donnaimmaculata | Entries tagged with silliness

camillabloom linked to this site the other day, which abounds in interesting theories by truly manly men and features articles titled:

- Women Look to Men for Leadership
- Illuminati Sex Slaves Paint Horrifying Picture
- Bush Victory Could Foil Occult Plot
- Frigid Women Are Usually Feminists
- Now Hollywood Sexualizes Grannies (Ooh, I definitely have to read this one!)
- Lucifer is the Secret God of Secular Society
- From Homemakers to Corporate Mistresses
- We're Being Brainwashed to be Gay
- How I became a Mensch: After Feminism Stole my Identity

I have only read one or two of these articles, but am having much fun with the headlines already. I also came across this gem:

"Alters" are mind-controlled personalities. Illuminati families like the Bushes subject their children to mind control. They worship Satan and brainwash their children by subjecting them to severe traumatic experiences, such as torture or witnessing the murder of a baby. At these times the mind disassociates and splinters into different personalities that can be programmed and recalled. These personalities are called "alters."

Apparently, one of those articles claims that Cheney is not a pederast because his large genitals horrify children.

The Judeo Masonic Roots of Modern Culture opens with the words Modern "culture" is a product of the Luciferian conspiracy against Christian Civilization and talks about a play which opened in London about "sexual love" between a married man and a goat. Aberforth/Goat, anyone?

*goes off to read about the sexualisation of grannies*

ETA: The Sexualisation of Grannies:

A woman's physical attraction is a function of her fertility. To pretend otherwise is cruel and insulting, not just to older women but to all heterosexuals.

Sexual appeal is related to one stage of life: courtship, mating and procreation. Postmenopausal women should not be made to compete with young women on this basis.

A friend married 30 years wrote to me: "Old naked women are repulsive. A wife of age, however, is beautiful because of history; and when a man looks at his wife he sees the young girl he married, not the age and wrinkles, as her eyes light up for him."

Postmenopausal women deserve dignity and respect. They are our mothers, grandmothers and wives. Their beauty derives from their soul. Their importance lies in the love they give their families.

Men cannot afford to be with women who do not accept their leadership.

I will get round to answering my comments and mails one of these days, I promise.

Only a quick link before I go to bed: Hilarious, filthy, very graphic Hagrid art, featuring Hagrid's giant cock and several magical creatures. So not worksafe. Check out the giant squid and Hagrid's crossed-eyed expression in the centaur picture.

babb_chronicles continues being a source of great joy. My favourite for today is the following quote:

hagrid teaches sex.ed and there is no comc
hagrid loves small friendly animals

How might the story go, I wondered, and came up with:

"hagrid teaches students how to love small friendly animals too
the gryffindors like the nice tickly feeling
draco malfoy squirms uncomfortably
he remembers the ferret incident
(moody also likes small friendly animals)
crabbe and goyle grunt, cuz they're fat & stoopid
hermione is very advanced and has already started on medium-sized-and-not-quite-so-friendly animals
the end."

I still wonder about COMC. Surely this is an acronym for some very bizarre play?

Right. First I'll have some fun with My Very Own Snape, then I'll answer my emails and comments, and then I'll do some work... Oops, it'll be lunch time by then. Shame.

( Here he is, my Snape )

I, Donna Immaculata, do solemnly swear that my favorite HP character is Remus Lupin and my least favorite character is Molly Weasley. The mere thought of them doing naughty things together makes me whimper. However... given sufficient crack and an infinite number of monkeys, here's how a Remus/Molly shag might happen (though I sincerely hope it never does, and if it does, I just don't want to know).

Necessary plot device or deus ex machina: Molly's menopause being in full swing already, she works herself into hysterics about the state of Harry's socks. As all her family rather hide in some forgotten corners in a house full of Dark magic than deal with Molly's humours, poor, patient Remus takes over.
Who makes the first move: Remus decides that the only way to shut her up is shoving his cock down her throat.
Positions and/or kinks: Remus' cock down her throat.
Afterglow: What with her nose blocked up with snot, Molly chokes to death on the (considerably large) cock. Remus decides to hook up with Mrs Black next.
Would I actually read or write this? I would, if only to see Molly choke to death.

The sad thing is, this is a fairly plausible pairing. Thank God Molly is not hawt enough for fandom to explore it.

Poor Tonks carries the stigma. Poor Ginny has been accused of it. But neither of them is the real OotP Mary Sue. No, the Sue has cunningly disguised itself and has assumed a truly unexpected appearance - but isn't this the marking of a real Sue?

I've just realised: The OotP Mary Sue is none other than Grawp. Have a look at the MS litmus test:

Long-lost relative of a major canon character? - Check.
Is the same gender as the author? - Who knows? Hagrid says Grawp's a boy, but did he actually check?
Belongs to a rare species on the brink of extinction? - Check.
Unusual name? - Check.
Superhuman and unique powers? - Check.
Unusual hair/eyes/physical appearance? - Check.
Comes from an exotic far-away country? - Check.
Has random hobbies that are undeniably convenient to the plot? - Check [i.e. pulling out trees and hitting people with them]
Appears out of nowhere to save our heros from mortal danger? - Check.
Sacrifices himself so that our heros can escape? - Check.
Do school rules not seem to apply to him? - Check. [Or any rules, for that matter.]
Spends an absurd amount of time depressed/brooding/sulking/being generally miserable about a situation beyond his control? - Check.
Meets the main characters and, after a few tense pages of plot, become friends with them? - Sort of.
Is ~~muggle-born~~ a giant, or doesn't know he is [related to] a wizard until he ~~gets his letter~~ is kidnapped? - Check.
Gets his school supplies with Hagrid? Hee!
Calls Hermione "Hermy"? - Check. [This, in fact, is what tipped me off in the first place.]

Well done, JKR. Pink-haired, sassy Tonks was just the red herring. It's Grawp who'll save the day.

ETA: Apparently, I haven't been getting comment notifications. If I haven't replied to any of yours, it's not because I'm ignoring you.

I am just catching up on the posts over at

babb_chronicles, haven of bizzare badfic quotes. I've been giggling happily for quite a while, but this gem has just made me lose it completely:

Just then with a flash Snap appeared sneering in his black clothes. ‘What do you want you nasty man.’ She said. ‘I want to take you away from all this.’ Said Snape as he revealed he underneath his cape he was bear.

*dies all over again*

ETA: Draco's hand trailed down to vagina, and he began to rub softly. Hermione was in great thoughts now.
He slowly inserted a finger, and he rubbed it around in circles. Hermione was very horny, and she was ready to come when she did. It felt like the world was crashing down, she is a virgin, and she had just orgasmed, well she WAS a virgin.

*is teh dead*

It's just like Rocky Horror, but without Frank's sex appeal. Haven't laughed so hard in ages.

Current Mood: amused
Current Music: It's time to vote once again!

Why, I was wondering randomly, why didn't the Ministry send Harry an expulsion letter while he was performing underage wizardry while duelling with Voldemort? And why didn't they arrive to destroy his wand? I have come to assume that while underage wizardry is forbidden, it is impossible for the Ministry to tell that children from wizarding families do magic. Fred and George use spells when researching for Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes, and Ginny hexes her brothers with the Bat-Bogey hex. Plus, the Ministry couldn't tell it was Dobby and not Harry who enchanted the pudding in CoS. The logical explanation is, the Ministry can only tell magic has been performed, but not by whom, and they have no control over underage wizards and witched doing magic within a magical environment.

But the graveyard in GoF is ordinary Muggle territory. And Harry is definitely underage there. So why?

Obviously, for plot reasons. But I quite like the idea of Ministry owls arriving with letters that tell Harry he's expelled. And enraged Ministry officials arriving a few minutes later to give poor Harry a hard time and obliviate possible Muggle witnesses.

That reminds me, I was also randomly wondering about how mixed marriages can ever take place, since the wizards' approach to Muggles seems to be to modify the memory of those who have been in contact with the magical world. Unless they're the relatives of wizards/witches.

But what would happen if a Muggle woman met a wizard under strange circumstances? If that woman, let's say Mary Lou, had crossed the path of some rampaging Death Eaters and some members of the Order, let's say Remus and Severus, happened to rescue her? What would they tell her?

( Mary Lou's first and last excursion to the underworld )

On reading

isiscolo's not-quite-slashy fic here, it occurred to me that the main area of application for the Invisibility Cloak is to spy on other people having sex and wank in the process. (Unless you're Peter, in which case it is used for kitchen raids.)

Nothing wrong with it, of course. But as the cloak is to be kept secret, Harry's not very likely to have it laundered. And as Harry doesn't strike me as the type to do the necessary washing himself, it leads to one conclusion: The Invisibility Cloak reeks of cum. It is soaked with the sperm of members of at least two generations (plus food and drink spillt by clumsy Peter during his kitchen sessions). It doesn't float gently, enveloping the wearer's form, it is stiff with dried semen and creaks eerily when bent.

In Discworld news: I adore the way

soawen's brain works. Commenting on my Snupin drabble for

villainny, she came up with the perfect partner for Death: BorrowingBinky!Granny. I was laughing for five minutes straight, and giggling happily for some fifteen minutes longer. Now, this opens wholly new possiblities for Slut!Granny, getting it on with all possible (and impossible) animals in Lancre. Including Borrowing Greebo while he pleasures Nanny.

Can you tell how much I'm looking forward to

dwsquick100?

In Very Sad News: The two longish fics I have been writing, the Snape/Black on tropical island and the Snape/Lupin featuring Lupin with his hands tied behind his back, are gone. Well, not exactly gone, not as such. Merely inaccessible. I had my brother replace my old hard disk with a new one and burned all my Word files on CD to be copied to the new disk. And guess what? The computer refuses to open any of the files on the CD. I am at a loss, and even my brother, who's really smart with computers and who's installed the burner and software, is unable to tell me how to fix it. I am lucky, I guess, that it wasn't important files like work or uni stuff, but still. I want my Snack back.

Current Mood: was giggly at first, but then I thought of Snack
Current Music: Chemical Brothers

Browsing more or less aimlessly tonight, I laughed at three Very Silly Things.

"You don't have time for washing your hair when you're battling evil from the inside" - The motto of the Double Agent website

The Order of the Phoenix Fun-tastic Innuendo List. A compilation of some quotes cited out-of-context. Very, very silly. But, sorry, a random sentence like "What d'you mean, I'm not brave in bed?" said Harry, completely nonplussed , makes me giggle.

The Most Beautiful Warts He Had Ever Seen. The Trevor/Voldemort fic. The gem from

thistle_chaser's most recent Summaries-from-Hell batch, which turned out to be actually funny. I love Trevor the Toad.

It took a long time for Trevor to realize that he was the smartest toad in the school. It, in fact, took him three years. He had realized his position at some point in the spring of last year when he wandered down his last corridor.

"Yep," he said to the empty corridor. "I'm the only toad at Hogwarts."

Of course, a few days later, he did meet several dozen toads suspended in potion jars in Snape's dungeon.

Yep. Here, I laughed.

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Save the Males
Graphic Hagrid Pr0n
The Babbling Fun Continues
My Very Own Snape - courtesy of laurelwood
mctabby's Nightmare Pairing Pledge
The Real OotP Sue
(no subject)
Teh Funny: The Presidential Horror Show
So what is this restriction of underage wizardry all about?
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Random silliness

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Page generated Jul. 8th, 2025 02:11 pm

Life seems but a quick succession of busy nothings

Loss of virtue in a female is irretrievable

Entries tagged with silliness

Save the Males

Graphic Hagrid Pr0n

The Babbling Fun Continues

My Very Own Snape - courtesy of laurelwood

mctabby's Nightmare Pairing Pledge

The Real OotP Sue

(no subject)

Teh Funny: The Presidential Horror Show

So what is this restriction of underage wizardry all about?