by all the above (emotionally rather than physically, unless it's a h/c fic)
9. What Color is His Parachute After the War?
a. keeps on teachin' potions
f. shags Sirius [What do you mean "dead"? Isn't Snape a Death Eater?]
10. His Drink of Choice
b. whatever's handy; lots of it
11. His Leisure Pursuits
f. uses all his leisure time to stalk miscreants in the hallways, or else drinks till he passes out over a pile of 4th year essays
g. shags Sirius
12. His Out-on-the-Town Clothes; Supple Leather Boots and:
a. an unassuming pair of black trousers and a nice, but nondescript black sweater
or
d. something Edwardian-looking with lots and lots and lots of buttons
or
f. some ill-assoreted collection of Muggle clothes, think a black-clad Arthur Weasley
depends what sort of outing it is
13. His Undergarments
b. those medieval twisty things
or maybe
c. y-fronts, if he feels adventurous
14. Optional Features
a. multilingual (Mermish and Latin)
e.excellent adequate, but reluctant dancer
f. good singing voice, but he'd shag Mad-Eye Moody rather than admitting it
1. Physique
a. emaciated
2. The Reason for His Greasiness
b. potions fumes
plus
e) naturally greasy hair
3. His Bits
b. not important [that is, of course are his bits important, that's what we're here for, but: I really have no concept of Snape's bits; I probably should give them some more thought...]
4. His Sexual History
d. a lifelong habit of
5. His Sexual Prowess
d) knows his technique, but is clueless about the emotional add-ons
6. His Private Quarters
d. millions and millions of books, plus functional furnishings
7. His Bedsheets
c. white cotton with a high threadcount, worn to an amazing softness
8. His Lamentable Past
a. abused by parents
b. abused by Voldemort
c. abused by Lucius
d. abused by Albus
e. abused by the Ministry
f. abused by self
g. abused by all the above (emotionally rather than physically, unless it's a h/c fic)
9. What Color is His Parachute After the War?
a. keeps on teachin' potions
f. shags Sirius [What do you mean "dead"? Isn't Snape a Death Eater?]
10. His Drink of Choice
b. whatever's handy; lots of it
11. His Leisure Pursuits
f. uses all his leisure time to stalk miscreants in the hallways, or else drinks till he passes out over a pile of 4th year essays
g. shags Sirius
12. His Out-on-the-Town Clothes; Supple Leather Boots and:
a. an unassuming pair of black trousers and a nice, but nondescript black sweater
or
d. something Edwardian-looking with lots and lots and lots of buttons
or
f. some ill-assoreted collection of Muggle clothes, think a black-clad Arthur Weasley
depends what sort of outing it is
13. His Undergarments
b. those medieval twisty things
or maybe
c. y-fronts, if he feels adventurous
14. Optional Features
a. multilingual (Mermish and Latin)
e.
f. good singing voice, but he'd shag Mad-Eye Moody rather than admitting it
