How easily amused one gets when tiredness and desperation take over

[donnaimmaculata]

It's late, I'm tired, and the deadline's approaching inevitably. And then there's this text I'm writing. It's about products that are advertised as offering the following benefits: Superior kink resistance. High pushability. Maximum lubricity.

...

My mind keeps wandering off to frolic with my Severus muse. I wonder why.

Comments

[sparrohawk.livejournal.com]

Superior kink resistance. High pushability. Maximum lubricity.

Where, oh WHERE can I buy some??? It sounds like the answer to a prayer...

This post had me rolling on the floor. Not quite literally. But almost.

[donnaimmaculata.livejournal.com]

Good, eh? It gets even better when one learns that they're selling catheters. With superior kink resistance, high pushability and maximum lubricity. Sounds wicked, doesn't it?

I'm pretty sure the people who put it on the website have no idea about what sort of associations these terms generate.

The catheters are used to apply stents in the hearts of heart attack patients, alas.

[fluffyllama.livejournal.com]

Ooh surely they must know what words like that can do to people? I'm sure I'm in desperate need of superior kink resistance.

Still offering a Sirius here, and he comes with a free second Sev! No? Aaarrgghh. Doomed. I'm doomed.

[donnaimmaculata.livejournal.com]

Ooh surely they must know what words like that can do to people?

Well, they're German businessmen. Which means a) no sense of humour whatsoever, and b) no grasp of English whatsoever. They probably looked up the phrases word for word, ignorant of the connotations they come with.

I'm sure I'm in desperate need of superior kink resistance.

*grins* Does it have anything to do with your little problem with two dark-haired, quick-tempered muses?

You know, I'd gladly adopt a randy Sirius, but I'm already struggling with one myself, and he's currently prancing around half-naked on a tropical beach. The selfish bastard.

*goes back to writing about maximum-lubricated catheters*

[fluffyllama.livejournal.com]

They may have had something to do with it....still they are Scarlett's problem for the next week *evil chuckle*

I keep telling them they can't decide to get all bondage-y on me now, as 1. it's very distracting, 2. I don't want to scare my lovely beta away and 3. it's really really distracting *g*

May your catheters always be maximally lubricated. Now there's a scary line.

[donnaimmaculata.livejournal.com]

I hope Scarlett will be willing to give them back when the week is over. One can get quite attached to them after a while.

They can be rather well-behaved if there are enough activities going on to take their minds off getting on people's nerves.

Bondage-y, eh? Not very kink-resistant, are they?

[isiscolo.livejournal.com]

Alas, I have no kink resistance whatsoever.

[donnaimmaculata.livejournal.com]

And what about high pushability and maximum lubricity?

Oh well. Who does?

[mimine.livejournal.com]

Ouch! Catheters? And there I was thinking you were working on ad for some sex toy shop...

Let's see... a Severus resisting kink while Sirius shows up with an enormous dildo and tells him it has high pushability and maximum lubricity. Severus yells: "Stick it in your own arse if you like it so much."

The End

[donnaimmaculata.livejournal.com]

And there I was thinking you were working on ad for some sex toy shop...

I wish! I've got a couple of friends who have translated sex toy manuals. I was allowed to give advice and see the results, but it's not quite the same.

It could be highly educational, I'm sure. I'd be able to introduce Severus to kinks he couldn't long resist.

[mimine.livejournal.com]

That would be great! I'm stuck translating about Spanish cows.. I too wish I could get something more interesting. A friend is subtitling porn films and was going to get me to work on that too (dead easy and pays very well) but his boss freaked when he found out I was a girl. He couldn't possibly hire a poor, delicate female for that kind of thing... *groan*

How's the writing? *pokes*

[donnaimmaculata.livejournal.com]

A friend of mine does the subtitling for "Friends" DVDs, but it's hardly paid at all. Probably because everyone wants to do subtitling.

He couldn't possibly hire a poor, delicate female for that kind of thing...

Show him some of your writing, whydoncha? The Fred/George/Scabbers threesome should convince him of your capability.

The writing is put on ice until the end of November. Too much workload at the moment. *sighs*

[mimine.livejournal.com]

Only subtitling in porn pays well. In general the rate is so low most subtitles are extremely bad.

Pity about the writing. Hope it picks up.