Life seems but a quick succession of busy nothings

As I'm sure many of you don't know (because I don't really talk about it), RPS is a dirty, secret and very, very guilty pleasure of mine. I read it occasionally - though I've never managed to bring myself to writing it*, because something about it makes me queasy.*** But seeing as my crush on Ewan McGregor is currently in full swing, I have been hunting down Ewan fics and Ewan!characters fics, but there aren't all that many around, if one doesn't read Star Wars and Velvet Goldmine**** slash. I've been reading Ewan McGregor/Jude Law, which doesn't fully satisfy me, because don't like Jude Law.

And now hippediva mentioned 21 Jump Street, and after a short exchange about Johnny's character name (Tom Hanson), which was taken up by Ryan Philippe in LA Crash (where he plays a young police officer named Tom Hanson), my brain supplied me with images of Johnny Depp/Ryan Philippe slash, and, as I said to hippediva, I think there totally should be more rare RPS around.

At the moment*****, I would like to read any combinations featuring the following actors:

Ewan McGregor, Johnny Depp, Ryan Philippe, Johnny Lee Miller, Orlando Bloom******, Hugh Grant******* and, just for the fun of it, Jeremy Irons.

I would also like to write Ewan!Frank Churchill/Jeremy!Mr. Knightley slash. Ah well. One of these days.

Funnily, it's almost exactly-though-not-quite one year ago that I talked about a related issue.

*yet**

**Well, apart from John Paul II/Ratzinger.

***One should think that by writing John Paul II/Ratzinger, I successfully eliminated any capability of feeling shame, but it isn't so.

****Velvet Goldmine is teh pretty, of course, but the film is so much a slash fic in its own right that there's nothing more for a slasher to do.

*****This is likely to change on a whim. I'm as fickle as they come.

*****Who is the guiltiest of all guilty pleasures, because I don't even fancy him; but he's just so slashable!

******Who - allegedly - once said that at the point when he met Liz at college, he had sucked more cocks than she had.

I feel a deep need for cross-gen fics where the younger partner hits on the older one and gets rejected. Not because the older one gets all angsty and But-I'm-Old-Enough-To-Be-Your-Father and But-Your-Father-Was-My-Best-Friend, but because of a healthy, natural WTF reaction. I want the older man act older, in control and confident and not to be entirely overwhelmed by the attentions of a handful of young needy flesh. Sort of the absolute opposite of h/c Snarry fics with a dominant Harry and an angsty Snape.

I discussed my attitute towards cross-gen on another occasion. It just doesn't do it for me. I want the older partner to be aware of what's going on, look right through the kid's game and, possibly, be mildly amused about it. I want to see Snape laugh at Harry when Harry throws himself at him, not fuck him senseless to 'punish' him. I want Remus to frown and smile and talk Harry gently out of it (chocolate optionally). I want Sirius to overcome the shock of being kissed by his godson, seat Harry down and tell him that in spite of everything Molly Weasley thinks about him, he is well aware of Harry not being James.

Off the top of my head, I can think of three fics that fulfil these criteria:

dehkla's Harry/Sirius (Harry/Padfoot) ficlet; NC-17; warning: bestiality;

my own Remus/Draco fic; R; warning: frottage;

and, owing to my recent foray into RPS, Lassiter's Brad Pitt/Orlando Bloom fic; PG-13

Why?

It seemed that with every mouthful of wine, Orlando's limbs grew longer, and that he took up more of the booth without really moving at all. Brad knew it was a display for his benefit and he just watched, amused, daresay entertained and, sitting back, subtly parried. Orlando wasn't the only one with presence in the room.

Hell, yes! That's the reaction I want to see!

Any chance for being pointed? Anyone? Bueller?