(no subject)

[donnaimmaculata]

I am just catching up on the posts over at babb_chronicles, haven of bizzare badfic quotes. I've been giggling happily for quite a while, but this gem has just made me lose it completely:

Just then with a flash Snap appeared sneering in his black clothes. ‘What do you want you nasty man.’ She said. ‘I want to take you away from all this.’ Said Snape as he revealed he underneath his cape he was bear.

*dies all over again*

ETA: Draco's hand trailed down to vagina, and he began to rub softly. Hermione was in great thoughts now.
He slowly inserted a finger, and he rubbed it around in circles. Hermione was very horny, and she was ready to come when she did. It felt like the world was crashing down, she is a virgin, and she had just orgasmed, well she WAS a virgin.

*is teh dead*

Comments

[donnaimmaculata.livejournal.com]

Pleasant fat Snape. Imagine Severus putting on considerable weight each autumn and staggering heavily through the castle, sucking his paw.

[dementedsiren.livejournal.com]

Scarily enough, I can, and it hurts.

I now have the desire to attach verbs such as "waddle" and "trundle" to everything Snape does.

"Snape waddled smoothly."
"Snape trundles away with a disgruntled sigh."
"Snape lumbered sexily."
"Snape toddled about with his cock hanging out, much to Hagrid's pleasure."

[donnaimmaculata.livejournal.com]

Must be a very impressive cock if it's still visible from underneath all the fat rolls. But we knew that already.